War Stories
by RacheKnowsNoEnd
Summary: An average boy wakes up with memories of a life that he didn't lead in addition to his own. Now, reincarnated into the body of an underage wizard, he must decide what to do with his knowledge as he attends Hogwarts with the wizarding world on the cusp of the first war with Voldemort. (Self-Insert, OMC, Slash, Yaoi)
1. Chapter One

Chapter One: 

It all started out as a fairly normal day, although I suppose all days due - it is the events that make them extraordinary or peculiar. I was walking to my next class, the weather was a little gloomy, and I had my head buried in a book. I had my chemistry final in my next class so I was getting some much needed last minute cramming in while I was walking there. I was pretty good at Chemistry, but the formulas were complex, so studying never hurt anyone. Well, I say that, but I was distracted so I didn't hear the warning shout, the tires squealing. I remember hearing someone screaming and I remember choking on my own blood. My lower body was completely numb but I had this agonizing pain in my lower abdomen, and as I looked down, I saw it was because the car was pinning me to the side of a building on the street I had been walking on. My head was pounding from the loud noises and from where my head had hit on impact. It was the least of my worries at the time but I wanted to tell the woman who just kept wailing and screaming to shut the hell up. I opened my mouth, trying to say something, and couldn't because of all the blood. There was so much blood, and the world was hazy around the edges, and all I wanted to do was sleep. I heard sirens in the background, but I closed my eyes and let out a relieved sigh mentally when the screaming finally stopped.

The next thing I remember was waking up, my eyes blinking the sleep out of them, and observing what was obviously a hospital room around me. I was in a sem-comfortable bed with starch white sheets, the walls were a normal beige looking color, and there was one chair next to my bed. There was a table with a full glass of water and one door out of the room, the only other exit being a window that showed a sunny day outside. My head was hurting still a little bit but not nearly as much as it was; In fact, besides this weird sensation in my body, I felt great considering I had just been hit and pinned to a building by a car. I was also relieved because I honestly thought I had died; I had the weirdest dream about this boy and his family, growing up with them, being taught magic by the mother figure, using a wand. It wasn't the first time I have had a Harry Potter related dream though, so I dismissed it as a particularly vivid one, and continued looking around the room. It was an odd hospital room, to be sure, because there was not a television, I wasn't connected to any machines, and the only light came from a couple of fixtures on the wall which I could have sworn had actual flames in them, like they used to use in old times.

' _What kind of hospital is this?'_ I wondered to myself, just as someone knocked on my door before letting themselves in. If I was confused before, it did not come close to how confused I became when I saw the woman who had entered my room. She was dressed in light blue robes, some kind of identification card clipped on the front, and had pants paired with a dress shirt on underneath. The woman had mousy, brown hair and looked exhausted; She was muttering under her breath so lowly that I couldn't hear and when her eyes finally rose to meet mine, she was obviously startled to see me sitting up in bed watching her.

"You're up!" The woman said with a British accent, and I shockingly nodded in response, because at the same time as she spoke up she had taken a piece of wood out of her pocket and was waving it towards me. "I just need to do a few diagnostic spells and then your medi-wizard will be in to see you. I'm only his student. Oh! How rude of me, my name is Beatrice, by the way. How are you feeling?"

I just stared at her, watching in a detached way as the clipboard hovered beside her now and a pen was writing things down. My first thought was that this had to still be a dream, but I had read somewhere that if you count your fingers in a dream you will never have ten; looking down at my own hands, which seemed smaller than they usually were and oddly colored, I counted ten digits. The next idea was that this was some kind of joke, but I didn't know anyone who would go to these kind of lengths in order to prank me. My family was small, polite, and even though we loved each other a lot, we didn't see one another much either. What was going on?

"Are you okay?" Beatrice asked me unsurely, an odd look on her face that was a mix of concern and pity. I stared at her unblinkingly, not sure what I should even say, and so I just kind of shook my head. She frowned, moving a little closer to the bed, and patted my leg. "I'm sorry dear, the Medi-wizard will explain everything when he gets here. I'm going to go tell him you're awake now, okay?"

I nodded dumbly, going over what she said in my head, and felt my confusion begin to turn to a mix of excitement and dread when she said medi-wizard. I tried to organize my thoughts and come up with a reasonable explanation for what was happening right now, but my head just kept going in circles. I couldn't wrap my head around this and my headache was getting worse the more I thought about it. I gripped the sheets with my hands, twisting them a little nervously and as something to occupy my hands with, and then glanced down. I froze, the hands following suit, and brought them closer to my eyes in order to inspect them. My hands.. They were smaller than I remembered them being. My wrists were thinner, my fingers just as long, and my skin in general was more olive colored than the deep tan I was used too. I turned my hands around to continue my examination, but there was another knock on my door and a middle aged man walked in this time. He had dark brown hair, bags under his eyes, but a small smile on his face. His eyes crinkled at the corner as he smiled and I relaxed a little bit but not by much in the hope that maybe I could actually get some answers now that he was here.

"Hello, Jasper, my name is David Kerby, I'm the medi-wizard who was assigned your case when they brought you in." The man, David, said gently with a friendly smile as he approached the bed. I blinked at him, not saying a word, because Jasper wasn't my name. My name is.. Wait.. my name. My name is.. I couldn't remember my name. Why couldn't I remember my name? "Do you know what happened, Jasper?"

"I-" I choked, my breathing coming in a little uneven as panic set in. I know my name isn't Jasper, but I couldn't remember what it actually was. I shook my head at David, and his eyes lowered briefly before coming back up to meet my own wide ones.

"You were attacked by other wizards." David said gravely, his face warping into one of disgust, sympathy, and what looked like anger. "It's normal for someone who has gone through this kind of trauma to not remember anything."

"M-my family?" I asked shakily, trying to contain my emotions.

David shook his head, the look of sympathy overtaking all of the other emotions on his face "I'm sorry, Jasper, but you were the only survivor. They found you unconscious clutching your wand, it appeared as though they had tortured you before they left you to die in the fire they started. Auror's who arrived at the scene found your body and saved you before you could succumb to your wounds, but your parents were not as fortunate. I am truly sorry for your loss. I can't imagine.."

I took in a deep, uneven, rattling breath. My family was dead, but was it actually my family? There weren't wizard's, none of this was real. He said I was clutching a wand but I have never had a wand. I couldn't think with my head pounding like this, I was beginning to feel light headed, and I vaguely noted that my hands were shaking from where they were laying on my legs. I had a terrible thought just then, and trying to get my bearings, I shakily asked David for a mirror. He gave me a strange look, but conjured one none the less, and handed it to me so that I could inspect myself.

Hands still shaking, I brought the mirror up to eye level and stared at the face reflected back at me. My face was more angular than it had been before, my skin the same olive tone that was on my hands, and my hair was a darker, golden blonde that was slightly messy from my bed head. My eyes were a dark, royal blue that were blinking owlishly back at myself instead of the normal brown that I was used too. I tentatively brought a finger to my face, touching it as though to confirm it was real and that the foreign face staring into the mirror was indeed my own, and when I felt the smooth skin underneath my pointer finger I began to hyperventilate. The mirror dropped and David flew into action, waving his wand over me and murmuring some latin words over my body that I couldn't hear over the pounding blood in my ears. A woman rushed into the room, her shape blurred by the moisture gather in my eyes involuntarily, and handed David some kind of liquid in a bottle. He was saying something to me but I couldn't hear what it was; he gripped my jaw and tilted my head up, pouring some of the liquid in my mouth and shutting it afterwards. Reflexively, I swallowed, and the next thing I knew I was falling to sleep.

 _I saw in my dream as a little boy who had a face that looked like a younger version of the one that I had seen in the mirror ran up to his parents happily, letting his Dad swing him around before placing him gently on the ground. He pulled out a wand from his pocket and told his Dad what he and his Mom had worked on today, then with a swish and flick, demonstrated the levitation charm his mother had taught him. His father looked on as his son made one of the chairs by the kitchen table lift off the ground, hovering in the air for a few moments, before with another flick of his wand the chair landed back on the floor. His father looked on with a proud smile, congratulating his son on the good work, and ruffled his hair affectionately._

 _The scene faded out, and now the boy was a few years older, sitting at a table with a cauldron in front of him. He was flipping through a book furiously, looking at the cauldron every few moments, and then back down to the book in his hands. There were ingredients spread out all over the table and the boy sighed, letting his head thud on the table for a moment. His Mom walked into the room, giggling quietly at her son's defeated posture, before casually coming up behind him and saying something. The boy lifted his head immediately, a pleading look on his face as he said something to his Mom, and then gave her his most pitiable look. His mother rolled her eyes, saying something that caused his shoulders to slump, before smirking a little to herself and saying something else as well. The boy's face lightened instantly, flipping to the back of the book for a moment before confidently grabbing one of the ingredients off of the table and throwing it into the cauldron. His Mom ruffled his hair fondly, congratulating her son, who grinned up at her with love obvious in his eyes._

* * *

I woke up a couple of times over the next couple of days, my thoughts disorganized and befuddled, but the first time I woke up for an extended time it appeared to be in the middle of the night, maybe very early in the morning. I breathed in and out, trying to relax as I sorted out all of the information my brain had been processing while I was asleep. I had learned a few things; well, I guess it was more accurate to say I learned a lifetime worth of things. I had Jasper's, which were now my own, memories. The time he had spent with his parents, when he had been homeschooled by his mother and playing Chess with his father. Growing up in Britain, a happy childhood that had slowly gotten more and more tense the older he got. There was a war brewing, Kaiser didn't know much about it besides what he read in the newspapers he could get his hands on and from hushed conversations between his parents. It was May of 1976, I knew, which meant that I was sixteen years old. More importantly, to me at least, that meant that this was the time of the first war with Voldemort.

It took me hours to go through the memories and to wrap my head around everything, and in that time I came to know few things for certain. First, somehow, I had been reincarnated into the body of a young wizard in the world of Harry Potter. I wasn't sure how I felt about that; I tried not to think on it too long, but my best guess was that the real Jasper had died and my soul was put into his body for some unknown reason. It made me uncomfortable, to think that I had taken over another person's life and had access to their memories. It also meant that I had no way of going back to where I had come from - no way of seeing my Mom, my Dad, or my sister ever again. When I realized that I had most likely died in my previous life, I'm not sure if I could call it a past life when technically it was a later time in another universe without magic, but the more I thought about it the more depressed I felt and the more my head began to hurt again. There were quite a few tears, but I think they had given me a calming draught because I wasn't freaking out nearly as much as I think I should have been.

The next thing I realized was that because I had access to Jasper's (my) memories, I had access to all of the things that his (my) parents had taught me. Already, the lines between his life and my own were blurring and hard to distinguish, so I resigned myself to thinking of both time's as mine. My mother here was an excellent witch and had taught me a lot in the years I had been homeschooled; she had drilled into me all of the courses I could remember were major in Harry Potter. DADA, Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, Herbology, Astronomy, History, and even Arithmancy. With the memories came knowledge about myself that was ingrained - I knew my best subject was Defense, my worst was Transfiguration. I hated kale, spinach, and pineapples. I took my O.W.L.'s a couple of months ahead but have not gotten the results back yet, If I was at Hogwarts I would be going into my Sixth year at the start of term.

My parents had never really told me outright why I was home schooled instead of going to Hogwarts, it was something they kept saying they would tell me when I was older. I remember a young Jasper wanting to go desperately when the letter came, but his parents had politely declined and set up the home schooling program right afterwards. I knew my parents were pureblood but didn't buy into all of the negative propaganda about muggle borns and muggles. I had a sneaking suspicion that Voldemort had tried to recruit them and they had refused; I was pretty sure Voldemort did not take rejection very well, which resulted in the Death Eater's attacking our house. I only remember bits and pieces of that night; nothing concrete and I would honestly be alright if I never remembered at all. There was a lot of loud noises, screaming, and a lot of pain. I was pretty sure I had tried to fight against them but was quickly disarmed and tortured.

After I sorted through the memories and came to terms with my situation the best that I could, which also meant I was compartmentalizing and repressing like crazy, I decided I would need a plan of action moving forward. Obviously, I was now an orphan, and I still needed to finish my education if I had even a small shred of hope in learning how to defend myself. I was hesitant though because I wasn't sure I wanted to go to Hogwarts. Was I sent here to change the way the future played out? I knew how dangerous messing with time could be, so what if one action I do actually causes hundred's more to die than was ever meant too? It was something I could way to settle, at least, because the nearest event that I really knew about and would have any power over was the night Lily and James Potter would die. I could just use the time that Voldemort is gone to go and destroy all of the Horcruxes I knew about, but I wasn't one hundred percent sure I could do it alone, which just brought me back to the point that I needed to finish my education.

I made up my mind that I would need to ask for Dumbledore, to be able to gain admittance into Hogwarts, so I would need to ask whoever came into my room as the day grew later to fetch him or notify him I wanted to speak with him. Flipping through some of the memories from my previous life, going over facts I knew about Dumbledore, I realized I would definitely need to work on my Occlumency skills before I spoke with him. My Mom had worked with me on it, but I needed to meditate it and ensure I could stop him from reading my thoughts. It would not do for him to know all of the information I did, even though it would be just like him to allow everything to go exactly as he wanted for 'The Greater Good'.

I resigned myself to going over my mental defences the way that Jasper's mom had taught him and then I would just have to make up the rest as I went along. It wasn't the best strategy, okay in all honesty it wasn't a strategy at all, but I just didn't know enough at this point. So, with that decided and just as the sun began to peek in through the window in my hospital room, I began constructing mental fortifications as strong as the walls of Hogwarts. At least, they would be in my head; hopefully, with any luck, Dumbledore didn't have a wrecking ball to get through them.

 **A/N: So, as some of you can see if you have followed/favorited this story, I had decided to rewrite this as a self insert. Something about the old story, something about Kaiser, just wasn't clicking for me - I've spent a lot of time writing in the Naruto universe lately, and I needed a change of pace for my own sanity, so I decided to start from scratch with this story about a SI OC in the Marauders Era. Hopefully, you will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it - and hopefully, you will give me some feedback as well.**

 **Much love,**

 **~Rache**


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Albus Dumbledore, arguably one of the most brilliant men alive, was almost exactly as J.K. Rowling described him. He had periwinkle robes on, his beard was long enough to tuck into trousers if he was wearing any, and his blue eyes seriously twinkled behind the half moon spectacle he was wearing. His eyes were lighter than my own deep blue ones, but they had a keen awareness and wisdom that I knew mine absolutely lacked. He was a strange to me because I knew how powerful he was, and I could feel how powerful he was, but he had the demeanor of the eccentric grandparent down to an art form. I'm sure it made quite a few people underestimate him or trust him, but I was being wary regardless.

I had found out right before I asked if I could speak with Professor Dumbledore that the odd sensation I had been feeling ever since I woke up was my magical core. Not only could I sense my own core, being a foreign entity in my body (or would it be me that is the foreign entity? This was so confusing), but I could also sense another person's magic as well. Dumbledore's magic was soothing but immense, like a giant blanket over the room, and it was like when I was younger and would go into my parents bed and hide under their covers. The blanket was huge, comfortable, and warm; but it could still suffocate me if I wasn't paying attention or if someone caused it too. Not that I would ever be wary of a blanket, but the metaphor was accurate; Albus Dumbledore had a big presence that made me wary, safe, and apprehensive all at once. We had been sitting in relative silence the past couple of minutes as he waited for me to speak again now that we had introduced ourselves to one another and I had declined his offer of candy.

"Sir, thank you for coming." I said quietly, my eyes tracing the pattern my finger was making in the sheets on my bed. I knew Legimens needed eye contact for the skill to work most efficiently, so I was going to avoid meeting those twinkling orbs of his the most that I could.

"Absolutely, my boy. I am sorry to hear about the tragedy that has befallen your family." Professor Dumbledore said, his words matching the tone of sympathy his voice carried perfectly. "I am afraid it is dark times that we live in currently."

"Yes, sir." I agreed, eyes still downcast but glad that he had given me an opening to tell him exactly why I had asked to speak with him. "I guess you're wondering why I asked the medi-wizard if I could speak to you?"

"It had crossed my mind, yes." Dumbledore said, smiling benignly at me when I glanced up to see his expression.

"Well, sir, I was wondering if I could continue my education. At Hogwarts." I said, frowning at how timid I sounded. That wasn't like me. "As you said sir, we don't live in the best of times and if I ever come across.. His followers again, I want to protect myself."

"I must admit, I imagined you would ask to come to Hogwarts." Dumbledore said as I trailed off "And Hogwarts doors are always open to students willing to learn and ask for help. I think you would fit in just fine."

"Thank you, Professor." I said, relieved it had been that easy. "I was hoping I could start at the beginning of this next term. I would be in my sixth year, sir."

"Ah, yes. I will have to ask the Ministry for a copy of your O.W.L.'s then." Dumbledore said, smiling at me still. "I am curious, what are your plans until you start Hogwarts? There are quite a few months left still."

"I have no family left, sir." I said quietly, the thought of being alone quite daunting. "They are talking about putting me in an orphanage for a year until I turn of age, but I am going to try to file for emancipation."

"Emancipation?" Dumbledore mused, not sounding surprised at all. "Why is that?"

"I'd like to live at my home and be able to practice magic until I can attend Hogwarts, Professor." I said, fiddling with the sheets. I wasn't prepared for him to ask all of these questions, I was hoping the conversation would pretty much end after Dumbledore had given me permission to come to Hogwarts.

"Well, if you would agree to a couple of my friends stopping by every now and then, I think I could put a good word in at the Ministry about declaring you independent." Dumbledore said, making my eyes go wide and snap up to look at him. When our eyes met, I felt a tentative probe against the Occlumency shield I had built around my mind; One most people wouldn't notice, I'm sure, but I did because of how strange and new magic was to my mind even though this body had practiced it for years.

"Absolutely, Professor." I said, thinking about how much easier it would be to study everything I needed too now that the chances of me living on my own were increased. No one to loom over my shoulder and question me all the time.

"Now, there is something I must ask you." Dumbledore said, face and tone turning serious instantly, which caused me to unconsciously reinforce the barrier around my head once more for comfort more than necessity.

"Yes, sir. Anything." I replied, swallowing nervously

"What do you remember of the attack on your family?" Dumbledore asked gently, eyes boring into my own.

"I-I don't remember much, honestly." I said, thinking about the repressed memories that weren't even my own but repressing tears anyway because though they hadn't been my parents, I remembered their lives and they had no one else to mourn them. "I remember them killing my father, and then my mother and I trying to fight them. I think they were toying with us, and then there were lights, and screaming, and then I woke up here and they told me my family was.. That they weren't here any more."

"Did they say or do anything you thought might be strange?" Dumbledore asked, blue eyes twinkling at me in full force.

"N-no, sir. Not that I can remember." I said honestly, shrugging my shoulders.

"Thank you, my boy. I'm sorry I asked you to remember those things." Dumbledore replied, standing up out of his seat. I was honestly surprised by how tall Dumbledore was; he towered over me as I was sitting upright in my bed, and although he was very lean, he cut a striking figure all the same. Dumbledore bid me a pleasant evening and turned to go, only stopping with his hand on the door handle when I called out to him.

"Sir." I called out hesitatingly, worried I would step too far but hoping this would be enough to plant a seed in Dumbledore's mind that I could be trusted. "They say you are fighting him. Is that true?"

"Why do you ask that?" Dumbledore asked me, turning around once more to face me. Thankfully it wasn't anger or suspicion on his face, just curiosity.

"I want to fight him sir. For what he did to my family. I know the Aurors are but that would take too long once I graduated and got all of the training they require." I said, my blue eyes locked onto his. In my head, I knew Dumbledore wouldn't let a kid going into his sixth year be apart of the war; but I needed him to know I might be interested in fighting and this may be the only chance I have to speak with him one on one. Granted, I wasn't sure if I actually wanted to join the Order but I might need to in order to get some of the things done that I do.

"I admire your bravery and your courage, Mr. Tatham." Dumbledore said gravely, eyeing me as though analyzing me. "Ask me again once you graduate Hogwarts and I may have an answer for you. Until then, I encourage you to enjoy what times you can while you can."

"Thank you, sir." I said, and without another word he left. I had expected that reply and so I was satisfied with the conversation with Dumbledore. Going over it in my head, I was sure that there was nothing suspicious that I had said and that it was the best I could have done. Sighing, I collapsed down into the slightly lumpy hospital bed. There was nothing left to do now but wait until I could be released and see what the Ministry would have to say.

* * *

A few weeks later I walked out of the Ministry of Magic with a small, satisfied smile on my face. I wasn't sure if it was Dumbledore's word or if the orphanage's were just getting crowded, but looking at what little money my parents had left me and how old I was, they had deemed that I was capable enough to look after myself and was now emancipated. Only one of the witch's present had seemed to doubt me, but I presented my argument as to why I should be logically, and had convinced her by the end. I had, after all, the money to survive, working knowledge of magic with good greats in most, great grades in some, of my classes and I had sought Dumbledore out about finishing my education myself. They saw I had a decent head on my shoulders and so I was now virtually an adult.

I was wearing simple brown robes, with a tan shirt and light brown pants. I walked out of the ministry twirling my wand which I had found out was Aspen wood, eleven inches, and with a unicorn hair core. The memory of Jasper getting the wand when he turned eleven came unbidden as soon as one of the medi-witches had given it back to me. It was strange, the first time I held it, because it felt foreign but familiar at the same time. I had felt a rush of warmth travel along my arm and into the core of my magic, which had startled me enough to drop the wand and thankfully I had been alone. I had been carrying it ever since and it was now second nature to me to have it on hand. I had finally been released from St. Mungo's today just in time for my hearing, and I was now free to do as I wished until it was time to go to Hogwarts in a few months.

The first thing that I did was use the Knight Bus to get home since I wasn't old enough to apparate yet, I had asked if I could since I was an adult but they said I wouldn't be eligible until seventeen and then explained how to use the Knight Bus. I was dropped off at my house and stumbled with the onslaught of unexpected memories that surrounded the house where this body had grown up. I tentatively walked up the stairs to the front door, my fingers trailing against the handrail, and looked around the neighborhood. It seemed ordinary enough of a place, the houses were pretty far apart and it was a relatively rural area, but I knew I was surrounded by muggles. My parents had to cast a notice me not charm on the house and some other advanced muggle repelling charms to avoid them coming to the house and so that we could use magic in the backyard when Dad and I used to duel.

I explored the house that I had only seen in memories so far with an odd sensation of nostalgia. I went to the kitchen first and half expected to see the blonde haired woman I called Mom to be chopping food or potion ingredients while she sang along to the wireless wizard radio. I glanced at the table I could see in the dining room where I had memories of doing homework throughout my childhood. Everything was exactly the same as I remembered it, which surprised me even though the last memory I had of this place was from a month ago and no one had been in since besides Auror's. They must have fixed all of the damage from the spells and from the fire before they had finished that night. Because of the fire my parents in this time had not gotten a burial or a funeral at all, which I was selfishly glad for because I wasn't sure how I would handle that.

I made my way up the stairs and unconsciously went to the right, where I knew my bedroom would be, and flopped down on the bed, casting my eyes and observing the space. It had a desk, a chalkboard, a chair, a bed, and a dresser inside of it. There was also a small closet in the corner of the room. Even though it would have been nice to just curl up and go to sleep, maybe after a shower, I knew that I needed to get my priorities straight. So, I did what I always do before I needed to organize, and I made a list. The first thing I needed to do was get access to my vaults. Then, I needed to get some books and begin learning everything I could in the coming months in preparation for Hogwarts. I also needed to get the timeline written down so that I wouldn't forget it, but before I could do that, I would need a powerful enough spell to conceal it so no one could see it but me. I could also write it in a code only I would understand so that if they did they wouldn't be able to make heads or tails of whatever I had written on the parchment.

Sighing, I wrote all of this down on the chalkboard, and then tucked that into the closet in case I had any unannounced visitors while I was out. I found out, happily, that the closet was quite massive compared to what I had thought it had been; it was basically a walk in closet, and not for the first time, I was extremely glad magic existed. With that done, I went downstairs and opened the fridge to make something for lunch before I went to visit Gringotts. When I saw the space empty besides two cans of lemonade and an onion, I decided to just eat lunch at Diagon Alley and get groceries later.

Without anything else to use as an excuse to procrastinate, although I wasn't avoiding it too hard because who as a child had ever not wanted to visit Diagon Alley, I called the Knight Bus back and told Glenn, who had obviously been replaced by Stan in the future, and a much younger Ernie to take me to the Leaky Cauldron. The trip was just as disconcerting as it was on the way to my house; the bus went insanely fast and squeezed itself through impossible gaps in the London traffic. I was honestly happy I had an empty stomach at this point because it lurched slightly without any food inside my belly, so I wasn't sure how it would handle Ernie's driving if I had eaten lunch at home.

Glen bade me to have a good afternoon cheerfully enough and I was soon walking through The Leaky Cauldron. I tried not to stare but it was hard because this was an interesting place filled with very interesting people. The atmosphere was a lot less robust than I had imagined it would be but I was going to contribute that to the fact that a war was going on. I had stolen quite a few copies of The Daily Prophet during my stay at the hospital, and thankfully kept from grinning stupidly at the fact that the photographs really did move on their own, and found out that while it wasn't a full blown war yet, the Death Eaters were certainly getting more bold as of late. They were comparing Voldemort to Grindelwald, talking about his views on muggle-borns, and various other things. So it hadn't gotten as bad as it would, but it was definitely beginning to get more and more grim.

I made my way through the crowd and tapped the necessary bricks in order to reveal Diagon Alley. Thankfully, I had memories of coming here often with my mother in this life, so it was easy to remember the combination to get in. I felt as though it was getting easier to recall things from my memory, way easier than it had been in my past life, and I remembered far more. While I still couldn't remember what my old mom's name had been or my sister's, I meant that it was as though I was suddenly granted a perfect memory and I could pick through it to find what I needed. I thought about it as I navigated the streets of Diagon Alley, trying and just barely succeeding from getting distracted by all of the store's, and finally attributed the newfound memory to Jasper, or I guess me. He had obviously been smart, studied a lot, and had a great memory before I was put in this body so I guess it was just a perk of being reincarnated into him. Just like being short was a slight disadvantage. I was used to being six feet and an inch, but this body was five feet and eight inches; and I didn't think I was going to be growing anytime soon.

The goblins at Gringotts were certainly more intimidating that J.K. Rowling had written them to be, or at least they were to me, because their small beady eyes followed you as you walked up to the huge counter where a goblin waited expectantly. I didn't understand why they needed such high desks anyway, it was most likely just because they had a problem being shorter and wanted a way to look down on anyone who had to use their services, but I certainly wasn't going to bring up that idea here of all places.

"I need to access the vault my parents left me. They passed away recently and I was told to come here to sort things out." I said awkwardly, trying not to shuffle my feet and to appear like a kid.

"Name." The goblin said dispassionately, eyes narrowed into a scornful look.

"Jasper Tatham." I replied, keeping my voice level and projecting it so that he could hear me. Being a single child, Jasper had never talked very loudly, so I had to consciously make an effort to speak up sometimes.

"Follow me, Mr. Tatham." The goblin said, as though it were the low point of his day to stop what he was doing and help me. I was beginning to understand why people didn't care for goblins, but pushed that thought out of my head as soon as it came.

' _Wizards and goblins have a long, bloody history and wizards wrote the history books. You don't know why they act the way they do, so just grit your teeth and be polite_ ' I thought to myself, following the goblin through a pair of double doors and trying to shake the trepidation I felt.

The next two hours were filled with boring, menial paperwork and the same goblin, who's name I found out was Pagnuk, pointed out important parts before telling me to sign. While they were less than considerate, the goblins were thorough I had to admit because I understood everything they said and when I didn't they explained it for me. My parents had not been rich by a long shot but had enough in their accounts that I could live comfortably for my time at Hogwarts and a couple of years afterward if that is what I wanted to do. I let out a thankful groan when Pagnuk said the paper he had just laid down was the last one, which earned me a glare from aforementioned goblin, and shook out my hand from where it was cramping a little. After he had filed everything away, I stood and followed Pagnuk down to the vault and got quite a few galleons out in order to do some shopping before I left Gringotts. A quarter of an hour later had me leaving the bank with a sack full of money, my vault key, and my eyes searching for somewhere to eat.

After I had eaten fish and chips in a small cafe on a corner near the bank, I walked up and down the street's trying to find the bookstore. I knew, from my past life, that it was named Flourish and something, but I couldn't remember the second part. It only took about ten minutes of searching for my eyes to find Flourish and Blotts bookstore and pretty quickly after that I was perusing the shelves of books with a smile of satisfaction on my face. I got three books; One was about warding, one was about useful charms, and the last one was curses. I bought the books and decided to call it a day after I had gotten enough things from a nearby store to eat for a couple days, so I lifted all of my bags and called the Knight Bus back to pick me up after I made it through the Leaky Cauldron.

After I got home and stored all of the food away in the fridge, I went upstairs to my room which seemed to have the least amount of memories attached to it in the house, and pulled the books out to begin reading. If I was going to be in this world, and going to be using magic, I needed to protect myself so I started with the book about warding which was a bit thicker than the other two and settled down for the evening. When I realized how complicated it was, I got a notebook from the closet so that I could take notes as I read, and prepared myself for a long few months with nothing but books for company.

 **A/N: Second chapter! Review to let me know what you think :) Thank you!**


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Magic was absolutely fascinating - even the Potions part of it was way more interesting than the mundane equivalent, which is Chemistry. I don't understand how everyone isn't completely captivated by it and studying all the time. I mean, I get that it can be kind of boring during some bits of it but just the thought that it's relevant to doing magic can motivate me through any dry reading. I understand why Hermione constantly had her nose in a book - there are just so many spells to read about. My first three weeks, the only time I left the house was to get food so that I wouldn't starve - otherwise, I was practicing and reading. I still exercised regularly, this body was used to running just as much as my last one thankfully, and I took a small break every now and then. I started by going over everything that Jasper, that I, already knew. Levitation charm, transfiguring basic things, stunning curse, disarming curse, and things of that nature. That only took a couple of weeks because of how good of a memory I had now and the fact that I already knew it. After I felt I had gotten 'caught up' so to say with this bodies magical endeavors, that's when I began to learn more. I learned about shield spells, different wards (there was this one that people often used around camp sites that would make someone think there were angry bears ahead), and other various things that I thought were fascinating. The only thing that was almost too boring to get through was History, even though it was slightly more interesting than muggle history, it was still enough to put me to sleep sometimes. I couldn't imagine what having Professor Binn's voice being the one lecturing would be like.

The fourth week of my self-imposed exile brought me my first houseguests. I had heard my doorbell ring and instantly got my wand out, approaching the door with caution, because it had to be someone magical since the muggle repelling charms were so strong. I cracked the door open to see who it was and my jaw dropped - standing on my porch was a red-haired woman with one child on her hip, the other had a big container full of some kind of stew, and another red-headed child clinging to her legs. Her head jerked when she heard the door crack open and she had a smile on her face instantly.

"Hey dear, My name is Molly Weasley, Dumbledore told me to drop by and see you." Molly Weasley introduced herself, readjusting one of her kids on her hip from where he was sliding off. "I would offer to shake your hand but my hands are full."

"Let me help with that." I offered, opening the door wider so that she could step in, and then getting an armful of red-haired child. I opened my mouth to tell her that I had meant I would carry the stew in her hands but she was already bustling past me towards the kitchen.

"Oh, thank you. That's Bill, and the one hiding behind me is Charlie - they're both my sons." Molly introduced, stopping and tsking at my kitchen when she saw it and the contents of my fridge. My face flushed when I heard the noise - I had meant to go grocery shopping earlier but I couldn't get this non-verbal curse down correctly. "Dearie, look at this. Good thing I brought some food over, no sense in you starving."

"Thanks." I murmured, face still pink from embarrassment and still holding Bill in my arms. Internally, I was freaking out a little because - Bill Weasley was in my arms! The future kick ass cursebreaker was a little, adorable kid who was yawing and twisting to get a better look at his mother.

"It's no problem at all, Jasper dear." Molly brushed off my thanks, whipping her wand out and surprising me as she got a pot to fly out of the cabinet, poured the stew in, and then set the oven to heat it up. She also flicked her wand towards the dishes and they started scrubbing themselves clean, drying themselves, and then put themselves neatly away into the correct place. I shook my head in amazement at all of the magic she had just done, non-verbally I might add. She glanced up at my face and just smiled, showing all of her teeth. "Magic makes things so much easier. So how are you? Terrible thing that happened to your family, I am sorry for your loss."

"Thanks, Mrs. Weasley. I've been fine, just studying a lot." I answered, giving her a brief smile of assurance to let her know that I was really doing fine.

"Oh good to hear, good to hear and please call me Molly" Molly said, brightening up a little. We talked about a couple of things that I was studying, about Bill and Charlie, about her husband Arthur, and she even helped me with the curse I was struggling with. She only agreed to help if I ate all of the stew in my bowl, which was a lot by the way, before we started working on it. Molly stayed for a couple of hours, just visiting really, and I honestly enjoyed the company. It didn't dawn on me how lonely I had been until someone was here visiting. After Molly left with promises to come back in a couple of weeks, the house once again returned to being quiet. It was a lot more clean now though, which was something, so I went back to studying.

My next visitor came a week after Mrs. Weasley and if I was surprised when a young Mrs. Weasley had shown up, it was nothing to the shock of seeing Professor McGonagall on my doorstep in her emerald robes and pointy hat. Professor McGonagall was one of my favorite characters in the entire series - and you find out almost nothing about her throughout. She was fair, stern, and a powerful witch - Her magic felt like a stone, impenetrable. She had come by to check and see how I was doing, to tell me a little about Hogwarts, and to help me pick out the classes that I wanted to take this coming year.

"So, it appears you got an Outstanding in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Potions, Charms, Transfiguration, and Astronomy. An Exceeds Expectations in Arithmancy, Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures, and History of Magic. This, as you no doubt know, means that you can apply for almost any career field." Professor McGonagall said, her lips upturned just a little bit as she read my scores off. "And Congratulations, these truly are excellent scores. It said on the results you were considering being either a Professor or a spell inventer, is that correct?"

"An Auror." I replied instantly, before thinking about how interesting I would find both of those jobs. McGonagall's eyebrows rose a little bit in surprise but wrote down what I said nevertheless.

"That is quite a career change. May I ask what brought that about?" Professor McGonagall asked, her lips thinning a little.

"My parents were murdered, Professor, and the murderer's got away." I said slowly, considering the words I was saying. "I would very much like to be a Professor like yourself one day, but I feel like this is what I need to do now."

"Very well." Professor McGonagall said, eyes softening a little in understanding. "In that case, you will need to continue to take Defense, Transfiguration, Charms, Herbology, and Potions. They require a minimum of five newts and no grade under exceed expectations, although if your work continues in this manner I do not see that being a problem for you. Then you would be required to undergo a stringent series of character and aptitude tests at the Auror office. It's a difficult career path... they only take the best."

"I understand, Professor." I said, nodding along with what she said. "I would also like to continue with Care of Magical Creatures as well."

"Very well." Professor McGonagall said, writing down on a piece of parchment that I could see had my name clearly written at the top. "This is a difficult career path you've chosen, and a dangerous one, so I hope you are prepared for it. I can tell you are a bright student, Mr. Tatham, so I look forward to teaching you at Hogwarts."

"Thank you, Professor." I said, smiling at her and pinking a little bit at her praise. I know for a fact thanks to the books, if they were even accurate but so far they seemed to be, that she did not compliment people often and for no reason, so it meant a lot to hear those words from her.

"Now, I have to get going, but if you need anything at all please don't hesitate to ask me. I will see you on September 1st, that is the same day you will be sorted at the Welcoming feast. Do you know about the four houses?"

"Yes, Professor." I answered, wondering which one I would be in. I had done the test's online before and almost always got Ravenclaw, so I was leaning towards that being the house I'd be put in.

"Good. I wouldn't mind seeing you in Gryffindor, but we'll have to wait and see." Professor McGonagall said, smiling thinly at me before she left my house and disappeared with a turn and a 'pop'. I could not wait until I could apparate legally, it was so convenient. Shrugging my shoulders, I turned to close the door and go back to studying the stronger version of a shield charm I had been reading about prior to Professor McGonagall knocking on my front door.

The months flew by with random visits by Molly, rarely without the kids, and she usually stayed for at least a couple hours just talking with me. I was extraordinarily thankful to Dumbledore and Molly for these visits because not only did it ease the loneliness but it gave me a chance to ask questions about some spells I had run into that I couldn't do for one reason or another. Molly was pretty bright, and not for the first time, I wondered what she would have done if she had not had so many kids that she had to be a housewife. I knew she was strong, I mean she defeated Bellatrix Lestrange in a duel, but I never knew she was as smart as she was. I asked her one day, after I thanked her for her help, and I was honestly surprised by her answer after she got done laughing.

"I always wanted a big family, dear. In fact, my husband and I are going to keep trying until I have at least one girl, so we will probably have another soon." Molly said, smiling radiantly at me as she held her tea with both hands and looked at her wedding ring. "After my kids are grown up and have jobs of their own, I always thought I might open a restaurant up."

"I can see that perfectly." I told her, smiling because I honestly could. Molly always brought me food over when she visited and if this is what it tasted like know, and I couldn't imagine it being any better, than I can't wait to see what it would taste like after twenty years of experience. "What would you call the restaurant?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe The Burrow?" Molly said, laughing lightly.

"That's what your house should be called." I said lightly, only half-jokingly. "Although, with how good your cooking is, if you opened a restaurant I'd probably eat there more than I would at my own house."

"You are such a charmer." Molly laughed, squeezing my shoulder as she got up to get a little bit more tea. "I should call my house The Burrow though, it sounds so familiar and warm."

"That it does." I agreed, hiding my smile behind my cup. I thought it was hilarious that I was the one who had put the idea in her head this time around to call her home that.

Before I knew it, it was August Thirty-first and I was due to head to Platform Nine and Three Quarters tomorrow morning in order to catch the Hogwarts Express. I was beyond excited, a little nervous, and just a tiny portion of me was confident. I had learned a lot these last few months, I had gotten all of my school supplies tucked away in my trunk, and I felt confident that I was going to be fine as far as schoolwork went. I knew they introduced non-verbal spells this year, but I had been practicing those the entire time since my stay in the hospital and used most of my spells without saying them now, and I had already read ahead by at least three chapters in every subject's book so that I would be prepared. Overkill, maybe, but I wanted to make a good impression and wanted to stay ahead in case there was something I got stuck on and needed to spend a little more time.

I looked in the mirror the next morning, combing my dark golden blonde hair down so it wasn't sticking up everywhere, put on a royal blue t-shirt that brought out my eyes and a pair of pants that hugged my legs and butt quite nicely. I know I was here to learn, but I had a pretty nice looking face and a good body, so might as well show it off just a little. I wasn't sure how the magical world viewed homosexuality, but I was hoping it would be a little more progressive than the muggle world. My dad, the one from my past life, had hated the fact that I was gay and was constantly trying to 'fix me'. Even though he couldn't accept me, I had loved him and I know he loved me; it was just something foreign to him that he couldn't understand and he wanted me to be normal. The problem was that it's not some disease you can fix - I was born this way, I like being this way, and not even dying and being reborn in another boy's body was going to change the fact that I liked guys.

Shaking my head to get rid of the rather deep thoughts, I went downstairs where my trunk was sitting, closed, next to the door. With a flick of my wand, I drew all of the blinds in the house and I quickly made sure all of the lights were turned off before locking the door on my way out. I raised my right hand, my wand gripped loosely between my fingers, and with a 'bang' the Knight Bus was in front of my house and Glen was offering to help me load my trunk.

"I've got it, Glen." I told him, smiling in greeting and performing a non-verbal levitation spell so that the trunk would float in front of me onto the bus. Glen shook his head, he thought it was awesome I could do magic and I was only sixteen even if it was because of morbid circumstances, and I quickly found a spot to sit down as the bus shot off to head towards the Leaky Cauldron. We let a few people off so they could go to Diagon Alley, a couple more people disembarked at one of the entrances to the Ministry of Magic, and finally we arrived at the train station. I dragged the trunk off manually because of all the muggles around, paid Glen and Ernie, and then headed into the train station.

In my letter it had told me how to enter Platform Nine and Three Quarters, and I wondered why they hadn't included something like that in Harry's letter. Part of me thought that maybe Dumbledore had planned for him to run into the Weasley's, knowing Ron was the same age and from a good family, and that's why he hadn't. I didn't waste much time thinking about it though because there was no way to know for sure, so with purposeful strides I walked to the barrier and went through the bricks that stood between platforms nine and ten. When I got to the other side, I stepped out of the way just in time as a couple of kids ran through the barrier a moment later, and I stood looking around with a smile on my face. The train looked exactly like it did in the movies and I soaked in the sounds of families saying goodbye, friends reuniting, and just people in general.

I stood and observed all of the people for a moment longer before making my way to the train in order to find a compartment. Hopefully, it wouldn't be too full and I could find one with just one or two people inside of it even though they were meant to fit six. I walked down the aisle, looking into compartments and dragging my trunk behind me, before I finally found an empty one. I grinned to myself at my luck and stowed my trunk on the luggage rack above the seats. I had a backpack that I carried my Hogwarts uniform in so I wouldn't have to get my trunk down to change and luckily I had also packed a book so that I could read on the way there. I was reading quietly in my compartment for about five minutes before I heard a loud noise that came from down the hall of my compartment, then a lot of girls started screaming so I tentatively opened the compartment door up and stuck my head out the door to see what was going on. I saw two boys come racing down the corridor, and before I knew it, they had moved me out of the way and pushed themselves into my compartment. I stepped back, eyebrows raised at the audacity of the two and wondering why they had been running, and waited for them to catch their breath and quit laughing.

One of them had messy black hair, hazel eyes, glasses, and was wearing some kind of jersey and a pair of jeans. The other had shoulder length black hair, gray eyes, and was wearing a faded t-shirt with some band on it and a pair of well worn jeans. Looking between the two, my mouth fell open, because this had to Harry's father - James Potter. Which would mean that the guy in the band t-shirt? That was Sirius Black. My mind kind of fried at that point because wow, they were extraordinarily hot. I mean, James was hot in an athletic kind of way, but Sirius was hot in every form of the word. His skin was slightly tanned, completely clear, and he had a bone structure that would make anyone envy him. His eyes were gray and they seemed to dance while he laughed, which did oddly enough sound kind of like barking just like the book described, and the clothes he was wearing fit him in all the right places.

I noticed pretty quickly that they had stopped laughing, so I ripped my eyes off of Sirius' chest and looked up just to see that they were looking at me expectantly. James had a questioning look on his face and Sirius was smirking just a little, the corner of his mouth just barely tipped up. I flushed, pink dusting my cheeks, because I would be willing to bet they had said something and I was too busy checking out Sirius to notice or hear what they had said.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" I asked sheepishly, rubbing my neck

"I said sorry for barging in here, mate. We set off a dung bomb in the Slytherin's compartment and they were on a warpath, mind if we hang out in here for a little bit?" James asked, apparently again.

"Oh, n-no problem." I said, wincing internally when I stammered a little bit. Okay, I needed to get a grip. Yes, they were extraordinarily handsome and this body had a lot of hormones racing through it right now - but I had seen attractive guys before, no need to get all weird about it.

"I'm James Potter, this is Sirius." James introduced himself, waving a hand in Sirius' direction. "We're in Gryffindor."

"Erm, nice to meet you." I replied, smiling a little and showing my teeth. "I'm Jasper. Jasper Tatham."

"Good to meet you, Jasper Tatham." Sirius drawled, lazily collapsing on one of the seats across from where I was now sitting. "I've never heard your name before, what year are you in?"

"I'm a sixth year." I replied, putting my hands in my lap as I spoke and glancing between the two surprised faces the Gryffindor's in front of me were making.

"Really? Us too, what house are you?" James asked, leaning forward a little as his interest was piqued. "I swear I've never seen you in class before mate, no offense."

"I'm new, so you wouldn't have seen me, so no offense taken." I replied, fingering my book nervously as they looked at each other. If you have ever watched two people who have basically grown up together or have known each other for a very long time have a silent conversation, that was what was happening right in front of me. It was disconcerting, for me at least, because I had no idea what to expect when James turned his face and hazel met my own blue eyes.

"Well, Welcome to Hogwarts!" James said charmingly, showing off his white teeth and messing with his hair a little. I smiled back, eyes flicking over to Sirius who just looked bored.

"Thanks." I replied

"So, what house do you want to be in?" James asked, a curious glint in his eye.

"Oh, that's easy.." I replied, trailing off for a moment as I got an idea. They were known as pranksters, I mean they were the Marauders, so why not play a bit of a joke on them? "Slytherin."

"What?!" James cried out, looking disappointed and mildly upset "Why would you want to be with those snakes?"

"Seriously, mate, I'm questioning your taste now." Sirius said, sitting up a little in surprise when he heard me say I wanted to be in Slytherin.

"Well, they are just better than all of the other houses." I replied, keeping a straight face even though James looked like he was about to explode. Sirius' eyes narrowed as he looked at me, almost daring me to continue.. So I did. "I mean, they have the right sort of people, they are ambitious, clever. Sounds like a winner to me."

"And what in merlin's beard do you mean by 'the right people'?" James thundered, his voice getting louder the more he thought about what I said. I figured it was enough winding them up, no sense in getting cursed for no reason, so I explained.

"Y'know, the right people. Liars, Idiots, Back Stabbers, future Death Eater's, elitists, snobs, and chauvinists." I said, listing off descriptors that were in all fairness accurate for at least some Slytherins. I wanted to be in the Marauder's good books though so I figured they would appreciate a little snake bashing. As I spoke, I saw Sirius' smirk return and his eyes crinkle at the corners as he looked to see James reaction.

"Har har, you're hilarious." James grumbled, his face fading from the red it had been out of exasperation or anger. I smiled innocently in return, which made James laugh and the tension that had been in the compartment moments ago faded away. "So, being serious this time, which house?"

"Ravenclaw or Gryffindor." I said, shrugging a little bit.

"Well, the right choice is Gryffindor." James exclaimed, throwing his hands up a little bit. "Tell him, Padfoot. It's the where the brave at heart dwell, the courageous! We also have the best Quidditch team!"

I laughed, shaking my head at his enthusiasm "Well, you've got me sold, but I think it's up to some sort of hat, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is. You know a lot about Hogwarts for a transfer." Sirius said suddenly, his eyes still looking at me but the bored expression was wiped off of his face completely.

"Oh, yeah. I guess I do. My parents went and I've read up on it." I said, hiding my nervousness at the rather blunt question that could have been taken as an accusation. Luckily, Sirius just nodded and let it go. James, however, had his interest piqued.

"Oh, your parents went here?" James asked, curiosity evident in his facial expression. "What houses were they in? Why are you just now coming?"

I combed through my memories so I could answer the first question, thankful my parents had actually came to Hogwarts. I had just thrown that out there randomly but at least it was true; I needed to be more careful. "My Mom was a Ravenclaw, my Dad was a Gryffindor. Up until this year, I had been homeschooled, but I can't be anymore."

"Oh, do you play Quidditch?" James asked, skimming over the topic of why I couldn't be homeschooled easily which made me grateful.

"I've never played." I answered, ignoring James gasp of disbelief which made Sirius chuckle. "I've flown before, but I've never played an actual match."

"Are you a good flier?" James asked, eyes glinting with something.

"Prongs, you don't even know if he'll be in Gryffindor yet." Sirius said, smacking James' shoulder lightly.

"He could be! And I'm just wondering!" James defended himself, rubbing the area Sirius had hit him at even though there was no way it had honestly hurt him.

"Oh bollocks, don't even try to play innocent." Sirius said, pointing an accusing finger at James who just grinned in a way that made him appear slightly maniacal.

"Um, I'm lost." I said, confusedly looking between the two guys sitting in front of me.

"You were being unknowingly scouted." Sirius told me, smirking at the look on James face. "Prongs here made Team Captain this year. We lost a of our players because they graduated, so James has been thinking of who can replace them all summer."

"And you have the perfect build for what I need!" James interjected, and my face went red as I blushed at the implication. Realistically, I knew what he meant, but remember those hormones? Yeah, they kept my mind in the gutter sometimes. Sirius took one look at my face and busted out laughing, which just made me flush more, and James had a horrified look on his face when he realized what was going on.

"You have a seeker's build!" James clarified, shaking his head rapidly at me. "You are thin and kind of small, so you can go fast; I'm looking to replace our seeker, that's what I meant. Not that you aren't.. Er.. handsome? But I meant you have the perfect seeker build and I am looking for one of those. A Seeker."

"Please stop." I mumbled, shrinking down into my seat and trying to force my face to stop blushing by sheer force of will. Needless to say, it wasn't working and Sirius was not helping at all with the way he continued to laugh.

"Oh Merlin, Prongs, that was great. Keep going." Sirius said, alternating between clutching his stomach and clapping his hands together.

"Shove off, git." James snapped back without any heat, a smile threatening its way onto his face. Shaking my head at the two of them, I picked up my book without another word and flipped to the page I had been reading before they had come into my compartment.

"So, want to try out for Seeker?" James asked after the compartment was silent for almost an entire minute. This caused Sirius to laugh again and I looked up from the book, raising an eyebrow and taking in the hopeful expression on James' face.

"You've never even seen me fly. I could be terrible." I pointed out, thinking about how I could get out of this. I wasn't terrible, I had absolutely flown after I got out of the hospital; it was one of the first things I did and it was amazing. I wasn't sure if I wanted to do that with other people in the air, trying to find a ball the size of a golf ball that flew around at incredible speeds, with members of the opposite team trying to maim me. I wasn't sure about all of that.

"That's what tryouts are for." James replied breezily, dismissing my admittedly pathetic excuse.

"I may not even be in Gryffindor. Technically, I have a twenty five percent chance of being in there. Which means a seventy five percent chance of not." I said, scrambling to think of another reason because I knew he would just dismiss that one.

"Okay, fine." James said, making my eyes widen in surprise at how easily I had won that- "If you get into Gryffindor, you have to try out. Padfoot, let's go, Moony and Wormtail are probably waiting for us."

"Yeah, yeah." Sirius said, waving James off even as he stood up and stretched a little bit. While he stretched, his shirt rose up, exposing a sliver of tanned and defined abdominal muscle. Oh fuck.

"Bu-but I never-" I started to say, tearing my eyes away from Sirius so that I could argue with James about not trying out for Quidditch.

"See you, Jasper! Tryouts will be the second saturday down on the pitch, I'll post it on our bulletin and remind you though so don't worry." James called over his shoulder as he walked out of the room. Sirius gave me a smirk as he followed his friend, closing the compartment door behind him and leaving me in absolute silence.

' _Well.. that couldn't have gone better'_ I thought sarcastically, picking my book back up and rereading the page to remember where I was. I put the odd exchange with one half of the marauders out of my mind, only taking a break from reading when we got close enough to Hogwarts that I had to change into my uniform. Everything was black, colors not being assigned until I get a house, so when they train pulled into the station at Hogsmeade I jumped off of it with my trunk in tow. It was easy spotting Hagrid in the crowd, he was the man with a bushy black beard towering over everyone calling out for all of the first years. Resigning myself to the inevitable, I lumbered over to where he was and stood next to him.

"Ah, 'ello there. Me names Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper o' keys and Grounds at Hogwarts. Ye must be Jasper, righ'?" Hagrid asked, smiling at me through the black, curly beard. Hagrid was obviously a gentle giant (pun intended) because he had the warmest eyes I had seen on someone in years. There was something very comforting about him despite the fact that he was three times my size, so I replied that I was indeed Jasper and we had a little bit of small talk while waiting for the first years. After everyone lined up, we got into the boats and a collective gasp was heard as the young children caught their first glimpse of Hogwarts. I would be lying if I said my breath didn't catch in my throat. It was honestly one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen; The castle stood, proudly outlined against the night sky with the moon hanging above it, and had candlelight pouring out of the windows which gave it a cheerful vibe. It was picturesque.

When the boats pulled to a stop and we all got out safely, Hagrid led us up to the Entrance Hall where Professor McGonagall was waiting. I was at the head of the group, some of the first years were using me as a shield basically, and I smiled warmly at her. She returned the gesture with a smile of her own and a nod of her head.

"You will wait here until I come back to get you, and then we will begin the sorting. The sorting will dictate what house you belong to; Your house will be like your family while you are here at Hogwarts. Do things worthy of recognition, you earn your house points; do things you shouldn't, and points will be deducted. There are four Houses: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. Each house has it's own admirable qualities and there have been famous witches and wizards come from them all." Professor McGonagall said, looking over the nervous crowd of first years with an ease that spoke of how often she did this - every year, that is. "Now, wait here and I will be back to fetch you."

"What do you think we have to do to be sorted?" I heard one of the first years ask another behind me.

"I don't know." The girl replied "Ask him, I bet he knows."

I felt a hand tug on the back of my robes and just barely caught myself before I snapped at the young boy. They were just curious and nervous, I told myself, don't get angry. I turned to face the slightly pudgy boy with freckles and he gulped a little bit, before summoning whatever amount of bravery he had and asking me if I knew what the sorting involved.

"You have to fight a troll." I deadpanned, fighting down the urge to laugh at how pale his face got after I said it. I heard a throat clear behind me and I turned to find McGonagall giving me a seriously disappointed gaze. Ah shit, I haven't been here five minutes and I've already- is that a smile trying to fight its way onto her face? It definitely is. She thinks I'm funny. I shrugged, smiling whimsically at her in return, and she shook her head before clearing her throat and announcing that they were ready for us.

We walked in double filed lines between the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor tables. I was a step behind McGonagall and when people noticed me, which wasn't hard considering I was at least a foot taller than most of these kids, whispers broke out across the hall.

 _Well,_ I thought, scowling a little bit at the gossip that was Hogwarts. _How considerate of them. Not like I'm nervous or anything._

We finally made it to the front of the room, where the Sorting Hat was resting on a stool, and Dumbledore stood for a moment, making the room instantly quiet. He gazed out over all of the tables and all of us gathered in front of the teachers table, his eyes stopping on me for a second, before clearing his throat and speaking.

"When your name is called, please step forward and allow the hat to be placed on your head. It will call out what house you are in and you should immediately go to join your new housemates." Dumbledore said, still scanning on the nervous new faces before settling on me once again. "As some of you may have already noticed, we have a transfer student for the first time in a long time. Whatever house he joins, he will be a sixth year this year, so please be kind and welcome him the best you can. Professor McGonagall?"

"We'll start with you." Professor McGonagall said lowly to me, approaching the front of the room and turning to face us before unrolling a scroll that most likely had all of the names on it. "Jasper Tatham."

I walked up to the stool at a casual place, turning to face the multitude of eyes on me and slipping the hat over my head. Thankfully, it covered my eyes, so I didn't have to worry about watching all of them watch me. That was when the hat began speaking to me, which startled me even though I knew it was going to happen.

' _Well, well. This is interesting. From a future, are we? Most interesting.'_ The Sorting Hat said, chuckling a little bit inside of my head. _'And thinking about changing things, hmm?'_

' _Thinking about it.'_ I replied cautiously, wondering if he would tell Dumbledore my secrets.

' _Not to worry, I won't tell anyone what's going on in your head. Now, where to sort you..'_ the Sorting Hat said, mumbling a little as he considered. _'You're loyal, but not kind enough for Hufflepuff. Clever, but I don't think you have the ambition or inclination to join Slytherin.'_

I agreed with that assessment, so I didn't say anything, just waiting for him to come to a decision even though I was pretty sure it would be Ravenclaw.

' _You're intelligent and studious enough for Ravenclaw, no doubt about that. You are brave though, considering what you've overcome in the last year.'_ the Hat said, seeming to mull it over in silence for a moment. It felt like the Sorting Hat had been on my head forever and the idea was only cemented in my head when I heard people talking none too quietly in the great hall about how long it was taking. _'Yes, I think I've got it. Better be..'_

"Gryffindor!" the Sorting Hat called out loud, causing the table full of students wearing red and gold to burst into applause as I placed the hat delicately back on the stool. I was more nervous now that I had been sorted into Gryffindor because I had never truly thought it would happen. So, now I'm sharing a dorm room with three animagi and a werewolf who don't know that I not only know some of their biggest secrets but also their future as well. Joy. As I was freaking out, I saw James waving me over with a smile on his face, and sitting beside him was the shocked, rather pale face, of Remus Lupin. Who honestly looked kind of terrified, although I wasn't sure why.. Oh. It was because I was going to be living with them and he's afraid I'll find out their secret; which could mean Azkaban for the three animagi and hell for the young werewolf if I exposed them. I needed to do something about easing that worry sometime soon.

"Told you that you'd be in Gryffindor!" James said, clapping me on the back rather hard. I grinned back at him, pretending I didn't notice Remus's withdrawn look or the concerned look Sirius was directing towards him. It was a relatively easy meal, I asked a couple of questions about classes and got introduced to Remus and Peter, and pretty soon it was time to head up to the dorm and pass out until classes started the next morning. Knowing that the four would most likely want to talk, especially with how cagey Remus was being, I bid them all goodnight and closed the curtains around my bed. Thankfully, with all of the excitement of the day, I was really exhausted so I fell asleep easily and decided to think about a plan to deal with Remus in the morning if he was still being strange.

 **A/n: Okay, so that was a long chapter! Review and let me know what you thought, any input is awesome input! I know the end was kind of sudden, but I'll go more into detail about Remus and Peter on the next chapter as well as introduce a couple more people. Thanks, as always, for reading!**


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

I was the first one to wake up, and I credited that to the fact that I was the first one asleep, so I went through my normal stretches before taking a shower and getting dressed in my uniform. The dormitory was exactly as I had always imagine, with the five beds spread evenly throughout the room with a small table for each occupant in between them. There was a bathroom connected to the circular room which had two toilet stalls, a shower, and two mirrors inside of it. I wondered, briefly, why there were only two sets of toilets and mirrors before guessing it was because it was unlikely that we would all be using them at the same time. I took a pretty quick shower and went to the mirror to brush my teeth after I was clean. I wiped the steam off the mirror and looked at my reflection seriously; my dark blue eyes, my wet blonde hair that almost looked brown in its current state, and the still slightly unfamiliar bone structure of my face. I made a habit to look in the mirror every morning to reassure myself that this was real, this was me now, and ingrain my own appearance into my head. Sometimes it was easy to think of myself as the dark haired man with burn scars on my face I had been in my past life.

By the time I was exiting the bathroom, my other roommates were beginning to wake up. Well, at least Remus was up and brushed against my shoulder with a quiet good morning as he entered the bathroom and James was blearily reaching into his trunk to grab his school uniform. Peter's curtain was still drawn around his bed and Sirius was sprawled out still asleep across his own mattress, bare chested and with his pajama pants slung low on his hips. I averted my eyes from him quickly as I felt a flush warm my cheeks; He was obviously confident in his body and had a good reason to be. Pale skin, defined chest and abdominal muscles, with a thin patch of hair that started at his belly button and disappeared into his pants. I left the room pretty quickly after grabbing my bag with the books I needed for my classes, hoping no one had noticed my lapse in judgement, and made my way down the spiral staircase made of stone to the common room. I set my bag down on the floor and cracked open our Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook, reading the chapter on counter-curses, and not long after I had sat down I felt someone sit next to me. I finished the paragraph I was on and looked up, expecting to see on of the boys I now shared the dorm with, but was surprised when I saw a red haired girl with bright green eyes looking at me instead.

"Hi, I'm Lily. Lily Evans." She introduced herself, holding out her hand for me to take, which I did and shook firmly.

"Jasper Tatham, it's a pleasure." I replied, smiling hesitantly at her. Lily must have seen the unsure expression on my face, which reminded me that I needed to get better at hiding my emotions instead of being an open book, because she explained her presence.

"I'm a Gryffindor prefect and I figured you didn't know the way to the Great Hall yet, so I thought I could show you the way there so we could eat breakfast before classes. I'm an early riser as well." Lily explained, a comforting smile on her face that set me at ease.

"That would be perfect, thanks." I agreed, putting my book back into its proper place in my bag and standing up. "I thought I was going to have to wait and follow one of my new dorm mates."

"I'm happy to help." Lily said, waving my thanks away. "How do you like them so far? Are they treating you alright?"

"I suppose, they are a little distant. I can't blame them though, they've lived with each other for five years and now a 'stranger' is intruding on 'their territory'." I said as we walked out of the portrait hole and into the seventh floor corridor.

"They are really close." Lily said, nodding her head. "Remus is absolutely the most polite out of the lot of them, Peter is pretty shy, Black is cocky, and Potter can be insufferable but that is your room just as much as it is theirs, so don't be intimidated."

I raised an eyebrow at the thorough description of my roommates, I had been wondering if Lily had started to get along with them yet because I couldn't remember exactly when she had stopped hating James. I know this was after she and Severus were no longer friends, but she had stopped hating him when he became Head Boy, I think?

"I'm not so easily intimidated." I reassured her, smiling pleasantly as we made our way down the moving staircases. I tried to map out where we were going as we walked, but Hogwarts was huge, and I knew it would take a couple of weeks before I really got the hang of it. I told Lily as much and she laughed, telling me that it had taken her a month as a first year before she quit getting lost, but said she would help when she could. The two of us sat down at the Gryffindor table for breakfast, accepting our schedules from McGonagall on the way, and after reading our own, I silently held out my copy for her to take and chuckled when I saw her doing the same already. We were going to get along just fine, I think.

"Oh, we have Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, and Defense together. You have Care of Magical Creatures when I have Arithmancy, and then Herbology when I have Introduction to Healing." Lily commented, seeming satisfied.

"You want to be a Healer, then?" I asked, curious because the books had never dived into what Harry's parents careers were or would have been.

"Yes, I'm muggleborn and it blew my mind the first time I found out a broken bone could heal in minutes when it took weeks in the muggle world. I've wanted to be a Healer ever since." Lily explained, her eyes lighting up at the choice of topic. "What about you?"

"Auror." I replied nonchalantly, and tilted my head in curiosity when I saw the flash of surprise on her face. "Is that surprising?"

"I suppose not, it's an honorable career choice." Lily said, an unsure look on her face.

"You can be honest, I won't take offense." I told her reassuringly, smiling placatingly at her.

"Well, it's just.. You're rather small?" Lily said questioningly, before looking like she wanted to take it back as soon as the words left her mouth. "I mean, compared to most of the other boys who want to become Aurors, you know? Not that size really matters, but it's just they usually have a certain rough and tumble way about them that you don't have. Not that it's a bad thing, but a lot of them are kind of over confident or full of bluster. You don't seem..like that. I'm just going to quit talking now."

I laughed, causing Lily's face to match her hair, and patted her on the back reassuringly. "It's okay, I think I know what you mean and I'll take it as the compliment it was intended as."

"Oh, good." Lily said, looking relieved and hesitantly smiling at me as she filled her plate. "So what's your favorite subject?"

"Defense." I replied, returning her smile with one of my own. "Yours?"

"I guess that was a no brainer considering your career choice, wasn't it?" Lily said wryly "Mine is probably a tie between Potions and Charms."

Remembering that Lily was allegedly brilliant at Potions, I internally did a cheer because it was the subject I had struggled the most with during my self study over the last few months. "I'm rubbish at Potions, so at least now I have a study partner!"

"Absolutely." Lily replied, laughing and smiling warmly at me. "So, what school did you transfer from?"

"I was homeschooled." I told her, carefully taking any emotion off of my face. I did not want to have the awkward my parents are dead conversation over breakfast, when I had just met someone no less. "After my O.W.L.s, it was more pragmatic for me to come to Hogwarts for my last two years because of unforeseen circumstances."

"Homeschooled?" Lily asked, surprise in her voice "That is interesting. Are both of your parents magic, then?"

"Yes." I replied shortly before moving to change the subject. "So who is your favorite teacher?"

"Professor Flitwick, I think." Lily said, thinking the question over and not commenting on my rather obvious subject change. "Slughorn is a brilliant teacher, he is who teaches potions, but he shows a lot of.. Favoritism that makes me uncomfortable sometimes."

"Flitwick teaches charms, I presume?" I asked, eating some of the eggs on my plate. The table was quickly filling up with more and more students as we spoke, so I knew it must be getting close to time for classes to begin.

"Oh, yes!" Lily said, brightening at the mention of the teacher. "He's brilliant. Most of the teachers at Hogwarts are, really. McGonagall is strict but fair and more than competent, Sprout is kind but can be stern when she needs to be, and Slughorn is friendly, but shows a lot of favoritism, like I said."

"Dumbledore lets him get away with that?" I asked curiously, I had always wondered how Dumbledore reacted to the obvious favoritism Slughorn showed but then again, he had never done anything against Snape for doing the same thing, so I guess he ignored it unless it was serious.

"Well, he really just goes above and beyond for some students while he treats the rest like any other teacher would." Lily explained, taking a sip of what must have been pumpkin juice. "He had a lot of connections, like old student's of his, so it doesn't hurt for him to introduce you to people. Especially when some of the people with two magical parents have an advantage of knowing people in the ministry or in other fields, you know?"

"That makes sense." I said slowly, thinking it over. It honestly did kind of make sense, he wasn't doing anything wrong per se, but I had always hated how the man exploited talent. That must have been the Slytherin in him though. "What about the Defense teacher, do you know them?"

"We get a new one every year." Lily said, lowering her voice a little bit. "Some people say the job is cursed, because no one has held the position for more than a year before."

"Maybe it is." I mused, wondering if their were any curses that could work like that. Magic in this world seemed far too straightforward for that, but I had barely scraped the top of magic, so who was I to judge?

"Either way, they weren't here last night and Dumbledore didn't introduce one, so I'm not sure what they'll do for lessons. Maybe they just don't like crowds. It's a bit of a mystery." Lily said, shrugging before letting out a groan. "Aw, not now."

"Hey Evans!" I heard James shout as he, along with my three other roommates, walked down the aisle to where we were sitting and clapped me on the shoulder. "I see you met our new dorm buddy, Jasper."

"Yes, we were having a nice breakfast until I saw you and lost my appetite, Potter." Lily said coldly, barely acknowledging him.

"Are you still mad about yesterday, Evans?" James asked, looking a little put out at the dismissal.

Lily ignored him, and seeing the annoyed expression on his face, I could tell it bothered him. The four boys all took up seats around us and I glanced up from my plate to see Remus looking at me with a smile on his face.

"Hello, I'm Remus. Sorry I didn't really get a chance to introduce myself last night, I was feeling a bit under the weather." Remus said, reaching over the table to shake my hand. I returned the gesture, flashing my teeth at him.

"Are you feeling better?" I asked him, mentally going over the last few nights in my head. I think the Full Moon was two days ago, so no wonder he wasn't feeling all that great, but he looked better than he had last night. I could see pale scars on his face, barely noticeable unless the light hit them just right, and there were small bags under his eyes. His hair was a tawny color and he had very warm, amber eyes; If i hadn't already known, I would never expect the polite, kind man in front of me to be a werewolf. That just goes to show how incorrect stereotypes really are.

"Much, thank you." Remus said, not quite meeting my gaze as he put some food on his plate. "It happens often enough, weak immune system."

That was clever of him; Already laying the groundwork for how he was going to have to explain his disappearances and how he looks around the time of the full moon. It must really suck to have to constantly be thinking of excuses, reasons, and thinking how to redirect people's attention away from him. It also made sense that two of his friends were so loud; they drew the attention off of him, and I'm not sure if that was planned or a lucky coincidence but it was a good tactic nonetheless.

"I'm sorry, I hate being sick." I said, grimacing as I played along. I would figure out how to let him know I couldn't give a damn what he or his friends did during the full moon as long as they didn't come near me later. For now, I'd just play along.

"You should eat more, Remus." Sirius said, putting a few strips of bacon on his plate more than he had already. Remus shot him an annoyed look, which Sirius just shrugged off, but I could see that under the annoyance was a fond exasperation. This was most likely a common occurrence.

"So, how did you two meet?" Remus asked, gesturing to Lily, who was still pointedly ignoring James and sending me somewhat pleading looks. I honestly didn't know what to say to make him stop, so I kind of just shrugged helplessly.

"She showed me the way to the Great Hall this morning and we just got to talking." I said, shrugging nonchalantly. I saw James narrow his eyes a little at me but I pretended like I didn't see it.

Remus looked like he was about to say something, but Lily got up and started to walk away down the aisle, saying that she would see me in class. I looked down at her half-finished food, then at her receding back, before sighing and grabbing four muffins, putting them in napkins, and telling the other people sitting around me I would see them in class as well. I hurried to catch up to Lily, unwilling to get lost in the castle on a hunt for her, and saw her turning the corner just as I exited the Great Hall. I rushed down the corridor and when I turned the corner, I shouted her name, making her freeze. She turned to look at me, surprise and confusion on her face as I caught up to her.

"Jeez, I thought you were going to show me my first class." I said jokingly, handing her two of the muffins and continuing to walk at a much more sedate pace than the one she had set as she stormed away.

"Sorry." Lily said automatically, dumbstruck as she took the muffins. "It's just.. Potter. I can't stand the twat."

"Sorry." I said, being honest

"I'm surprised you came after me." Lily admitted, breaking off a piece of the muffin. "We just met and I know they're your roommates, they could have shown you to class."

"Yeah, well, fives a crowd." I said dismissively, ignoring the water in the corner of her eyes. "Besides, the way that girl a couple seats down was eating? It was about to make me lose my appetite."

"Thanks.. For the muffins." Lily said, smiling at me, and if it was a little watery.. Well, I wasn't going to say anything about it. We walked in amicable silence and she unconsciously navigated us through Hogwarts corridors towards our Charms class. We were the first ones there so we talked about different charms that we knew, which mostly meant I pestered her about what they learned last year to make sure I was caught up, but she seemed happy enough to answer all of my questions.

Soon, the rest of the class filtered into the room, usually in pairs or groups, and Flitwick climbed onto the stack of books that was behind his podium in order to address the incoming class of sixth years. The class was made up of Hufflepuff and Gryffindor students, and the Marauders were one of the last groups of people to enter the room. I waved in acknowledgement when I saw Remus do the same, but James gave me a dirty look and whispered something to Remus. Peter was shuffling behind the other three so I couldn't really see him and Sirius wasn't looking in my direction at all; I'm sure my face must have shown my confusion because Remus just kind of shrugged helplessly and followed his friends to a table a few away from Lily and mine.

"Welcome, Sixth Years!" Flitwick's almost squeaky voice said, easily carrying his words around the room. I decided to worry about James' one hundred and eighty degree personality change later and faced forward to pay attention to the lesson. "Now, as I'm sure you all will be told in all of your classes, this year we will be moving on to non-verbal spells. Now, does anyone know the advantages of non-verbal spells?"

Lily's hand rose instantly, as well as a couple of the other students in the class, so I put my own up as well. I had known non-verbal spells were coming up this year thanks to the books, so right from the beginning of my studying after I was released from the hospital, I was determined to do all of my magic without uttering a sound. It had been frustrating, most likely took twice as long to learn the spells, but I had gotten the hang of it eventually and could do so with ease now. Some magic would always be stronger if you cast it verbally, but a lot of that depended on the wizard or with casting the magic in the first place.

"Ah, Mr. Tatham. Always good to see a new face in my class. Would you care to tell us what the advantage of non-verbal magic is?" Professor Flitwick asked, pointing towards me with an expectant look on his face.

I cleared my throat quietly, I had always hated speaking in front of a group of people even if I did know the correct answer, and said the answer clearly. "Your adversary has no warning what kind of magic you are about to perform, so you have a split-second advantage, Professor."

"Corect! And are there any disadvantages?" Professor Flitwick asked me

"Some magic may be less effective or less powerful if cast non-verbally." I answered, thinking for a moment before adding the last part. "Although, that depends a lot on the wizard or witch who is doing the casting. In contrast, there are some spells where it is more effective and easier to cast if done non-verbally. There are even some spells that aren't effective at all if cast out loud."

"Excellent, Mr. Tatham! Ten points to Gryffindor." Professor Flitwick said, beaming at me. "Mr. Tatham is entirely correct. So, to prepare you all, from now on all of the spells you cast in my classroom will be non-verbal unless I say otherwise. Now, there is a great deal of concentration required.."

I tuned Flitwick out as he explained how to cast non-verbal magic, casting my eyes around the room to see if there was anyone I recognized. Considering I only knew a few of the people who would even be alive in this time period, I should not have been as disappointed as I was, but I felt in nonetheless. There was one Hufflepuff boy who I sort of recognized and it took a moment for it to click, but he looked a bit like Cedric Diggory had been described. I supposed it could have been his father - was it Anos? Aman? I knew it was something like that but neither of those quite clicked. I decided to pursue it later and snapped my attention back to Professor Flitwick, who told us to first do the Tickling Charm non-verbally and if we succeeded, to move on to the summoning charm. Lily paired off with me and I allowed her to attempt first, gesturing for her to go ahead. Lily narrowed her eyes and did the proper wand motion, and besides a strange fluttery feeling in my stomach, I didn't feel anything. She was looking at me hopefully and I shook my head.

"I felt something but I don't think it was strong enough." I told her, causing her expression to fall for a moment before a determined one came over her face. She tried three more times, each time causing me to feel a fluttering (I would compare to having butterflies in your stomach, at the risk of sounding cliche) in my stomach.

"Alright, you go ahead." Lily said, lowering her wand in order to give me a chance and to take a break. I lifted my wand and concentrated, flourishing my wand in the correct movement.

' _Rictusempra'_ I thought, aiming at Lily directly. Almost instantly she busted out in giggles, clutching her side and gaining the attention of Professor Flitwick, who shot me an approving look. I cast the counter quickly, ending her giggling fit, and she beamed at me.

"Your first try!" Lily congratulated me, leaning forward as I mumbled something. "What was that?"

"I've been practicing nonverbal spell work for awhile." I said, pointedly not looking at her. I was hoping she wouldn't be one of those people who are extraordinarily competitive because I knew Charms was one of her best subjects and my success was only because of how much I had practiced and the fact that the 'old Jasper' had the basics down very well.

"Thats brilliant! You can help me then!" Lily said, beaming a little, and I smiled back mostly in relief. She didn't seem mad or jealous, merely happy that I had succeeded. I had nothing to be worried about at all where she was concerned.

We spent the rest of the class working on the non-verbal spellwork. I gave tips that had helped me a lot when I was first starting to use them, such as envisioning the words and the reaction I wanted in my mind as I cast the spell as well as saying them in my head, and by the end of the course we had both moved on to the summoning charm. I had a little trouble at first, only getting Lily's quill to wiggle on her desk, but I had gotten it to successfully come to me by the end of the lesson and Lily had managed as well. As the bell rang to signal our next class, I packed my books up and stood up from my desk. As Lily and I headed out the doors, Remus approached us and asked Lily about something to do with Prefect duties. The three of us walked down the hall, but I was grabbed on my shoulder a little roughly and dragged back a little ways from the two as they continued to walk down the hall with one another.

I followed the hand on my shoulder up to the body it was attached too, seeing a smiling Sirius Black on the end of it. I looked to my other side and saw James, with his hazel eyes narrowed behind his glasses, staring me down. Glancing at where Lily hadn't noticed my absence yet, I had to give them credit for sending Remus in as a distraction; They had obviously wanted to talk to me alone and using Lily's responsibilities as a distraction was easy enough when another prefect approached her.

"May I help you?" I asked politely, lifting Sirius's hand off of my shoulder as I raised a questioning eyebrow at the two boys in front of me.

"What's with you being all buddy buddy with Lily all of a sudden?" James asked, sounding rather aggressive for- oh. I was officially an idiot. I was walking around with the girl that James was obsessed with, going after her when she was upset and pairing up with her during Charms. I looked like a right prat most likely, the new guy trying to woo the pretty girl he had been chasing for years.

"She seemed nice enough and offered to show me around to my classes." I said slowly, wondering how I was going to get through this conversation without blowing my secret or ending up on his bad side. "Is something wrong with her?"

"No!" James exclaimed vehemently, shaking his head to empathize his point. "It's just.. I just.. You can't.. What I mean is that, you are.."

"Look, mate. James has a thing for Evans; everyone knows it. He doesn't want you around her and as our new roommate, you should respect that, okay?" Sirius butted in, interrupting James rambling.

"Okay.." I said, looking between them. "I mean, I'm not interested in Lily like that; I have a very specific type and she isn't it. I'm pretty sure she just wants to be friends, and wouldn't that be good for you?"

"What do you mean?" James asked suspiciously, eyes still narrowed at me but seeming to consider my words at least.

"Well, if I'm friends with Lily, I can talk you up. Tell her all the good stuff about you she either doesn't get to see or blatantly ignores, right?" I said, still glancing between the two as we walked to Transfiguration. "I promise I wouldn't dream of dating her or anything."

"Well, what's wrong with Lily that you don't want to date her?" James asked, sounding honest to god offended, and I shared a weird look with Sirius for a moment. Wow, he really was head over heels for her.

"Nothing, she's just not my type." I replied, looking at him confidently. "Look, this way you get insider information. Plus imagine how bad it would look if during last class I was speaking with her and on my way to being friends, and only friends, with her and then the three of us arrive at Transfiguration together and suddenly I'm giving her the cold shoulder. What would she think?"

"That I told you not to be friends with her." James said, sounding defeated and groaning while he ruffled his hair. "Oh, man."

"Look, I won't mention it." I promised, smiling at him reassuringly. "I'll even try to talk you up, say that I dropped my books and you helped me or something. You have my word I will not do anything to neither prompt nor encourage her to have feelings for anyone other than you."

"Why?" Sirius asked, suspicion laced in his tone. "You don't know either of them. Why would you promise something like that?"

"I-" I started, pausing for a moment as I saw their expectant faces. I couldn't very well say because I know the future and I know you guys end up together, so I don't mind helping that along, could I? So I went for the next best thing. "I can tell you genuinely like her, not because of her looks, but because of her. So I'll help, but if for some reason I turn out to be wrong and it wasn't meant to be, I just won't get involved in her love life at all. I'm not going to spy on her for you and I'm not going to try and trick her or lie to her in order for you to get a shot. I'll be a friend to both of you and if she asks my opinion, I'll say I think you would be good together. Is that enough?"

"Yeah, I guess so." James said, clearly thinking it over. "So, if not Lily, what is your type?"

"Ah, don't worry about it." I said evasively, feeling my face heat up. I did notice the look exchanged between James and Sirius, so I doubt that would be the end of it, but luckily we had just arrived to Transfiguration. Internally, I groaned because we were two minutes late and that was not the best way to get on not only who was sure to be one of my most strict professors, but also my Head of House.

"Potter, Black, Tatham. You're late." McGonagall said, eyeing us sternly from behind her desk at the front of the classroom.

"That was my fault, Professor." I chimed in before either of the two other boys could, making sure I put on my most repentant face. "My books split at the end of Charms, and then I got lost, but luckily these two found me wandering the hallway and had the same class I did."

McGonagall eyed the three of us, and I panicked for a moment because it looked like she had a knowing look in her eyes, but she waved us to sit down. "Very well, Mr. Tatham. I will be lenient because it is your first day, but I do not accept tardiness to my class. You will do well to remember that."

"Yes, Professor McGonagall." I said, relieved, and took the open seat next to Lily. This class was a mix of Ravenclaws and Gryffindors. McGonagall gave us a speech that was pretty similar in structure to what Professor Flitwick had said, at least about Non-verbal spells, and then proceeded to inform us that the next two years would be filled with some of the most challenging work we had ever faced, especially in Transfiguration.

We worked independently, attempting to conjure birds with our wands without saying the spell out loud. Transfiguration was a tricky subject for me and I'm not sure why, which was extraordinarily frustrating because it was arguably one of the coolest branches of magic. I knew some of my classmates around me were cheating, whispering the spell under their breath, but I refused to do so on principle. The ones who had not either succeeded or cheated, had looks of intense concentration on their face; some of them were making faces as though they were holding their breath under water or had to go to the bathroom extremely bad. While I didn't show outward signs like that, besides my eyes narrowing in concentration, I left the class unable to cast the spell wordlessly. Lily had managed to do it in the last five minutes and we were comparing results on the way to the Great Hall for Lunch.

"So did Potter and Black actually help you find the classroom?" Lily asked suddenly as we descended the stairs that led to the Great Hall. "I'm sorry I left, I was talking with Remus about patrols and I just got distracted I guess."

"It's fine, James and Sirius were very helpful." I said, looking at her out of the corner of my eye. "Why don't you like James, anyway?"

"He's so arrogant, always doing whatever he pleases and picking on people weaker than him." Lily said, her tone turning venomous at the mention of James Potter. "He and Black roam around the castle thinking they are better than everyone else. It's just infuriating, and Potter has been asking me to go on a date with him for two years in the most embarrassing ways."

"Well, maybe he likes you." I suggested casually

"He might have, once, but now I think it's just a habit he has to annoy me and because I'm one of the only girls who don't fawn all over the two of them" Lily said "I wouldn't ever go on a date with that toe rag. Especially not after last year."

"What happened last year?" I asked, although I knew she must have been talking about the memory her future son would see in Snape's pensieve.

"I honestly don't want to talk about it." Lily said, tucking some of her red hair behind her ear. "I just want to move forward and focus on my career."

"I can understand that." I agreed, resigning to bring up the discussion again another time. I still was not sure if I should effect the time line now or if I should let things unfold as they should until Harry starts his time at Hogwarts. After meeting them though, and obviously agreeing to be both of their friends as impulsive as it had been, could I just let Lily and James die and leave Harry an orphan when I could have done something about it? I wasn't sure. I would absolutely have to be careful and weigh the options and risks of possible outcomes from meddling in the plot. Lunch was a quiet affair, James didn't come over and bother Lily, whom I was sitting with, so she ate in peace. We discussed our next class, Double Potions, and she deflated a little bit when she saw that we were going to have it with the Slytherins.

"Does Slughorn favor his own house that blatantly?" I asked, raising my eyebrow at the defeated expression on her face.

"No, it's not that." Lily said, looking behind my shoulder at the Slytherin table. I think I had a pretty good idea of who she was looking for, and trying to avoid, but I wanted her to tell me on her own. "I'm just trying to avoid someone."

"Oh." I replied, not forcing the topic. Lily was a little more reserved throughout the rest of lunch, admirably trying to cover the dread she felt at confronting her childhood friend but overall failing. I didn't say anything, mostly because it wouldn't have done any good to have, and so after we finished eating we headed down to the dungeons together.

The dungeons were definitely not someplace I would prefer to have my dormitories in. I knew that the Slytherin dorms were under the black lake, which would've been kind of cool, but it was darker her than anywhere else in the castle. There were the same amount of torches lighting the path, so it wasn't as though you couldn't see, but without the windows and natural light it just felt smaller and significantly less cheerful. No wonder the Slytherins were a surly bunch.

Lily and I got to class a little ahead of schedule, even before Slughorn had arrived, so we sat outside of the door to his classroom. I took my wand out and tried doing the _Avis_ spell from Transfiguration. Lily was reading some book, and I had just tried the spell for the fifth time in a row, when a shadow fell over us and someone cleared their throat.

"You should try flicking the wand a little harder to the left." a boy's voice said, and before I even looked to see who it was, I attempted the spell again with his advice. To my surprise, it worked, which made my face light up when I saw two conjured birds flying around just above my head. I looked up to thank my mysterious source of information and froze at the look on Lily's face. She looked shocked, angry, sad, and upset all in the same breath. There was only one person I didn't already know who could probably make my new friend look like that, and turning my head a little confirmed my suspicions.

Severus Snape was lanky, pale, and had stick straight hair that was admittedly a little greasy. His nose was just a little bit too big for his face and his eyes were like two black stones, hard and unreadable. Besides the hair and his nose, he was honestly kind of attractive in a nerdy way. He wasn't my type, I didn't like my guys so skinny or pale, but I knew quite a few people from my old world who would've appreciated the almost gothic look he had going on.

"Sev, I told you I don't want to talk to you anymore." Lily said, her voice conflicted but not wavering in the slightest.

"Lily, please-" Snape started to say, pleading

"I heard enough last year, Snape." Lily spat, making Snape's face look as though she had just slapped him. I saw his eyes widen before they narrowed, his nostrils flaring in anger.

"So, who is this?" Snape asked snidely, gesturing to me. "You ditched me, found a new best friend? Or are you fucking him?"

Lily gasped, looking at Snape as though she couldn't believe what he had just said. Honestly, it looked like Snape couldn't believe that he had just said what he did. I kept my expression carefully neutral, not sure whether or not Lily would appreciate me stepping in or not, but my hand did clench a little tighter around my wand as I heard him insult my new friend. Lily slammed her book shut, face turning fire engine red and was about to open her mouth to respond, when a fat man who resembled a walrus with a bushy mustache came bustling down the corridor and called out to them both.

"Ah, Lily, Severus; good to see my two most promising potion students. Had good summers, I expect?" Professor Horace Slughorn said, coming between the two of them in order to reach the door and unlock it, completely oblivious to the tension in the corridor.

"Yes, Professor." They both mumbled, under their breath as first Snape and Lily followed the man into his classroom. I let out a breathe I hadn't realized I had been holding and followed suit, pulling the chair out next to Lily so I could take a seat.

"Oh, and who is this?" Professor Slughorn asked after he set some paperwork on his desk and turned to face me with a curious look on his face. "I don't believe I've seen you before."

"My name is Jasper Tatham, sir, I'm a transfer this year." I introduced myself

"Ah, yes, of course. Excellent O.W.L. scores you had, Mr. Tatham." Slughorn beamed, looking me over carefully with an interested gleam in his eyes. " Tatham, ey? Any relation to Marie Ann Tatham?"

"Not that I know of, sir." I replied, resisting the urge to roll my eyes.

"Ah, well nevermind then. Brilliant witch, she was." Slughorn commented, looking back over the few potions he had on his desk. "Still, with your grades, I expect we will see great things from you yet!"

"Thank you, Professor." I responded stoically, stopped from having to make further small talk by the entrance of my fellow students. Sirius, James, and Remus were all three in this class and the fact that Snape was as well was probably not good. Hopefully, things wouldn't get to bad, but I could tell from the expression on Snape's face, like he had just sucked on a lemon for an hour, that he expected it to go the same way I did. Once everyone was in their proper seats, Slughorn began the lesson much the same way that Flitwick and McGonagall had - talking about the expectations and hard work that accompanied NEWT level course work.

"Now, can anyone tell me what this potion is?" Slughorn asked, pointing to a cauldron filled to the brim. Quite a few people's hands went up, mine included, and the Slytherin Slughorn chose told him correctly after walking up to examine it that it was the Draught of Living Death.

"Very good! Two points to Slytherin. Now, what about this potion?" Slughorn asked, pointing at a fuschia colored potion set in a cauldron. Once again, pretty much the same hands went up, but Slughorn called on me this time to answer. I walked to the front of the class and looked into the cauldron, taking a whiff happily as some of my favorite things sent a jolt of pleasure into my brain.

"It is Amortentia." I told him confidently

"Correct, Mr. Tatham! Now, for five points to Gryffindor, what does it do and what does it smell like to you?" Slughorn asked

"It is the strongest love potion currently in existence; It is easy to distinguish it from other love potions because when you smell it, the things you find most attractive are what what you smell." I answered, hesitating to reveal what I found most attractive but deciding overall I would prefer the points and it wasn't like anyone could guess my sexuality from a few smells. I did flush red as I listed off the smells though. "I smell peppermint, leather, and grass."

"Very good! Five points to Gryffindor!" Slughorn said cheerily, explaining more about the potion. "Now, it doesn't actually create love, but such a strong obsession and infatuation that I would dare say it is the most dangerous potions in this room right now."

After a few more people identified the remaining potions, we were told that our partner and I (who we were sitting with) had to make any potion we would like that was a review from last year. Lily and I decided on making the Calming Draught, which was fairly complex but with two of us it ended up being pretty easy. Lily was amazing at Potions, and I wasn't as bad as she had apparently expected, but the girl didn't need the timer we had to know when to turn the flame down or how to stir. It was instinctive and gave me a deepening respect for my new friends skills. After potions, which went on without a hitch, we had the rest of the day to ourselves. Every class had assigned homework that we started on in the library as soon as we left class. Most of it was reading, and then we had to answer a few questions about what we read. Once again, the subject I struggled the most with was Transfiguration; It was complex, requiring subtle wand movements and precise timing as well as an understanding of the subject that I just lacked. Still, I finished the questions and reading within a couple of hours, and by then it was finally time for dinner. I had roast and vegetables, which was insanely good, and I was honestly glad that I didn't have to live off my own cooking or take out anymore.

The food at Hogwarts was simply amazing. I needed to make sure I went to the kitchens sometime, to not only see the infamous place but also to thank the house elves who worked there so diligently. There was a wide variety of food that fit every category and the chocolate pudding I had for dessert was the perfect consistency. The only thing I couldn't get used to was the pumpkin juice, which almost everyone drank, but I just stuck with water. The juice was sticky, honestly did taste like sweet pumpkins, and had a strange after taste that I didn't find pleasant at all.

After dinner, Lily was kind enough to walk me back up to the common room before she had to begin her patrol for that night of first and second floor of the castle. I waved her goodbye, promising to meet her in the morning and wishing her a goodnight, before heading up to my dormitory to change into my pajamas and study a little more. It was still fairly early so I had a few hours to kill before I could think about falling asleep, but I had checked out a book on Transfiguration theory in the library that I thought might help. I had just gotten through the first chapter of the book when my roommates came into the dorm, joking around and shoving one another while they talked pretty loudly. I was hard to distract though so the noise didn't bother me, not even causing me to look up from my book, but when they fell silent I got curious. All four of them were looking at me with expressions varying from surprise to confusion when I saw them.

"Uh, hi. Don't mind me." I said, waving a little and smiling hesitantly before continuing to read.

"So, uh, have you heard anything about us from anyone?" James asked sheepishly, coming a little closer to my bed as he spoke, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Not really, should I have?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, we like to play the occasional-" James started to say

"Brilliant!" Sirius interjected cheerfully

"-joke on some of our fellow students, mostly Slytherins. So, I guess what I'm wondering is, since you live with us, if we plan here like we usually do, are you going to rat us out?" James asked, sounding desperate for me not to ruin his fun.

I snorted, shaking my head, before shrugging my shoulders. "I don't care what you do. Let me know if you need help, but I won't unless it's just harmless fun."

"Yes! You're awesome!" James exclaimed, clapping me on the shoulder.

"Now that you've brought that up though, there is something I want to say to you all really quick." I said, temporarily closing my book and putting on a serious expression.

"What is it, Jasper?" Remus asked, the other boys looking almost nervous except for Sirius who seemed to not have a care in the world.

"I know you didn't ask for me to move in here and you guys aren't used to someone else intruding on your space, but for what it's worth, I hope we can be friends if not at least acquaintances." I said, looking at them as they went from puzzled or nervous to understanding. "I'm not here to tread on any toes, so anything you guys say or do in this room stays in this room. Even if I'm upset or angry, I'll hold to that, but I respect the same courtesy in response. Can we all manage that?"

The four of them agreed fairly quickly, some of the tension I hadn't realized they were carrying at all falling from their shoulders. They grouped together on the floor and quickly began to plan a welcome back prank for our house rival's and I was honestly impressed with how in detail they went. It was going to be a good two years if all of my days were like this, I decided, before my eyes shut of their own accord later that night.


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

I was the first one to wake up again and the morning pretty much exactly the same way it had the day before. I did my stretching routine, wondering if I was allowed to run in the mornings - I could see being allowed too as well as not being allowed. The only place truly big enough to run would be outside, on the grounds, but I wasn't sure what time we were allowed to go out onto the grounds. They locked the doors at night, I knew that from reading the books, but it never mentioned what time they unlocked the doors in the morning. I made a mental note to ask Lily about it when I saw her later and got up to go take a shower and brush my teeth. When I left the bathroom, Remus was once again the one who brushed past me to claim the shower first and James stubbed his toe on his trunk as he blearily tried to find wherever his glasses had fallen off his bedside table last night. Figuring it would be the friendly thing to do, I volunteered to look under his bed for him, and reached under to see if I could feel anything.

"Are you guys wizards or not?" I heard Sirius ask, causing me to cautiously removed my head from underneath James bed just as he summoned the glasses into his waiting hand. As I got out from underneath, I turned and came face to face with Sirius' pajama covered crotch. The pajamas had brooms all over them that actually flew a little bit, making one dizzy if they stared too long, and there was quite a sizeable lump directly eye level with me. I swallowed nervously, feeling my cheeks heat up instantly and my eyes traveled up from his lower half, stopping only for a second on those well formed abdominal muscles, all the way up to his face which was twisted into a victorious smirk as he held James glasses in one hand.

Once I processed that information, I stopped ogling the boy in front of me and stood up, roughly thanking him. I don't think anyone noticed the red on my cheeks because when Sirius had been holding the glasses, his eyes were looking at James, so I quickly went over to my own bed and grabbed my bag, placing it strategically to hide any embarrassing indications of my lingering excitement, and made my way downstairs. I called to the guys on my way out that I would see them in the morning and left just as Peter was getting kicked up by Sirius. I knew they had stayed up late last night, they would have had to sneak out in order to pull of the prank they had wanted, so I wasn't going to wait for them on the off chance they were late for breakfast. Not to mention, knowing Lily, she would be down soon so I could just go with her.

I opened the door to the common room and scanned it, not noticing any red heads, so I sat down and began reading the book about Transfiguration I had started yesterday. I only got through a couple of pages when Lily arrived, looking a little annoyed, and it didn't take long to figure out why she was.

"Hi, Jasper, my name is Celia Williams." A girl, who had been behind Lily, introduced herself and extended her hand towards me. I shook it politely, smiling at her, while exchanging a look with Lily that basically said 'who the hell is this?'. Lily's response face told me that I didn't want to know, but unfortunately for me, I was going to regardless. As soon as I let go of the Celia's hand she giggled in an obnoxious way that some girls thought was cute but honestly just sounded fake and ducked behind some of her long, black hair.

"Your hands are really rough." Celia said, still giggling as she fluttered her eyelashes at me. I raised an unimpressed eyebrow at her, wondering what the hell she was doing, but decided to ignore the weird behavior for now.

"Thanks, I use sandpaper as lotion." I replied sarcastically, making Lily let out a snort.

"Good one!" Celia said, smiling at me and doing that obnoxious fake giggling.

"Thanks." I said dryly, not offering any more to the conversation. "Are you ready to leave, Lily? I was hoping to get to breakfast early."

"Yeah, sure." Lily said casually, looking towards Celia. "Amy probably wanted to head down with you, we'll catch up with you later?"

"Absolutely!" Celia replied, not even looking at Lily but at me instead, before flouncing away to head back up to the girls dormitory.

"Okay, what the holy hell was that?" I asked, turning to Lily abruptly with my arms crossed.

"She wand some of the girls saw us talking yesterday and wanted to meet you." Lily said, sighing in an irritated way and already making her way towards the portrait hole. "I tried to tell them you were still trying to adjust to Hogwarts so we could avoid it, but she wouldn't take no for an answer."

"Why did she want to meet me anyway?" I asked, confused. It's not like I was famous or even from a foreign country or something cool. In my old life, people usually treated kids who came from homeschooling as socially awkward weirdo's with family issues.

"You're joking, right?" Lily asked, an incredulous expression on her face as we descended the stairs.

"No?" I replied, some of my impatience seeping through into my voice.

"She, and most of the girls in my dorm, think you're hot. Plus your new, pretty smart, and did I mention your new?" Lily said, rolling her eyes.

"I-uh-what?" I said stupidly, blinking as her words got processed.

"I mean, you are pretty fit, but they are only being weird about it because like I said, you are someone new and mysterious to them for now and because most of these guys, we saw go through puberty or they saw us go through puberty. Which, in a lot of cases, was not a pretty sight to behold." Lily explained matter of factly

"I honestly don't know what to say to that." I said in return, thinking about my reflection that I had seen only about fifteen minutes ago. I mean, I guess my blonde hair was a nice shade and went really well with my weirdly royal blue eyes, and I was in decent shape from exercise, but I hadn't really thought much beyond that. It was nice, in a way, to be told I was attractive and for that girl to want to meet me, but I had a sneaking suspicion it would get annoying rather quickly. Well, that Celia would get really annoying rather quickly, at least.

"Just please don't go out with her." Lily said, catching me off guard with the request. "I honestly can't stand her, I don't think I could be around you two if you started dating."

I snorted rather loudly, causing one of the portraits we were walking past as we made it to the fourth floor to send me a dirty look. "Don't worry, she's not my type."

"Thank Merlin for that." Lily said, letting out a breath of relief.

We made it to the Great Hall without anything else important coming up and pretty soon we were eating breakfast. I had Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology today, which was sure to be an interesting lesson, but mostly I was just glad that I was going to be able to be outside for most of the day. Lily was telling me how excited she was for her Arithmancy class, which was basically Math, when my roommates finally made it down for breakfast.

"Good morning." I greeted them, lifting my goblet of water in greeting. Remus was the only one who replied with a good morning, while James just grunted, Sirius smirked, and Peter was still asleep with his eyes open but somehow managing to walk. "What classes do you all have this morning?"

"James and I both have Arithmancy." Remus said, raising an eyebrow when Lily let out a groan of despair. Honestly, she was probably being a little dramatic.

"She has Arithmancy as well." I said, and Remus nodded in understanding. James, however, seemed as though he had just drank three cups of coffee with how awake he was suddenly.

"Lily-flower! This means we can study together!" James exclaimed cheerfully, now piling eggs and bacon onto his plate.

Then again, maybe she wasn't being as dramatic as she could be. I watched as she looked up to the ceiling, obviously asking whatever beings were out there to give her the patience to deal with James for the rest of the year. I looked at Sirius and Peter, and when they both just ignored me, I looked back to Remus, who sighed at his friend's behavior. Obviously the Marauders didn't do so well with a lack of sleep, which made me wonder how they got through Full Moon's without arousing any suspicion.

"Peter has Divination and Sirius has Care of Magical Creatures." Remus told me, making me brighten considerably. At least I knew someone in my class now, that was always better than no one.

"We have class together." I informed Sirius, to which he grinned lazily in return before continuing to load his plate up. I was going to ask if he knew who the teacher was but I was distracted by loud noises coming from the Entrance Hall. It sounded like a myriad of voices were yelling things, but it was not distinct enough to tell what they were saying until the doors were opened and a couple of Slytherin fifth years walked in.

"Your mother thinks you are so ugly, when she sees a Boggart, it turns into you!"

"You'll never be the man your mother is!"

"Your family tree must be a cactus, because everyone on it is a prick!"

"I didn't realize when I you wanted to introduce me to your father and uncle they were the same person!"

These were only some of the insults that the suits of armor were jeering at the Slytherins in their disembodied voices. Once people realized what was going on, the laughter started up and the Slytherin's instantly began glaring at the four boys who were sitting beside Lily and I. James, Peter, and Sirius all looked extraordinarily happy with themselves while Remus only had a small, satisfied smile on his face at seeing their plan come together. I stifled a snort when I caught Lily's glare, which she had shifted to me when I started to laugh. I would ask her about it later, but I had to admit it was an impressive bit of magic - and the insults they had come up with hilarious by themselves. Dumbledore stood up from his chair, wand extended, and quieted down the suits of armor with a casual wave before projecting his voice across the hall.

"Any teachers or prefects who come across the suits of armor that are insulting one of our houses students are required to make the stop if they are capable." Dumbledore said, a small frown on his face as he looked at the Marauders. "I understand these are dark times and humor is often a wonderful reprieve, but some jokes are in bad taste and this is one of them. Anyone who is aware of who has done this and has proof is encouraged to come forward. I also encourage the guilty party to come forward as well and I may be more lenient. Thank you, enjoy your breakfast and morning classes."

The Marauders had sobered up during Dumbledore's speech but it was only for show. They were slapping each other on the back as soon as we left the Great Hall. Lily was fuming, mostly at Remus because of his prefect status and James for being..alive. Lily said she would see me after class and pointedly marched away from the two Gryffindor's, determined not to talk to them during the class most likely. I would be surprised if she talked to either of them besides to yell by the end of the day to be honest. Sirius and I walked towards the front door, cutting through the courtyard to meet the rest of our class by the Forbidden Forest.

"So why do you guys hate Slytherin so much?" I asked Sirius casually as we walked along the stone path.

"Well, you nailed it the first time we talked didn't you? They're a bunch of future death eaters." Sirius said, disdain as clear as the sky above us in his voice.

"That was a joke, maybe one in poor taste, but it accurately described how I wouldn't have wanted to be in Slytherin. Don't you think it's a little harsh to target them all, though?" I asked, raising an eyebrow

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked

"Well, if they weren't evil gits before, being ostracized and antagonized by the other houses may push them into believing that they have to be that way, therefore continuing the cycle of violence." I said, stopping for a moment and gripping his arm as I spoke seriously. "I'm not saying it wasn't funny, because I think it was, but I think you should've directed it towards those who really deserve it. It's not like the future Death Eaters are exactly quiet about their opinion."

"Now you sound like Remus." Sirius complained, but from the thoughtful look on his face and the way he was quiet for the first part of our lesson, I think I may have given him something to think about.

Care of Magical Creatures was taught by Professor Kettleburn, who had unremarkable features and straight, brown hair. The most interesting thing about the man was that he only had one arm and half of one of his legs left. I vaguely remember this was the guy that Hagrid takes over for and if I remember correctly, he had a reputation for being pretty reckless so hopefully this would be a fun class. The NEWT level students in this class was a mix of all four houses, considering there hadn't been enough people who had the marks and/or the interest to pursue the subject. There were ten of us all together; Two Gryffindors, Two Ravenclaws, Five Hufflepuffs, and one Slytherin.

"Alright, gather 'round you lot." Professor Kettleburn said, gesturing for us to come to where he was sitting on a tree stump. "Now, I don't give a damn what house you're in. Leave it outside my teaching time. We are all here to learn. One of you idiot's do something wrong, I'm going to deduct points from all four houses. Okay?"

"That's not fair!" One of the Ravenclaws protested

"Sweetheart, if I wanted to be fair I would have become a judge. I don't care. Don't do anything stupid and you'll be fine." Professor Kettleburn said gruffly, and I suppressed a smile when he looked pointedly at Sirius, who gave him an innocent grin in return. "Alright, we are going into the Forest a bit. Wands out and watch eachothers backs, we aren't going far."

We travelled in relative silence, the only ones talking were the group of Hufflepuff's in the back, and it wasn't long before we came upon a paddock that had two big, black skeletal looking horses inside. They had glowing red eyes and smelled almost musty, two pairs of intelligent eyes watched us warily as we approached. I could see Professor Kettleburn doing a mental count of which of us could see them and which of us could not.

"Who knows what these creatures are?" Professor Kettleburn asked, and my hand went up into the air along with one of the Ravenclaw students.

"There's nothing there." One of the Hufflepuff boys exclaimed, looking around the paddock as though he expected a creature to pop into existence.

"If you can't see it and since you obviously don't know that it's even there, let alone what it is, then keep your mouth shut, boy." Professor Kettleburn said impatiently, looking between the Ravenclaw boy and I before finally pointing one of his fingers, he only had four, at me. "You. What's your name and what are they?"

"Jasper Tatham, Professor. They are Thestrals." I replied, making the Hufflepuff's back away.

"Why can't everyone see them?" Professor Kettleburn asked, picking up some kind of meat carcass and tossing it to the Thestrals who picked it apart in a couple of minutes.

"Only those who have seen death may look upon a Thestral." I recited a line of a book from memory, my eyes never leaving the two tall skeletal horses.

"Some of you may recognize them as the things that draw the carriages from Hogsmeade. They get a bad rep for being unlucky because of the whole death thing, but quite frankly, they are gentle creatures unless threatened." Professor Kettleburn explained, looking at us thoughtfully. The rest of the class we were supposed to draw the horse, anyone who couldn't see one had to get help from someone who could. Sirius and I paired off, working diligently and finishing the picture fifteen minutes prior to class ending. Once we had handed the picture in, Professor Kettleburn said we could leave. We walked in silence for a moment and just as I was about to ask what was wrong with Sirius, he opened his mouth instead.

"Who did you see die?" Sirius asked, his voice oddly somber.

"My parents." I replied quietly

"I saw my baby cousin die. She had some kind of birth defect where she reacted badly to magic, it's extraordinarily rare, more rare than being a squib." Sirius said, a far off look in his eye. "I asked the medi-wizard when I was young and had just seen it what caused it, and since my parents weren't around, he told me the truth. It comes from inbreeding; marrying your own family and having offspring from them. He said it's a disease that only purebloods really see, and since it is so rare, it's not well known. That was when I first thought that my parents might not be right about 'pureblood'."

"It takes a brave person to stand up their family." I commented, watching as Sirius lips quirked up into a small smile.

"Thanks." Sirius said

I made a noncommittal noise and the silence was a little easier after that. Sirius and I split up as soon as we reached the Great Hall, with me going to the library and I wasn't sure what he was up too. I had an hour until Lunch and then afterwards was Herbology and then Defense against the Dark Arts. We were going to be the first Defense class of the year, which was strange considering it was the second day of the school starting, but I was definitely eager to find out who our Defense teacher was going to be. I spent the hour in the library reading my Transfiguration book, taking notes about things I needed clarification on and hoping Lily would be able to answer the questions I had. Transfiguration wasn't her strongest subject either though so I might have to go to Professor McGonagall.

When the bell rang, I packed up my things and headed to the Great Hall to meet the others. I was the first one to arrive so I sat at the table and ate a turkey sandwich while waiting. It wasn't long before Lily slid in next to me, looking flustered, and began piling food onto her plate with a gusto.

"How was Arithmancy?" I asked curiously

"It was interesting." Lily said as she put chips on her plate. "I made sure Remus was between James and I, so he kept the disruptions down to a minimum. I don't know how I'm going to get through the class all year with him though."

"You'll survive." I said dryly, wondering when they would begin to get along again. James ego definitely needed to deflate a little bit beforehand but maybe I could speed up the process just a little. I was going to tell her about Care of Magical Creatures when I felt someone slide into the sea next to me, uncomfortably close.

"Hi, Jasper." Celia said, fluttering her eyelashes at me again.

"Hey, Celia." I said, smiling uncomfortably and taking a bite of my sandwich to avoid having to talk to her.

"So I heard from someone you are trying out for the Quidditch team." Celia said in a sickly sweet tone of voice. "I bet you'll be great."

I choked, and as I was getting a drink of water, I heard stifled laughter coming from down the table. Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter were watching as Celia almost clung to my side and I could just guess who had been the 'someone' who told her I was going to be trying out for Quidditch. "Um, thanks. Yeah, I was thinking about it."

"Have you played Quidditch a lot?" Celia asked, scooting just a little closer. I, in turn, scooted closer to Lily who shot me a disgruntled look but I could see thin traces of amusement in her green eyes. "Maybe you could teach me to throw a quaffle sometime?"

"Uh, I'm honestly not that good." I replied, rubbing the back of my neck and wondering how in the hell I was going to get this girl away from me without making her cry.

"Well, I'll be cheering for you in the stands when you try out." Celia said, leaning in a little bit closer to say the rest in a low tone. "I might even have a surprise for you if you make it on the team."

"Oh, okay." I said nervously, clearing my throat a little and smiling uneasily.

"Alright, well I better get going. Take care, Jasper." Celia said, winking at me and then getting up to move further down the bench to where her friends were sitting. The group of girls immediately broke out into giggles and I groaned, sinking my face into my hands.

"Well, that was painful to watch." Lily said, smirking at me as she ate.

"You could have helped." I shot back, still hiding my face.

"That wouldn't have been any fun at all." Lily said, cackling a little bit at my discomfort. "Although, you would think she could take a hint. Either she's more obtuse than I thought or maybe she thinks you are just shy.."

"Lily, I need her to stop." I said, voice pained. "I have no interest in her."

"Get a girlfriend?" Lily suggested after she thought about it for a moment. "Mary McDonald is single. She's the brunette over there, way more down to earth. I've heard she's pretty smart and she's one of the Chaser's on the team."

"No." I said dismissively. "She's-"

"Not your type, yeah yeah." Lily finished my sentence, waving her hand. She thought for a moment before snapping her fingers. "Lara Ward! She's the Ravenclaw prefect, blonde, really witty and uses a lot of sarcasm. She's cute, wears glasses."

"No." I said, shaking my head.

"I'd say I would pretend to be your girlfriend, but James would blow a gasket. If we told him it was fake, no one would believe we were dating because no way would James stay friends with you." Lily said, adopting the same annoyed tone she always did whenever James name was brought up. "He hates every guy I date."

"I don't know what to do." I said, letting my head hit the table with a solid thunk. This wasn't supposed to be part of the plan. I just wanted a few friends and to be left alone.

"Well, what's your type?" Lily asked, curiosity tinging her voice.

"I don't want to talk about it." I replied

"Oh come on, it's fine, I won't mind." Lily reasoned, patting me on the shoulder. "Do you like girls with dark hair or light hair?"

"It doesn't matter." I said dully

"Okay, how about girls who are smart?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow

"Intelligence is attractive on anyone." I said neutrally

"Girls with big boobs?" Lily guessed, exasperated

"Lily!" I exclaimed, shocked and feeling my face heat up.

"What?" Lily asked, nonplussed "I'm just asking. You're making this difficult."

"I don't want to talk about it." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Just tell me." Lily needled and I felt my temper steadily rising "Are you picky?"

"Lily." I said warningly

"Jasper." She mocked "It's not like I'll judge you. Do you like athletic girls?"

"Fine!" I all but shouted, drawing the attention of people nearby. I grabbed Lily's wrist, pulling her from her seat, and she followed with a shocked expression plastered on her face. I frog marched us both out of the Great Hall, turning a few corridors at random until I saw a door, opened it, and pushed her into the empty classroom. I whipped out my wand, cast a silencing charm on the room and made sure that the door was locked before I turned around to face Lily.

"Well this is dramatic." Lily commented, one eyebrow up in silent question.

"If I tell you, will you please stop talking about it?" I hissed, annoyance and fear surging up in me unchecked. "Since you are so damn curious, I like cock. As in boys. So no, I don't have a type of girl I fancy because I would prefer to take it up the arse any day of the week. Are you happy now?"

Lily was stunned into silence. I saw shock, then confusion, and then understanding all on her face in that order. I expected her to look at me with disgust or loathing next so I lowered my eyes, silently berating myself for telling someone I had just met. It was probably going to be all over school by dinner that I was a poof, so what the hell was I going to do now. Oh god, what if I had to move out of my dorm? I felt like I was going to be sick and that's when I felt arms wrap around me.

"I'm sorry." Lily murmured into my shoulder, pulling back and looking at my face. She was smiling sadly now and it was my turn to be surprised. "I shouldn't have been pushing you like that. It wasn't fair."

"Yo-You don't hate me?" I asked unsurely, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"No!" Lily exclaimed, outrage written all over her face. "Why would you think that? Absolutely not."

"It's just that.. Everyone I told, they didn't want anything to do with me after that. My parents, they were okay with it I guess, but we just never talked about it again. Like it was the family shameful secret." I said quietly, thinking of my past life. I had no idea how the magical world viewed people liking the same gender, I had just assumed that it was exactly like my previous life, so I didn't want to tell anyone at all. I know that Jasper was a lot closer with his parents than I had been with my own, so I know they would have probably accepted it, but they weren't my parents. My parents who had looked at me with disdain, fear, disgust, and shock on their face when I had told them. The parents who had told me I should never tell anyone because it would make me a target.

"You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are, Jasper." Lily said, pulling me against her tighter. I was on the shorter side, so Lily and I were about the same height which made for an easy hug. "I don't care who you find attractive. In fact, I think it's kind of brilliant because now we can talk about guys together! I also now know for a fact you would never check me out or date me, which makes having a guy best friend a lot less complicated!"

"I guess.." I mumbled, still surprised by how easy going she was being about the whole thing. I felt hope begin to spread throughout my body - hope that maybe this time, my life would be different and I could allow myself to be with someone like that.

"So, any boys caught your fancy?" Lily asked teasingly as we broke apart.

"I've been here two days." I said flatly, moving the blonde hair out of my eyes and wondering if I should get it cut.

"Oh come on, you must have thought someone was cute." Lily said, nudging my side with her elbow.

"Well.." I said, trailing off but getting a little confidence when I saw Lily's expectant look. "I don't know. I guess."

"Who?" Lily asked excitedly, her almond shaped green eyes almost sparkling as she leaned forward.

"Sirius has a nice body." I admitted, feeling my face flush when I said it out loud. I was surprised to hear Lily start giggling, clapping a hand over her mouth.

"Have you seen him.. Y'know?" Lil asked conspiratorially

"No!" I all but shouted, causing her to start giggling again. "He sleeps without a shirt on, I just saw him in pajama pants."

"He does have a nice arse." Lily mused, making me snort. If James ever heard her talk that way about Sirius, he would have a conniption.

"So does James." I shot at her, enjoying the way the tips of her ears turned red.

"I'm woman enough to admit Potter does have some fine.. Assets." Lily said, making me snort at the intended pun. "His personality his still worse than a mountain troll though."

"Maybe he just gets stupid around you." I said, smiling a little at how easy the conversation was flowing between us.

"Maybe." Lily said, and then I got worried when I saw the mischievous look in her eye. "I wonder if all the rumors about Sirius are true?"

"Rumors?" I asked, frowning

"Well, he's a bit of a manwhore." Lily said, frowning a little but it smoothed away almost instantly. "He snogs a lot of girls in a lot of broom cupboards, but he's only gone all the way a couple of times, at least that's what they say."

"Is that the rumor you wonder is true?" I asked curiously

"Not exactly." Lily said with a devious smile. "They say he's really big."

"Big?" I asked,confused before it dawned on me what she was talking about and I flushed bright red again. "Oh. I don't know."

"Let me know if you find out." Lily said, nuding my shoulder again before slipping off the desk she had sat down on while we were talking. "Now, unlock these doors, it's almost time for herbology and I can't be late."

"Yes ma'am." I said, fake saluting and casting the counter spell to undo the enchantments I had put on the door so no one could eavesdrop on us. Lily and I joked the entire way to the greenhouses, the conversation light and funny, and I myself felt a lot more carefree than I had in a long time. It was almost like sharing that part of Lily had brought us closer together, which was strange because normally that was what had driven people away. I wondered if this was what it felt like to really have a best friend, and if it was, it was an amazing feeling.

Herbology was with the Hufflepuff's and we were working the Greenhouse Four today, which contained the most dangerous plants like devil's snare inside of it. Professor Sprout was an extremely young looking witch, and I found out from Lily she had only taken up as the Herbology teacher last year, but she really knew what she was doing. She gave us a lecture about how this year we would be working with things a lot more dangerous than we ever had, that there should be no horseplaying in the classroom, and immaturity would result in ejection from the course. We all listened to her speech and took notes, but unfortunately, that was all we did today. She said to come prepared the next lesson because we would be dealing with Devil's Snare in a practical sense instead of just taking notes on it like we did now.

Lily and I headed up to the Defense class even though it wasn't due to start in twenty minutes, partly so we could try and see who the professor was and to get good seats as well. We were not the only ones who had this idea, apparently, because there were quite a few students already waiting outside the door when we got there and the entire class was in the hall five minutes before the lesson was due to start; even the Marauders. We all loitered around, some people making wild guesses as to who the teacher might be or what they might look like, until with only two minutes left for the class to start, the door of the class opened up on its own. We all filed in cautiously, scanning the empty classroom with curiosity, before taking our seats and pulling our books out. We waited with bated breath as the bell rang, signalling the beginning of class, and it was a little anti climactic when nothing happened.

"Where's our teacher?" One of the Ravenclaws complained from the back.

"Ah, sorry I'm late Mr. Goldstein. I will do my best to be as punctual as you all managed to be in the future." said a very familiar voice from the classroom door.

"Professor Dumbledore?" James asked out loud, surprised "You're our teacher?"

"Indeed, Mr. Potter. An astute observation." Professor Dumbledore said merrily, approaching the head of the class with a bit of a bounce in his step. Despite his cheerful attitude and demeanor, I could tell he was working overtime based on the dark circles under his eyes and the worry lines on his face. The war was certainly taking its toll on our Headmaster, even as young as it was. "I will be filling in as the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher until we find someone more permanent. I admit, it was difficult to find someone willing to take the position this year, but I am hopeful we will find someone before Christmas. Now, I have read what you have done in previous years, but I thought that we should begin with an assessment of your skills. So, wands out everyone and please stand towards the back of the room."

Dumbledore brought his own wand out as we all filed into the back, lining up against the back of the wall and watching as he caused the desks to all go to one side of the room or another. With another twist and flourish, there was a long platform in the center of the room in front of where he was standing. Exciting muttering filled the room as people began to guess what he wanted us to do.

"How many of you have been in a duel before?" Professor Dumbledore asked, looking out as a lot of us raised our hands. Honestly, I was surprised to find out how few of us had been. Sirius, James, Remus, and I were the only Gryffindor sixth years and only a few of the Ravenclaws had as well. "Ah, well no matter. I will explain the rules to you all and then we will do this in a tournament style, with the winner getting a prize of my choosing. Now, you will bow before and after the duel. We will not be using lethal force. The match is over when your opponent is either unable to proceed, surrenders, or I call the match. Does everyone understand?"

We all nodded, a few people saying 'Yes, Professor', and without further ado he called out two names that I didn't recognize. They were both Ravenclaws, one was a dark skinned boy and the other a girl with soft looking brown hair. I could see how the girl's wand was subtly shaking and I guessed it would be the boy who won, especially considering he was one of the people who had said they had been in a duel before.

After Dumbledore told them to begin, the match was disappointingly fast. The girl shot out a stupefy first, which the boy blocked, and then he countered with his own that shattered the weak shield she had formed, blasting her out of the ring. Dumbledore revived the girl and declared the boy the victor before going to a sheet of parchment and calling out the next two names.

"Remus Lupin and Jasper Tatham." He said clearly, looking at us. I sent Remus a quick smile, which he returned, and felt Lily clap my back supportively on my way up to the dueling platform.

"Remus has got this." I hear Sirius proclaim loudly, which I ignored in favor of watching Remus. He was right handed, so I filed that information away in case in became useful. Remus sent me a another friendly grin as we both bowed, and I returned it as I felt the adrenaline beginning to flood my body.

"Begin." Dumbledore called out, shooting sparks from his wand like he had in the previous match.

"Expelliarmus." Remus called out quickly, causing me to use the shield charm and rebound the curse back to him. My classmates hadn't had enough practice using non verbal spells to use them during a duel, but I had been so it gave me the split second advantage. I cast a stupefy at him, which he hastily blocked before sending one back at me. I had surprised him with not using the incantations but he wasn't down yet.

' _Incarcerous._ ' I thought, casting the spell to make ropes appear and bind around the opponent. Remus used the cutting curse to get the ropes away, as I had expected, but it had made him take a step back as well. When he did so, his foot fell into the quicksand I had turned that part of the platform into while he was distracted by the ropes, and I quickly stunned him when he was caught off guard and looking down at the sand.

Dumbledore made his way over to Remus, with me close behind, and revived him. I held out my hand to lift him up, which he accepted, and we both bowed to one another before Dumbledore called me as the winner.

"That was a good move." Remus said, smiling to show he had no ill feelings. "You are a really good opponent. How long have you been using non verbals?"

"About a year." I admitted, shrugging a little. "I just started using them all the time to get into the habit, so now I don't even really think about saying it anymore."

"Brilliant, we should definitely duel again together sometime." Remus proposed

"Absolutely." I agreed. It never hurt to practice more and a live opponent was a lot better than the dummies I had at home or the ones I could probably make the Room of Requirement make.

"Now, before we move onto the next duel, I'd like to point out how Mr. Tatham used non verbals and the edge it gave him to win that match. He distracted Mr. Lupin with the ropes and used Transfiguration to change the battlefield to suit his purposes, which was quite ingenious, and Mr. Lupin was none the wiser of the danger behind him because of the non verbal spell." Dumbledore said, nodding his head at me when he brought my name up, which made me turn red. "Ten points to Gryffindor for taking so well to your lessons, Mr. Tatham, and applying them so creatively."

"Thank you, Professor." I mumbled almost inaudibly, but he winked at me from behind his half moon spectacles to indicate he had heard me.

"Next, Sirius Black and Lily Evans." Dumbledore said, using his wand to get rid of my quicksand so the platform was once again smooth.

"You got this, Lily." I said, clapping her on the back.

"You can do it, Evans!" James cheered, which Lily ignored after rolling her eyes.

"Thanks, James." Sirius drawled, almost swaggering up to the platform.

"Aw, come on Padfoot." James said, messing his hair up in the front to make it look as though he had just gotten off a broomstick.

"You c-can do it, Sirius!" Peter said, uncharacteristically loud for him.

"Thanks, Wormtail." Sirius said, grinning at him. "At least one of my friends has confidence in me."

"Alright, Alright." Dumbledore said chuckling, getting their attention. Lily and Sirius both bowed to one another and Professor Dumbledore started the match.

I could tell right off the bat that Lily, as much as I wanted her to win, was clearly outmatched. They were both aggressive duelers, but Sirius was extraordinarily fast. He focused on offense, firing spell after spell at Lily, and she was instantly put on the defensive. I think if she had been able to move around more she would have done better, but Sirius was not letting her get an attack in, forcing her to consistently use shield charms and forcing her backwards. It was over after a couple of minutes, with Lily being graceful about her loss and Sirius smirking in victory.

The next match was a pair of Ravenclaws, then James against a Ravenclaw. James style was a lot like Sirius', except slightly more controlled. He used basic spells that packed a pretty big punch, overwhelming his opponent with speed, until he saw an opening where he could end it with a simple stunner. Peter was against another Ravenclaw, a blonde haired girl who looked a little familiar to me but I couldn't place why. She was not aggressive at all, letting Peter fire off the first shot, but she had a great control over herself. Peter lost pretty quickly, which I pinned down to a lack of confidence, and made a note to myself to try and help him with that later. It was funny how, now that they were real people, I was forgetting that I knew what they would come to face in the future. I wondered, for instance, what would happen if I helped Peter with his dueling: would he be confident enough in his friends, and more importantly in himself, and decline to help them? I wasn't sure, but it was absolutely something to mull over. After a Ravenclaw won his round against Mary McDonald, flirting with her at the end of it I might add, it was time for me to go again.

"Jasper Tatham and Sirius Black." Dumbledore called, looking interested. Our styles were definitely different; he was a bit wild and aggressive, where I was more controlled and passive. I'm sure he came up with plans on the fly while I like to think things through. He was still extraordinarily good, though, so I had my guard up.

"Nervous?" Sirius asked cockily, smirking at me.

"You wish." I scoffed, ignoring how hot that smirk made him look and not thinking about what he would look like on top of me with that same smirk on his face. Absolutely not thinking about it at all.

"Begin." Dumbledore said casually, shooting off the sparks from his wand and stepping back to watch us.

Sirius was predictable, to an extent, because he did the exact same thing to me that he did with Lily. I assumed he went with the 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it' outlook. The thing is, I'm not Lily and I had been dueling (or at least this body had, which gave me it's muscle memory, and I had the memories of it as well. Which was basically the same thing as experiencing it, in my book) since I was twelve with adult wizards. So, I could hold my own against a barrage of spells. I mostly deflected them, careful not to direct them towards the crowd of students, and observed Sirius to see if I could see a pattern in his movements. That was when I saw that he threw spells in groups of three basically. For instance, a stunner, disarming, and then tickle charm, a brief pause, and then repeat with a mixed variety of spells and curses. I smirked, waited until he was casting the third spell, and then performed a spell I had only done a few times before but thought would be useful enough in the future. I had planned to save it for a real duel, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to let anyone here see what I could do, so I conjured up an actual steel shield that rebounded his curse back at him. The thing about the shield was it sped the spell up before it sent it back, so it came back much quicker than the original. Not wasting time to see what he did to counter it, I rolled from behind the shield and sent a couple of stunners at him. His face was one of shock, but it quickly was covered by a grin. His eyes seemed to say challenge accepted and then he came at me with a renewed vigor. What threw me off, however, was that he had switched to non verbal spells. I had, wrongly, assumed he had to say them to do so and I was paying for that mistake. I was put on the defensive, casting protego over and over as he steadily pushed me back. I needed to come up with something drastic or he was going to win, because I just wasn't as fast as he was. I could barely get a spell in edgewise.

Sirius's eyes were narrowed in concentration and we were both sweating bullets. This had been the longest duel so far and we seemed to be about even except he was slowly making me retreat. Thinking quickly, I summoned a chair from behind him and cast the spell as it knocked into his legs. He didn't react like I had wanted him too, though, merely blasting the chair away before blocking the curse I had sent his way. I used a charm my mother had taught me to disorient opponents; I compared it to a flashbang, but what it did was mess with the vestibular system by emitting a loud, high pitched noise. Basically, it cause people to get dizzy, their spatial awareness to mess up, and sometimes people would puke if it was cast especially strong. The entire class, excluding Dumbledore I noticed offhandedly, covered their ears - which was a normal reaction and exactly what I wanted Sirius to do. I sent the stunner, but I had been too confident and had obviously not cast the spell strong enough, because he sent one towards me as well that I overlooked. I saw a red light and the next thing I saw was Dumbledore looming over me, Sirius standing behind his shoulder grinning at me even as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Who won?" I asked, my words only a tiny bit slurred.

"Of course that's the first thing he asks." I heard Lily complain, and I saw Dumbledore's lips twitch which I took to mean he had heard her as well.

"It was a draw, you both knocked one another out instantaneously." Dumbledore told me as Sirius helped me up. "You both used quite a lot of force in your stunners, and flew backwards to hit your heads against the wall, so I advise you both to go see Madam Elantra in the Hospital Wing. That was, however, a very impressive display of dueling prowess from you both."

"That was brilliant!" James crowded, clapping Sirius on the shoulder. "You guys were casting left and right, I could barely keep up!"

"Thanks mate." Sirius said, chuckling and then wincing when it caused his head to move the wrong way. I was a little dizzy but felt fine for the most part. I can imagine Sirius's was hurting more because of the concussive spell I used to mess with his hearing, which hurt a lot more on the focus than it did bystanders unless you used a general area as the focus.

"And you!" James exclaimed, laughing a little at the most likely cross eyed look on my face as I blinked my eyes to try and make the room stop slowly spinning. "Those were some amazing spells! You have got to teach me that!"

"Yeah, yeah." I agreed absentmindedly

"Off to the Hospital Wing then boys, class is almost over anyway so you won't be missing much. Homework is how to incorporate non verbal spellwork into your duels but I think you both have a firm grasp on that, so no need." Dumbledore said, waving us off. I walked over to Lily, who was beaming at me and handed my bag after telling me she would catch up with me later.

"You were holding back against Remus." Sirius accused in a friendly sort of way.

"You were holding back against Lily." I replied, using the wall as a prop as I went along the empty corridor. God, how hard had I hit my head?

"Fair enough." Sirius said, smiling at me in a way that reminded me eerily of a dog, although that could be my mind coming up with the comparison because I knew about his Animagus form. "You were still holding back in there."

"You were too." I said, not denying it. Of course I was, what idiot shows all of his tricks in one go? Granted, I had done more than I had originally wanted too but Sirius was also a much harder opponent that I had thought he would be.

"Yeah." Sirius agreed, nodding his head carefully so he didn't jostle it unnecessarily. "You're really good. My Dad made me and my brother practice a lot, and I've never had someone be able to keep up with me like that who was my own age."

"I've practiced a lot as well." I commented, thinking about the kind of 'training' the head of the Black household had probably made his two children go through. I internally shivered; Realistically, I'm not sure I would win against Sirius as I am right now because I was almost positive he knew spells that would make me sick to my stomach. Spells that his father probably taught him to get him used to and even enjoy the dark arts. It gave me a newfound respect for Sirius if that was the case. I knew first hand what it was like to be a disappointment to your parents because of the way you were born, and I'm sure I had not had it nearly as bad as he did prior to running away to the Potter's.

"Yeah, well, it was a good duel. I wouldn't mind fighting with you some day." Sirius said, roguish grin directed at me. I forced myself not to let myself blush. This was the most attention Sirius had paid me since I had met him two days ago; normally, he looked at me and everyone who wasn't a Marauder with a polite disinterest, not really finding any of them worth getting to know besides as a casual acquaintance. He was looking at me with interest now and I wasn't so sure that was a good thing. It wasn't in a romantic way, I knew that because he was way too much of a ladies man, but more like I was a puzzle he wanted to figure out. I thought about what he said, my brain finally processing the last sentence, and it confused the hell out of me.

"What do you mean fighting with me?" I asked

"I heard from Celia you want to be an Auror, right?" Sirius said, smirking just a little when he said Celia's name.

"Oh god, how does she even know that?" I asked, throwing my hands up in exasperation. The movement made me even more dizzy and I wobbled until Sirius slipped an arm around my shoulder, steadying me.

"Girl's find out everything about boys they fancy." Sirius said, the tiny smirk still on his face.

"I wish she would go fancy someone else." I grumbled, wondering what I could do to get her to stop coming on to me.

"She's not the only one who's got their eye on you." Sirius said teasingly, causing my heart to jump for a moment. "You're making it hard to find a girl who wants to find a broom cupboard! None of them want you to think they're a slut."

"You can have them all." I said seriously, internally wincing when I saw his eyebrows go up in surprise. That was stupid, what straight guy says another one can have all of the girls? I am such an idiot.

"I don't even think I could handle them all, mate." Sirius joked, making me breathe a little easier.

"I don't understand why, I'm not that interesting and they don't even know me." I said, rolling my eyes.

"That's just it, mate. They don't know you, so your 'mysterious', you're obviously smart, and you're a good looking bloke, even if you are on the short side." Sirius said, unfurling a finger with each point he made.

"I don't hold a candle to you, James, or even Remus." I objected, ignoring the short comment. It wasn't my fault this body was tiny compared to most of the other guys - James and Sirius were both at least six feet tall, Remus not far behind. Even Peter was taller than me! Now, I didn't think I was ugly by any stretch of the imagination, but I didn't think I was handsome enough to get the attention he's saying I am. Granted, he could be exaggerating for some reason - the only girl who had made an kind of advances were Celia.

"I actually asked a girl about that." Sirius admitted, scratching his head and -is he blushing? It was faint, but there was a tiny amount of red on his cheeks.

"Exactly!" I said, feeling like my point was proven. Even Sirius didn't get what was with all of the attention.

"She's the one who pointed out all the other stuff. When I asked why they thought you were attractive, she said you weren't handsome in the way that I was." Sirius said, a cocky grin coming over his lips as he talked before he got semi-serious again. "She said you really pretty for a boy and that some girls liked that."

"Oh. Awesome. I'm 'pretty'." I complained, and Sirius held up his hands defensively.

"You asked!" He said, grinning

"Well, then what did she say?" I asked, curious

"Not much." Sirius said, that grin coming over her face. "That was when I realized how stupid it was to be talking about another bloke when I could be ravaging a bird in a nearby broom cupboard."

"Classy." I said dryly, as we climbed some stairs. My head was beginning to feel better, the corridor was no longer spinning at least. So that was something. Sirius shrugged in response to my comment and I stayed silent, thinking about how to get rid of unwanted attention until we got to the Hospital Wing. Sirius had gotten a concussion from his impact with the wall, and I had just knocked my head pretty well. She made Sirius stay but gave me a clean bill of health and told me I could head down to dinner; she wanted Sirius to stay for a few hours so she could monitor him. I saw his disappointed look and stuck my tongue out, which made him honest to god pout a little bit, but I consoled him by telling him I would let the other guys know where he was and make them bring him some dessert. He seemed happier when I left after giving him that information so I went down to Dinner, planning on talking to Lily about those Transfiguration questions I had never gotten a chance to ask her.


	6. Chapter Six

**A/N: This chapter is being put out so fast because of Shinra Izu, an awesome reviewer! Thank you for your support!**

 **Warning: This scene does get a little graphic towards the end, I'm going to have to upgrade the rating to M in the future for the story but I don't think it is quite there yet. Thank you!**

Chapter Six

It was Saturday and yesterday had marked my second full week's worth of classes. It was surprisingly easy to get into the swing of things at Hogwarts and I found the time flying by as I went through the motions of my routine. Every morning I woke up first and got ready for school, then I would head down to the common room to meet Lily, who would either be waiting for me or would appear within five minutes. The two of us would go down to the Great Hall and talk over breakfast about various things, then we would pass the copy of The Daily Prophet that she got between the two of us. Usually, the boys would show up not long after and James would inevitably do something to get on Lily's nerves, which resulted in us leaving early for class and me shooting James an apologetic look on our way out.

Classes were fascinating and I was excelling at them, except Potions which I was okay at (It really helped having Lily as a partner) and of course Transfiguration. I was disappointed at how bad I really was at Transfiguration, I had thought more than once about trying to become an animagus for a multitude of reasons but now I was more scared than eager. I read quite a few books on it and they mostly detailed how exactly the transformation can go wrong than what it really entails - I wanted to ask one of the Marauder's how they had done it, but of course that would mean spilling the beans about Remus being a werewolf. Which was it's own problem, by the way, because the Full Moon was coming up and Remus had been acting just a little bit dodgy. How soon was too soon to 'figure it out', I wonder? I needed to find out if there was another way to identify a werewolf with like an artifact or something so I could blame it on that and then inform him I didn't have a problem with it. I'm pretty sure it would ease everyone's mind. Anyway, Defence was going amazingly - Dumbledore was a brilliant teacher and I felt lucky that we had him as a resource. The man was absolutely brilliant, a tad eccentric, and more helpful than not. We had been dueling a lot in class and I wondered to myself if he was preparing us for the war that was brewing outside of the castle walls.

Anyway, back to my point, it was Saturday. Last Saturday, that had meant I got up, stretched, went for a run by the lake, and then took a nap under a beechwood tree until it was time for Breakfast, where Lily would be waiting for me. Then, I would go upstairs and shower plus change. This Saturday, however, I was being woken up at a god awful time in the morning to do something I really wasn't sure I wanted to do.

"James, I'm not sure I even want to do this." I grumbled, my voice still a little hoarse from sleep. "And why in Merlin's name did you make try outs start so early?"

"So I could find out who was serious or not." James said impatiently for the third time that morning as she basically pushed me down the dormitory stairs.

"I'm the only Sirius here, mate, you know that." Sirius said jokingly, causing me to laugh which was interrupted by a yawn and James to groan at the overused pun.

"One day, you'll stop using that." James said over his shoulder, and more than half of my sleep addled brain thought that was wishful thinking on his part. That was when he basically shouted in my ear. "As for you, of course you want to do this. It's Quidditch!"

"Why are you so loud and cheerful?" I whined, fighting the urge to dig my heels in and make him stop shoving me to go faster. "It's not natural."

"Quidditch, Jasper. Quidditch." James said in lieu of actually answering, making me think that word was running through his brain on repeat like some kind of sick, demented mantra. "Besides, you're one to talk - you get up at six forty five every morning to get ready."

"Yes, I do." I said, pretending to check my imaginary watch. "Which means I have another forty five minutes of sleep that YOU stole from me."

"You're really dramatic in the mornings." Sirius commented, easily dodging the fist I swung towards him. "And violent."

"I hope you catch a bludger to the head and no girl wants to make out with you for months." I half mumbled, half said at a normal tone of voice - which was equivalent to yelling at this time of day as far as I was concerned.

"Now that is just cruel." Sirius said, walking in front of me now. He had on his quidditch uniform but without the outer robe, and I opened my half-lidded eyes a little more now because wow, his arse in those pants was great. I mean, he really filled them out. It made me wish he could wear the quidditch uniform all the time - and in bed, preferably with me. Actually, I'd prefer him naked. Wow, I was feeling rather lewd this morning. I should probably sexually objectifying my potential future teammates anyway, so I shook those thoughts from my head and just focused on putting one foot in front of the other after swatting James away from my back.

I livened up a little during breakfast, eating eggs and drinking coffee (which they thankfully had as an option. I wasn't the biggest tea drinker in the world, it was just water or coffee. The old Jasper had only drank water, so it had taken awhile to get these tastebuds to forcibly cooperate, but I had trained them well because the cup of roast I was drinking now was VERY satisfying.)

"Here, you need bacon to get protein - we need you at top performance today." James said, about to stick bacon on my plate before I grabbed his hand and gave him a weird look.

"Okay, I'm here and I am mildly awake - I've accepted I am going to be trying out." I said patiently, staring him down. "I draw the line, however, at you mothering me. Besides, I don't eat bacon."

"You don't eat bacon?" Sirius asked, gobsmacked and then hitting James' hand away as he tried to sneak another piece of toast onto Sirius' plate.

"I don't eat any pork." I told them, ignoring the incredulous looks on their faces.

"Why the hell not?" James spluttered, seeming outraged. I gave him another strange look; I'm not sure if it was Quidditch or Saturday's, but he was being weird today.

"Pigs are scavengers by nature, which means that they will eat almost anything, including rotten food, faeces, urine, carcasses, and even cancerous growths." I explained, internally laughing at the disgusted looks they were sporting. "Unfortunately, their digestive systems are incapable of effectively removing these accumulated toxins from their bodies, because a pig will digest its food entirely in about four hours. This is simply not long enough to remove the excess toxins that were ingested, which means these toxins are then stored directly in the pig's fat cells and organs. Ergo, I don't eat pork because it's disgusting."

"Well that's more than I ever wanted to know." James said cheerfully, snickering a little as I saw Sirius put the bacon he had been about to eat back onto the serving platter.

"You asked." I said, shrugging

"Don't ever say the word feces while I'm eating again." Sirius said, only half joking. I nodded in acquiescence of his request. I finished my eggs and then James was rushing us down to the pitch, even though tryouts didn't officially start for another fifteen minutes after we arrived. The captain was supposed to always be early, apparently. James also informed me that the Captain should always be the first person on the field, and the last person off of it.

"Are these actual rules he's like written down or does he just make them up as he goes along?" I asked Sirius as James ranted about how the Captain should know how to play every position.

"Do you really want to know the answer to the question?" Sirius asked in a conspiratorial whisper, making me laugh which resulted in James glaring at both of us. It wasn't long before there was a pretty decent sized crowd standing on the field, of which a third James made go sit in the stands because they were just spectators.

"Okay, so thank you all for coming." James began his speech after clearing his throat to get everyone's attention. "As I'm sure you all know, I'm James Potter, Chaser and Sixth Year. I'm the Captain for this year and as you are all aware, we lost a decent amount of good players last year. So, I know that I am returning, Sirius is a returning player, and Mary McDonald is one of our returning chasers. That leaves us needing a keeper, a seeker, a beater, and one more chaser. Now, I would like all of you to get in line depending on what position you are trying out for after you have flown three laps around the pitch as fast as you can without killing yourselves. You may start.. Now."

Getting us to start by a few rounds of the pitch was a good idea, because about a quarter of the remaining people could barely fly a straight line. It was honestly a little embarrassing. There were two second year boys who had crashed into one of the towers of stands, a group of three girls who wouldn't stop giggling long enough to properly do anything, and finally one boy wouldn't even get off the ground because he was afraid of heights. That left us with seventeen people with whom James could pick from that were standing casually in front of our 'fearless leader'.

"Seriously, who trys out for Quidditch and is afraid of heights?" I heard James asking Sirius, obviously frustrated, while the latter seemed to be catching his breath after laughing hard for an extended period of time. I cleared my throat pointedly, catching both of their attention, and James quickly got serious again.

"Okay, Chasers will come with Mary and I. Beaters, with Sirius. Keepers and Seekers, you go stand on the side of the field." James ordered, causing a flurry of action.

There were two people besides myself trying out for the seeker position. A dark haired girl who looked like a third year and had very thick eyebrows that actually looked really good on her, and a seventh year boy with orange hair and an unfortunate amount of freckles on his face. James made the Chasers pass the ball to him in Mary, going in a straight formation down the Quidditch pitch twice, and two of them were easily eliminated. That left five Chasers, four Keepers, three Beaters, and of course the three seekers (myself included).

The Keepers were then put into one of the goals and told to block as many shots as they could each. So, each Chaser got three attempts to score and then Mary and James tried as well. I figured whoever the Keeper was that consistently kept the most balls out of the goal would most likely selected, while the chaser would be a bit more complicated since they had to figure in speed, passing ability, communication, and ability to score when selecting them. They were pretty lucky that they only had to replace one Chaser, I could see it being a nightmare trying to train three new ones.

Sirius was meanwhile running the beaters through various exercises. I honestly wasn't paying that much attention to what exactly it was he was having them do because his forearms and arse were pretty distracting, but I knew it would be some kind of strength and aim testing, obviously. While I was waiting for the other positions to be tested, I figured I might as well stretch considering I had been yanked out of bed this morning without being given the chance too.

I started out with my arms - working from my hands all the way to my shoulder on each side, going through the numerous stretching exercises I knew. Next, I did my neck and my shoulders even more before working on my ankles, calves, and thighs. I let my mind wander, not really paying attention to my surroundings because of how habitually I did these stretches, and began to stretch my back. I ended the stretch by going into a backbend, holding it for about a minute, and then kicking over and sinking into the splits. It had taken months to be able to do the splits without it being terribly painful and so now I did it without any discomfort at all. I could imagine how painful it might look from the outside though.

"Dear sweet Merlin." I heard Sirius say, and figuring i wasn't directed at me, I ignored the comment until I heard the next part. "Guys are not supposed to bend that way."

"You mean you don't bend that way" I corrected him, standing up and shaking myself out. I felt a lot better now, more limber and ready for anything. I knew there was a good chance of me being in the line of fire at some point, if not many points, during the coming war and every advantage I had I could use - that was why I had started stretching in the first place. I don't know why it would come in handy or how, but better safe than sorry. "And you don't bend that way because you don't stretch."

"I'm not sure I WANT to bend that way." Sirius said, shaking his head at me from where he was standing next to Mary McDonald. I looked around the pitch and saw James shooting the quaffle at what must have been the last Keeper - which means the Seekers were going to be up soon. It was about time. I grabbed the school broom, which was apparently not nearly as bad as the ones described in the books because someone had made an anonymous donation and they had gotten a bunch of brand new ones recently. They weren't top of the line or anything amazing, but they flew straight and could keep up with pretty much the ones on the top of the market as far as speed goes. I reminded myself to check and see how much a really good broom was next time I had a chance because if I was careful with my money in the coming years, I should be able to buy a really good one and still be alright financially. I was justifying it by saying I might need to fly a broom during the war for some reason - you never know. It was a pretty weak line of reasoning as far as excuses go, but I wasn't going to dwell on it. I ignored Sirius' comment about my flexibility and walked out onto the pitch a little as I heard James call the Seekers over to where he had just landed. I was still within hearing distance when Mary commented to Sirius about it though, unfortunately, so my entire face heated up in a blush.

"You have to admit though, it does wonders for his arse - big and looks solid too." Mary said crudely, laughing as Sirius made an extremely weird noise. "Plus, flexibility never hurt anyone in the bedroom. You should see this book my mom has with all of these pos-"

"Alright, you guys are the last ones." James said cheerfully, thankfully cutting off whatever Mary was going to say next. I was never going to stretch in front of people again. "Now, it's pretty straight forward - I'm going to release nine snitches, three of them for every one of you. Whoever catches the most, wins."

"What if we all three catch three?" the third year girl with the thick eyebrows asked, sizing up both the red-haired freckle monster and myself.

"Then we do it again and again until someone catches more or you all fall from the sky, dying of exhaustion. We are going to give the snitches a thirty second head start and then you can begin." James said cheerfully

The sun was now mildly high in the sky, I estimated it was probably about nine by now. The three of us lined up and waited for James' signal for us to begin the chase. I had been tracking one of the snitches with my eyes the entire time, or had been trying too, until it suddenly vanished. Holy shit, those things were bloody fast. With a whistle ringing in our ears, the three of us kicked off the ground and the hunt was officially on. I dove towards the goal posts on the opposite side of the arena, eyes flitting around first the corners and then against all the stands to see if any of them were hiding there. I saw one near one of the posts and I shot off, speeding towards it as fast as I could and not daring to let the damn thing out of my sight. All things considered, for how small of a ball it was and how fast they were, it was an easy catch. I could hope they all went as well. I still wasn't sure if being on the team was a good idea, but my competitive nature wouldn't let me do worse than my best so I was going all out.

The next snitch that I saw was actually right behind the red-haired guy's back, seeming to almost shadow the oblivious guy, and he freaked out when I sped towards him. I remember him yelling something about knocking people out of the sky being against the rules, but I pulled my broom to the side at the last minute and snatched the golden ball from the sky. That was two. If I caught three more, I would win by default; I needed to catch at least two more. I wasn't sure how the other two were doing so I just tried to focus on finding the snitches and ignoring the other two people on the field as well as the cheering crowd of spectators - it seems that now that it was a reasonable hour, more people had showed up to watch the tryouts than I thought would honestly care.

I couldn't see the balls anywhere so I drifted higher in the sky, noticing the dark haired girl doing the same, and scanned the field. The other guy didn't seem to have a strategy at all because he was just flying listlessly around the field, head whipping left and right, and it honestly looked like he was looking faster than his mind would be able to process - which meant he was more likely to miss something. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes for just a second, and drew in a sharp breath when I realized something. I could feel magic; it was most likely because I was not used to it being in my body or the world around me, or at least this kind of magic, so I was able to feel it inside of people. Like Dumbledore's felt like a blanket, McGonagall felt like a calm lake, Sirius felt a bit like a storm, Lily was like a campfire, James was like lightning, and Remus was kind of like a river. It was hard to describe really but those were the best metaphors I could think to describe them. The snitches, however, kind of felt like James - like little balls of quick, fast lightning. I could feel one of them over by the Hufflepuff stands, so I shot over there hoping I was right. Briefly, I wondered if this counted as cheating, but shrugged it off when I realized that no one could actually prove it.

The snitch was almost at the very top, blending into one of the banners waving wildly in the air. I did a quick scan of the arena and was surprised when I saw that it was only myself and the third year still up in the air. Then I realized what that must mean - we each had four balls, so it would be impossible for the other guy to catch up at this point, so James had pulled the freckle monster from the match. I closed my eyes, scanning for that little blimp of energy, and reeled when I felt it by the Ravenclaw section. She was closer, so I casually started drifting that way, hoping it would stay there and I could at least get a head start on catching it. My plan was blown out of the water (sky?) when I saw the third year shoot off towards the Ravenclaw stands. She must have seen the snitch. I cursed and then shot off as well, lying as flat on my broom as I could, trying to gain as much speed as I possibly could get out of this broom. The wind was sharp and cold as high as I was, but it was blowing in my favor. I angled my broom down, beginning a very gradual decline in height. I was extraordinarily close when she got to the stands and whipped around them, the little ball of gold in front of her by a few feet. I flew like my life depended on it, coming up behind and slightly above her, surprisingly gaining ground on her. She had her hand outstretched, almost in her grasp, and that's when I decided to do something really stupid.

I locked the top portion of my feet around the broom, gripping as tight as I could, and held that position even as we both started to dive with the snitch. The ground was still plenty far away, I was almost directly on top of her, and she was literally inches away from grabbing the snitch, her gloved hand stretching as much as possible. That was when I turned upside down, dangling from my broom and holding on with my feet locked tightly around the thin piece of wood, which seemed a hell of a lot smaller with every millisecond, and snatched the winged, golden ball right as her fingers touched it. Ignoring the scream of frustration she let out, I delicately pulled myself back up on my broom just in time to stop myself from crashing into the Slytherin stand - well, crashing into it too hard. I still hit it hard enough to leave a dent and to throw me off balance, but I straightened my broom out and headed towards where James was standing. I could still hear the girl cursing up a storm, saying words no third year should probably even know let alone say in public, and she threw her gloves down onto the ground just as my feet touched. I gave her a sympathetic smile, told her good game, and she grudgingly replied. I knew she wasn't really mad at me, just the fact that she had lost by so close, so I walked towards where James was beaming at me.

"You aren't the best in the world, there is a lot to improve, but you are absolutely on the team." James said, beaming at me.

"You are one ballsy man, mate." Sirius said, ruffling my hair and clapping me on the shoulder. "I'm surprised you didn't die. Merlin, you should have seen her face when you nicked it right from under her nose - she was livid."

"Thanks." I said sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck and completely aware of how his arm was still laying across my shoulder. Sirius Black was going to be the death of me, I swear that now.

James told everyone he would be posting the final results by Monday morning after breakfast, telling me and the dark haired girl - whose name I learned was Piper - that I was the starting Seeker and she was the reserve. The girl seemed happy enough that at least she made it on the team, admitted to me she thought it was a pretty great catch, and we all headed off of the field in a pretty good mood.

"We are going to win this year! I can feel it!" James said, lively and jovial with a spring in his step. "We have a lot of training to do, but we have a solid team even with the new recruits."

"Yeah, we are going to destroy the other teams." Sirius said, just as hyped as James was. There attitude was pretty infectious and I couldn't wipe the grin off of my face even if I had wanted too. When we left the stadium, I started to walk in the direction of the castle when James called me back.

"Oy, Tatham, where you going?" James called out loudly

"To take a shower?" I told him, phrasing it like a question. "I smell worse than the Giant Squid probably."

"Don't insult Bessy!" Sirius exclaimed, obviously joking - I hope.

"We are required to shower in the locker rooms so we don't transport mud into the castle." James told me, gesturing to the bag in my hands. "That is why we bring extra clothes like I told you."

"I don't have any soap." I said, hoping I didn't sound too nervous and wondering how the hell I was going to get out of doing this.

"You can borrow some of mine." Sirius replied, waving away the excuse.

"Uh, okay." I said, already feeling my face get a little more warm. Oh Merlin, what have I gotten myself into?

We walked into the locker room and when I asked where the other people who had tried out where, James told me they had showered after their practice and had come back to listen to when the results would be posted and to see the end of the Seeker game. I was going to ask who he was going to pick for the team, even though I wouldn't know who they were, and that was when Sirius and James both started taking off their clothes. I quickly turned around, facing a locker, and stripped my shirt off as well.

' _You can do this.'_ I thought, controlling my breathing. ' _Just don't look and don't think about Sirius or James being naked a few feet from where you are standing. You'll be fine.'_

I stripped my pants off and heard James and Sirius both go towards where the showers must be, because a moment later I heard water come on in that direction. With my gut churning and my nerves all over the place, I walked over to where the sound was coming from and had to stop myself from sighing in relief. There were partitions separating the showers. Sure, they were really low and probably wouldn't cover much from the person standing next to you, but if I picked one far enough away that wouldn't be a problem. I visibly relaxed and slinked into the shower, closing my eyes and feeling my muscles relax as the warm water went down my back. It honestly felt so good I just stood there like that and probably would have continued to do so if it wasn't for the fact that I felt the stall door behind me open up and a small breeze made me break out in goosebumps.

"Uh, hello?" I squeaked, wincing a little at the unmanly sound I had just made. It wasn't my top priority though considering my arse was on display to someone and I didn't want to turn around in fear I would bone up. I heard something being set down on a shelf to my left and I glanced behind me, keeping the front of my body facing forward and blocked from view, and saw body wash on the built in shelf. I also caught a glimpse of the most delicious looking arse I had ever had the pleasure of seeing. Instantly, I felt the blood start rushing south and my dick began to harden.

"Brought you soap." Sirius said casually, although his voice sounded a little more hoarse than normal which was definitely not helping out with my situation at all.

"Thanks." I said gruffly, feeling awkward as can be and refusing to try and get a glimpse of any other part of Sirius - even though it wa extraordinarily tempting. I used the soap and washed myself quickly, turning the water to cold towards the end of the shower, and wrapping the towel around my waist. Thankfully, both Sirius and James had pants on when I walked into the locker section to grab my clothes and slip into them. I laid the soap down next to Sirius' bag and walked over to my locker, grabbing the underwear out and turning my back to my fellow Gryffindors before I let the towel fall down and quickly stepped into my underwear. As I was sliding my boxers up my legs, pretty much right when I was bent over, I heard a weird noise but when I turned around James was just giving a weird look to Sirius who was looking for something in his bag. Mentally shrugging off whatever it was, I finished getting dressed and headed up to the castle, ready to study a little bit before meeting up with Lily for lunch.

 **A/N: So, this was a fun chapter to write ;) I don't know why, but the story isn't saying it had been updated since May 2nd even though I have updated I think going on three times now since then.. I sent an email to Fanfiction support but they haven't gotten back to me. I would really love to see some more reviews and let me know what you liked, if there is anything in particular you want to see, and stuff like that. Thank you everyone so much for reading and I hope you enjoy!**


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

"He's a bloody slave driver." I grumbled to Lily as James walked away after handing me the practice schedule for Quidditch. "How am I supposed to study and practice Quidditch when he has five practices a week!"

"Well, he does have a lot of new people this year so you'll have to learn to work together as a team faster." Lily reasoned, making me drop my fork on my plate and look at her in astonishment.

"Are you actually agreeing with something James is doing?" I asked, blinking just to make sure.

"Oh shut up." Lily said, smacking me on my shoulder. "I'm just saying you have to admire how dedicated he is to winning."

"So now you admire him?" I asked, waggling my eyebrows at her with a grin beginning to form on my face.

"He's still an arrogant, big headed, egotistical toe rag." Lily said with a deadpan expression on her face, ignoring my antics.

"An egotistical toe rag you admire, you mean." I shot back

"I'm not talking about this." Lily said, taking a bite of chicken

"Aw, come on Lily, it's just me.. You can tell me." I said, smiling innocently

"Tell you what?" Lily asked snarkily before a devious look came into her eye that I had learned meant trouble. "That I saw the way you were watching Sirius' rear in the hallway yesterday?"

"Okay, that's enough of that." I said quickly

"Enough of what?" Remus asked tiredly as he fell into the seat next to me.

"Nothing!" Lily and I chimed together

"Okay." Remus said slowly, looking from my face, which was rapidly turning red, to Lily's, which was the picture of innocence. I really needed to get her to teach me how to pull that look off.

"Are you alright, Remus?" Lily asked, noting the rather sickly pallor he had adopted. The Full Moon was tonight, I was honestly shocked he was still walking around.

"Yeah, just an upset stomach, no big deal." Remus said casually, and I went along with it. I really needed for him to tell me. It was getting annoying pretending as though I didn't know anything, especially considering I knew and didn't care. I had a tentative idea that I didn't want to use, but I was honestly getting really impatient. The other Marauders were a little down the table from us and I wondered for a second why Remus had sat next to us to fill his plate when normally he would sit next to the boys.

"Could you pass me the pork loin, Jasper?" Remus asked politely and I did so without really thinking about it. Not long afterwards James called Remus over to them casually and I watched him go with my eyes slightly narrowed. I felt like something important had just happened but I wasn't sure what yet.

I was quickly distracted by Lily asking me questions about a Charm's class though so the thought went out of my head fairly quickly. Once we wrapped up eating dinner, we made our way to the common room to study a little bit before bed. After about a half an hour, three of my four roommates came trooping into the room, looking a little green around the gills so to speak. I packed my bag up and made my way up to the dorm curiously, wondering why the hell they weren't with Remus already; the moon was sure to be up any minutes now.

"Hey guys." I said casually, glancing around the room. Sirius and James were both holding their stomachs and laying on their beds and Peter just looked really nervous. I had a sneaking suspicion I was about to get a load of bollocks fed to me but I adopted a concerned look regardless. "Are you guys alright?"

"Don't feel too brilliant." Sirius said, groaning a little bit.

"What's wrong?" I asked, coming a little closer but keeping a bit of distance.

"I think it was something at dinner." James commented before curling up a little more into himself.

"Where is Remus?" I asked, playing along

"Hospital Wing. He got sick almost right after dinner so we took him up there." Peter informed me, still looking a little nervous.

"Maybe you three should go there for tonight as well." I suggested, internally rolling my eyes when I saw Sirius perk up a little before he remembered he was supposed to be sick. "I don't want to catch it if it is contagious and maybe the Matron can give you something to help ease the stomach problem."

"That might be a good idea." James agreed solemnly, going to stand up but faltering a little bit as he did. I moved forward instinctively before I realized it had probably been faked, so I decided to mess with them just a tiny bit.

"Maybe I should walk you guys down, you really don't look so good, James." I said, frowning to stop the smile from coming out when I saw Peter look at Sirius in a panic out of the corner of my eye.

"No, I'll be fine mate, thanks. I'm sure we can manage together." James said, clapping me on the shoulder as he went to help Sirius stand. I watched them carefully as they exited the room and then flopped down on my bed with a sigh. I had honestly gotten used to Peter snoring, James talking in his sleep, and the breathing of Sirius and Remus. It was going to be weird now that I was in here by myself for the night.

* * *

I woke up that morning and saw James, Sirius, and Peter all in their beds once again. I smiled softly at them and quietly made my way to the bathroom to get ready for classes. When I saw Lily, I told her the boys probably wouldn't be in class today because they had gotten sick last night so we went through the motions of the day without the Marauders. I got the homework for all of them in each class and told the teachers the same story. I was prepared to do that throughout all of the lessons today but I was surprised when I saw them troop into the Great Hall for lunch. I left Lily talking to Mary McDonald, who we had actually gotten a lot closer with since I joined the Quidditch team, and went to sit next to where the three of them practically collapsed into their seats. Remus must have still been in the hospital wing, I figured.

"Hey, how are you guys feeling?" I asked, looking over them carefully. Sirius had a scratch across his cheek that looked mildly deep but the other two just looked tired and hungry.

"Good, a lot better thanks." Sirius said, combining two sandwiches into one and taking a massive bite while the other two boys piled food onto their plates.

"I see you got your appetite back." I commented dryly, and Sirius chuckled a little before taking a long drink from his goblet and swallowing his food.

"Yeah, sorry. Starving. What did we miss, anything good?" Sirius asked, and looked on in curiosity as I took the notes and homework assignments out of my backpack.

"I gathered all of the stuff you guys missed today." I explained, handing them each a small stack of parchment with my neat handwriting on it. "I was expecting you guys to miss all day."

"Thanks, mate." James said, grinning as he looked at the stuff I had given him. "You didn't have to do that."

"Well, we are teammates, roommates, and..friends, I think." I said, not quite sure on the last bit. I knew we were friendly but they kind of had to tolerate me since I lived with them.

"Of course we're friends, git." Sirius said, mock offended, and ruffling my hair in a fond way. I pulled away scowling, smoothing the hair down; he had started to do that more and more.

"Well then, what are friends for." I said, smiling widely at the trio. "I did it for Remus as well, I was going to go visit him later, how is he doing?"

"Uh, he's a little more rough" Sirius said after exchanging a quick glance at James. "We think it might have been the pork. He ate a lot of it."

"That makes sense." I said, nodding. It certainly explained why he had asked me to pass him the pork yesterday only to eat with the four of them; It was really quite ingenious, actually, to pick a food they were absolutely certain I wouldn't have eaten and claim it had gotten them sick. "I told you to avoid pork."

"Yeah, yeah." James said dismissively, making me roll my eyes at him.

"Sirius, you have a scratch right there." I said, and Sirius' gray eyes widened a little bit and I'm sure he was going to give me an excuse, but I didn't want to hear a lie so I whipped my wand out and fixed it easily, grinning at him. "Be more careful, won't you? Alright, I am going to get back to Lily. She wanted to talk about that Potion's project before lunch is over so I'll see you all later. Give Remus this work for me?"

"Yeah, I will." Sirius said, relaxing as he realized I clearly wasn't going to ask where he had gotten the scratch from.

I walked over to Lily and sat down with her, pulling out the notes I had taken in Potions class so that we could figure out what it was we were going to brew. I honestly was leaving it mostly up to her, since she was the expert here, but I wanted her to pick something I could at least try to help with - and learn something from doing, as a bonus.

* * *

 **Sirius POV**

"Well, that was nice of him." James said, watching as Jasper walked away from the table to rejoin with Evans.

"Yeah." Sirius agreed, his eyes narrowed as he took in their blonde roommate. At first, Sirius had hated the idea of someone else living with them but he had warmed up to the smaller guy fairly quickly, as had the other Marauders. He was smart, friendly, and didn't beat around the bush when he was talking. Jasper was very much one of those people who basically said 'This is who I am, if you don't like it - I won't apologize'. It was something Sirius admired about the other guy who he had been trying to figure out. There was something.. Peculiar about him, but Sirius couldn't quite put his finger on it. It was like a puzzle just waiting to be solved and it was driving Sirius just a little batty.

Sirius had also been surprised at how smoothly things had gone last night. Jasper wasn't really one to pry into other people's business, at least from what Sirius had gleaned so far, but it was a little too easy. Like just now, for instance; he had healed the scratch Sirius had gotten from Remus last night but not asked where it came from. A normal person would have asked how it happened, that was only a natural thing to do, wasn't it?

"Do you guys thing last night went a little too smoothly?" Sirius asked James and Peter, looking at the two of them as they thought about what he said.

"Not really, no." James said after considering for a moment. "Why, what are you thinking, Padfoot?"

"I mean, we all know that bloke is smart. I guess it's just weird he didn't ask more questions or feel like something was off." Sirius said, wondering if he sounded paranoid.

"Maybe he did but just doesn't care." James suggested "I mean, he knows we get up to pranks and he has only known us a month. Maybe he just figured he didn't want to know or care to know."

"I guess." Sirius agreed, going back to his food. He still thought it was a little strange, but if James wasn't going to worry about it neither was Sirius. Peter might, but then again, Peter was always a little worried - he just went along with whatever James said for the most part. Sirius liked Peter a lot even though he got on his nerves sometimes because of his lack of backbone, but he was an honest, nice bloke and Sirius enjoyed his company even if he was often quiet.

* * *

 **Jasper POV**

I waited about three days to approach Remus. He looked a lot healthier than he had and Remus had even sat through classes yesterday and today, so I deemed it safe enough to talk to him. James and Peter were both on a run to get sweets from the kitchens, Sirius was probably off with some girl, and Remus and I were alone in the dormitory. I took the opportunity because I wasn't sure when we would be alone together again - and because I was extraordinarily impatient. To let him know that I knew and to see if either James or Sirius could talk to me about animagus forms. Even though I sucked at Transfiguration, I knew it would be a great asset to have during the war and when I wasn't pretending to be a normal, fun loving teenager I was planning and training for said war. Two years wasn't long enough to learn everything I wanted too, wasn't long enough to plan.

"Hey, Remus." I said casually, causing him to look up from where he was hunched over on his bed with his legs crossed, doing make up work. "I was wondering if we could talk."

"About what?" Remus asked, smiling at me a little bit.

"Anything." I said, getting off of my bed and stretching a little bit. "Is there anything on your mind? Girls, anything deeper?"

"No, not really." Remus said, grinning at me. "Right now the only thing in my head is Arithmancy, unfortunately. Why?"

"I don't know, we don't talk as much as I do with Sirius and James." I said, walking towards him. "If there was anything, you should know I'm not one to judge."

"Okay, I'll keep that in mind." Remus said, slowly and giving me his full attention now. I saw his eyes widen imperceptibly but they he looked completely relaxed, so I couldn't be sure I hadn't imagine it. "Is there something you want to talk about in particular?"

I sighed, sitting down at the end of his bed carefully and feeling a small bubble of fear settling in my stomach. I didn't want to do it this way but I didn't see how I could without it going horribly wrong, so I figured I would just have to suck it up. A teacher in my old life told me once that if you wanted to know something about someone and have them confide in you, sometimes you had to give a little bit of yourself first. That was just how people worked, he had explained, they hate feeling vulnerable but they don't mind it so much when you expose yourself as well.

"Jasper?" Remus asked again, closing his book gently. "Is there something you want to talk about? I'm not really one to judge either."

"It's about Celia." I said, frowning a little bit and pretending I didn't hear the soft exhale of relief that Remus let out.

"I'm no expert on girls, that's more Sirius' department, but I'll help if I can." Remus said sincerely with an encouraging look on his face.

"I want to let her know I'm not interested, but I'm not sure how to do it." I said, fiddling with the blanket laying on his bed to try and ease my nerves. This could still go really badly, I was banking on Remus being really accepting because of his condition but you never know how someone was going to react.

"Why don't you just tell her that?" Remus asked

"I'm afraid she might ask why I don't like her and I don't want to tell her why." I replied honestly, because it was a valid reason of why I didn't tell her to take a hike. It didn't bother me much at all, if the girl wanted to waste her life chasing after me I wasn't going to stop her but I'm sure she will get bored eventually, but it was an easier segway into the conversation than any other I could think of.

"Well, why don't you want to tell her the reason?" Remus asked, looking confused. I'm sure it didn't make much sense from his point of view. "Do you like someone else?"

"No.." I said, trailing off before picking back up again and keeping the next part purposefully vague. "I am afraid she will tell everyone else why I don't want to date her. It's kind of.. It's something that I'm ashamed of and that I don't quite like about myself, but something I can't help."

"I see." Remus said, and I could tell I had piqued his interest, that he was trying to guess what it was. I left it vague on purpose so he could draw conclusions of his own and see the similarities between his situation and my own. Sure, I didn't turn into a mindless beast once a month, but neither of us could help who we are and neither of us enjoyed being the way we are. It was just something we had to accept, deal with, and move on from. Otherwise, we would be living in misery all the time and that's not any right way to live. "Well, I might be able to help you better if I knew what the reason was. I know you don't know me terribly well, but I'm good at keeping secrets. I won't judge you or laugh at you, I promise. I also won't tell anyone else if you don't want me too."

"You promise?" I asked him, waiting until he nodded seriously before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. This was always the most nerve wracking part but I needed to keep telling myself it is worth it. "I can't date Celia because I'm not attracted to her, at all."

"I'm afraid I don't understand." Remus interrupted before I could continue, and I glanced up at him before staring at the blanket in between my fingers.

"I'm not attracted to her because I'm not attracted to girls.. At all." I said, quietly. I heard him draw in a sharp breath and I winced, waiting for the inevitable blow up that I always expected when I told someone.

"Oh. I wasn't expecting that" Remus admitted, and I looked up to him briefly to see his face. His brow was furrowed, he looked a little surprised, but he didn't look angry.

"I-I can, uh, leave. If you want. If you're angry or disgusted or.." I said, for a second completely forgetting about the fact that I was trying to get him to confess something as well.

"No!" Remus said, looking startled. "No, you don't have to leave. I'm sorry, I'm not mad or disgusted. It's fine, you are fine. Ther-There's nothing wrong with you."

I snorted at that, making Remus crack a wry grin but he still had a serious expression on his face and I could almost hear his thoughts pounding around his head. "I know it's not normal, but I can't help it."

"There is nothing wrong with being attracted to another bloke." Remus said, his voice a lot more sure now which caught me off guard. I'm sure, if I was looking in as a third party, my face would've been one similar to a deer caught in headlights. "I was surprised at first, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. It may not be conventional, but I don't think any less of you. You are just as smart, just as kind as you were a few moments ago before I knew and it changes nothing."

"I-" I honestly didn't know what to say. I had been hoping he would be okay with it, but I expected it to be in the same way my father in my past life had been. Disgusted, maybe, but still willing to talk to me and interact with me because of what he himself was. I never expected him to.. Support me, I suppose. It caught me off guard. I'm not proud of it, but I sobbed a little bit in relief and disbelief. "Thank you."

"You shouldn't have to thank me for anything." Remus said, leaning over to pat me on the shoulder. "I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me."

"I-I just thought you would be the one most likely to understand." I admitted, trying to slow my breathing down and focus on the other thing I was supposed to be confessing.

"You lost me." Remus admitted again with a tiny chuckle, easing up some of my nerves.

"I mean, you already know what it's like to be something you don't want to be." I said softly, wincing a little bit when I saw him tense and go pale.

"I'm not.. I mean, I don't like blokes as well. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but I like girls, you know?" Remus said, rambling a little bit nervously. I'm sure he was already guessing what I really meant by what I said, so I think he was trying to convince himself he was wrong and hoping I would latch onto that and ease his worries by apologizing for assuming he was gay.

"That's.. That isn't what I mean, Remus." I said, watching his face carefully as even more blood flooded from it and his eyes widened in panic.

"Well, I'm not sure what you do mean." Remus said, shuffling the papers on his bed so that he could avoid looking at me.

"Remus, it's.. It's okay. I don't care." I told him, smiling a little bit and putting my hand over his.

"Get off of me." Remus snapped, shaking me loose and causing me to flinch back. This wasn't going how I thought it would. "I don't know what you think you know, but you're wrong. I don't know why you think you can just-"

"Remus, I know you have lycanthropy." I interrupted softly, and I know despite how loud he was talking that he heard me. I could tell by the way that his body just caved in on itself, defeated, and he let out a shaky breath.

"How?" Remus asked, dully

"I knew one, before, a long time ago. It's easy to recognize if you've seen the symptoms." I lied, wishing I didn't have to but knowing it was probably for the best that I did. "I didn't think any less of him and I don't think less of you. I won't tell anyone - I just want you to know I still want to be your friend, I don't want you to have to lie to me about food poisoning anymore."

Remus winced when I mentioned him and the others lying. I could tell he was listening though because he was relaxing just a little bit at a time as I reassured him I wasn't going to tell anyone, that I was still going to be his friend.

"It can be like this conversation never happened, if you want." I promised, but he was already shaking his head even as I said it.

"No, no. It's-it's fine. You just- caught me off guard, is all. I'd be glad if we could still be friends." Remus said, the ghost of a smile on his face but he was still pale.

"Can I ask a question?" I asked seriously

"You just did." Remus joked weakly, causing me to roll my eyes and shove him a little bit. "Yeah, go ahead."

"Are Sirius, James, and Peter.. Werewolves as well?" I asked, hoping I could get him to confess that they were animagi and the secrecy would be done with. To my surprise, and delight, Remus busted out in gut wrenching laughter, making me shove him and feel just a tiny bit indignant. "Oy, it's not that ridiculous! They were gone the night of the Full Moon too!"

"Sorry, sorry." Remus apologized when he caught his breath a little, still fighting down laughter. It honestly made me feel good to see him not looking as terrified and dull-eyed. I liked him a lot better with the smile on his face and his amber eyes sparkling in restrained laughter. "No, they aren't werewolves. They - well, it's their secret to tell, to be honest. I'll let them know you know tomorrow night when we are all in the dorms together. I've had enough excitement for one night."

"Alright." I agreed,patting him on the back again.

"Oh, and Jasper?" Remus said as I was walking over to my own trunk to get my pajamas out. "I think you should tell Celia you aren't interested and leave it at that. If she asks why, tell her it is none of her business. It's the truth, after all."

"Thanks, Remus." I said, smiling "I'll keep that in mind."

I went to bed feeling pretty great after my conversation with Remus. I was hoping he wouldn't tell James, Sirius, or Peter that I was attracted to me - I wasn't so sure they would be as understanding - but the payoff was absolutely worth it. I would just have to see how everything works out tomorrow, I guess.

 **A/N: I wish someone would give me a review to let me know you are reading/enjoying these chapters. :)**


	8. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

The next day was interesting for me. I went through my routine, like normal, but it was like a dark cloud was hanging over my head as I waited to see how the other marauders would react to me knowing about Remus' 'furry little problem', as he had told me they called it. Lily could tell something was up but she didn't press the issue, I'm assuming because of what had happened last time she HAD pressed an issue. I was thankful for the lack of pressure regardless because I was already scatterbrained enough without having to come up with some lame excuse as to why I was acting weird.

Remus was more withdrawn as well, I figured he was probably trying to think about the best way to tell them, but I noticed he was more relaxed than I had seen him be since the start of school. I guess knowing that I knew and didn't care really let him relax a little; now he knew that the dorm was a safe place he could be himself, at least. All of this was just supposition, however, because we didn't talk about any of it throughout the day. Sure, there was a knowing look or reassuring one tossed between us a couple of times, but not verbal communication about the conversation tonight.

I told Lily after dinner that I was tired and going to go up to my dorm to read a little before going to bed. She looked a little disappointed but Mary plopped down next to her so I didn't feel too bad about it. When I got up to the room, the other guys were all waiting with expectant looks on their faces. Sirius was sprawled out on his bed, although he sat up when he heard the door open, James was sitting on the edge of Remus's bed, Peter was sitting on his own bed, and Remus himself was sitting cross legged. I was impressed because he looked the epitome of calm right now.

"So, I wanted to talk about my 'furry little problem'." Remus said, looking around at his friends. They all instantly looked at me with varying degrees of shock and horror on their face and I gave Remus a dry look. He had all day to think and this is what he came up with?

"Remus, are you bloody crazy? We don't even know the bloke barely. Sure, he's cool, but you can't trust him with that." Sirius said, standing up from his bed and looking like he was going to explode.

"You're one to talk after the Snape incident." James said bitterly, causing Sirius and Remus both to wince. That was obviously still a sore subject. "It's Remus' secret to tell. Are you sure though, mate?"

"Well, the point is moot because he already knows." Remus said, once again causing everyone in the room to look at me, this time cautiously.

"Okay, I wasn't expecting that." James admitted, eyeing me neutrally. "And?"

"I already told him it's fine. I've known another werewolf, he didn't choose this life it was forced upon him. I won't tell anyone and Remus is just Remus to me." I said, furthering the lie about knowing another werewolf. I had to stretch the truth a little for it to make since, I figured the end justifies the means.

"What werewolf?" Peter piped up from where he was sitting.

"He was one of my tutors." I replied cautiously, not wanting to give too many details. Details meant things you had to remember later and a higher risk of getting caught lying. I wanted this straight and simple.

"Well, that was dramatic." James commented idly, giving me an approving grin. Sirius was still looking at me a bit suspiciously but he didn't seem like he was going to explode any minute.

"Jasper thought we might all be werewolves." Remus spit out, chuckling and the tension dissipated instantly because all of the marauders burst out laughing.

"It could've been true!" I objected, rolling my eyes. "You were all acting really weird on the full moon."

"So you thought Dumbledore put you in the literal wolf's den?" Sirius asked, his face red from laughter.

"Have you met him?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.

"Fair enough." James said, becoming serious for a minute as he pondered the oddness that is Albus Dumbledore. Then he burst out laughing again, looking at Sirius and Peter as he tried to catch his breath and talk at the same time. "Should we show him?"

Peter and Sirius nodded, then there was suddenly a Stag, a big black dog, and a rat all occupying the places my new friends had been a moment ago. I eyed them with interest, I had never seen an animagus transformation before - I was surprised by how clean and quick it was. It was like their shape blurred for a moment and then boom, suddenly they were animals. It was pretty much the coolest magic feat I had seen since I became Jasper Tatham. I clapped as they transformed back, grinning like mad men.

"Now you have no excuse not to help in Transfiguration if you three can do that on your own before graduating. Are you registered?" I said, tilting my head. The three of them hesitated before slowly shaking their head, indicating they were not registered. Granted, I already knew that, but appearances had to be upkept.

"No, we aren't. You are supposed to become one until you are of age, and even then it's recommended you get help from an expert in Transfiguration." James explained, and I nodded along understandingly. That made sense and also explained why none of the books explained how you actually did the change. Well, I'll bet they did in the restricted section but I, unfortunately, did not have a magic cloak. So I was stuck perusing the normal bookshelves until I could either find a good reason for a teacher to allow me to go looking there or James trusted me enough to tell me about the cloak and would allow me to borrow it or accompany me while I did.

"You guys are bloody brilliant." I said, beaming at them. Peter looked at me with such a look of shock and happiness that I had included him in my praise, that it almost broke my heart. I felt for the guy; it wasn't fun to be overshadowed by other people, and it was pretty much inevitable when you have two big personalities like James and Sirius to be a little overshadowed. When you didn't know who you were and were not confident in yourself, that could easily lead to resentment and the desire for power and recognition.

"We know." Sirius said, shrugging his shoulders but winking at me to let me know he was only kidding. I was slowly figuring out that Sirius wasn't so much a womanizer that he just flirted with everyone; friends, teachers, strangers. I mean, yeah, he did make out with quite a few girls but it wasn't like he was shagging them left and right. He just liked snogging.

"So, is it hard?" I asked eagerly, leaning forward a little bit. "Becoming an animagus, I mean."

"It's a lot of work." James said, nodding an affirmative. "You have to practice a lot of meditation, there is this god awful complex potion to make, then the potion itself is god awful, then the hardest part is the first transformation. After that it's just like flipping a switch and then boom, you are the animal."

"That's awesome. I have always wanted to become one." I said, innocently looking at James who was looking pretty unsure.

"I don't know mate, let me think about it first, okay?" James said, cautiously "After we did it, there were a lot of things that could go wrong, and if I was the one helping you and something went wrong after my own time was great, I don't know how I'd live with myself."

"I'll let you borrow a good book on it that I bought. Goes in depth more than any of the library books about the actual process." Sirius offered, making me grin and nod. He rolled his eyes, making a placating gesture. "Alright, calm down. Rome wasn't built in a day and all that."

"Something I have always wondered, is it the same as your patronus?" I asked, honestly curious about that fact.

"Usually." Peter, surprisingly, was the one to confirm that. "It's pretty rare that it differs. Most times, when the animagus form and patronus are different, it is because the patronus changed after the animagus had already gotten the form. You know, if you love someone and you associate an animal with them, your patronus will reflect that."

"Or if you are grieving someone." Remus added somberly, making a small silence happen.

"What is your patronus?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Let's find out." I said, lifting my wand up. I know for Jasper it had been an Elephant, which would be an awesome animagus transformation kind of because I could literally crush people, but not so awesome for stealth. "Expecto Patronum!"

The memory I had used had been the first time I had used magic in this life. I had been feeling so low, so depressed and moderately terrified of what I knew the future would bring that feeling the magic flow through me, warm me from my very core, it was the happiest I can ever recall being in both of my lives. What burst through my wand was a sleek, four legged creature that came to a stop in front of me after doing a lap around the room.

"Is that a dog?" Sirius asked, grinning "Alright! Two for two, what kind-?"

"That's not a dog, it looks kind of like a wolf?" James said, squinting from behind his glasses as though that would enable him to see it more clearly.

"That's not a wolf." Remus said confidently.

"It's a coyote." Peter said quietly, making us all look at him then back to the creature.

"Yeah, I think you're right." I agreed, looking at it as it slowly began to lose its shape.

"That's a good animal." Remus commented, sending me a quick smile. "They represent adaptability, playfulness, insightfulness, resourcefulness, and a paradoxical nature."

"Paradoxical nature?" I asked, curiously; I had never heard that before.

"Yeah, it just means having traits that may contradict themselves. Like being merciful but ruthless at different times." Remus explained

"Also, you're a trickster!" James threw in, making the four of us laugh as the coyote completely disappeared from the room, leaving it more dim than it had previously seemed prior to the patronus being cast.

The four of us spent the rest of the night lounging around our dorm, just talking with each other. It was honestly really nice to get to know them a little bit better and hear the stories about different full moons or funny pranks they had pulled on various people. Most of it was harmless, but their were a couple of mean spirited things thrown in there that made me frown and be glad that they had grown out of their vindictive stage for the most part. Sirius also gave me the book he had mentioned, So You Want To Be An Animagus?, which was extraordinarily insightful - well, at least the first chapter was. It kind of just outlined the entire process into basic parts, but it made me excited to read through the whole thing. Also, Sirius promised that once I read through it and one other book he had, if I still wanted to be an Animagus, he would talk to James about the two of them helping me. I was going to really absorb those books, I was practically wiggling in excitement, which made my friends laugh and tease me a little bit. The night ended on a good night and I was content as I listened to my roommates breathing and snores, my eyes slowly drifting shut as I went to sleep myself.

* * *

"You've been spending a lot of time with the boys lately." Lily commented as we walked to breakfast together a few days later.

"I suppose I have." I said after thinking about it for a moment. "Does it bother you?"

"Yes! You can't have other friends." Lily said teasingly, bumping my hip with hers as we walked along the corridor to get to the stairs. "No, but I miss hanging out with you as much. So, I've decided since you owe me-"

"I owe you?" I asked critically, raising an eyebrow and trying hard to keep a straight face as Lily nodded solemnly. She reminded me a lot of this girl I knew back in my old life. I wish I could remember her name, I think she had black hair? Amanda? It worried me that the memories were getting fainter. I needed to write down important points about the future of this world, like the Horcrux locations, but where would be safe enough?

"Yes, you do." Lily said, smirking a little at me. "We are going to go to Hogsmeade this weekend and get costumes together!"

"Shopping?" I asked with a groan. I wasn't one to spend a bunch of hours pointlessly going through a hundred outfits and stores only to go back for the second one I tried on. I like it, I buy it, and if I think it may not fit - I'll try it on. Now that I'm magic, I bet I could alter the clothes myself though.. Something I'll have to look into.

"Yes! You're going to love it, it's your first time in Hogsmeade, right?" Lily asked, smiling dazzlingly at me.

"Yeah, but I have to be back by four o'clock because James is making us practice." I said, rolling my eyes.

"On a Hogsmeade weekend?" Lily asked, gasping dramatically "That's sacrilegious!"

"Don't let him hear you say that." I advised her dryly, thinking about James' reaction. "He thinks Quidditch is his religion. If it was up to him and he wasn't so afraid of Mary cursing his bollocks off, we would be out there dawn to dusk because of the game next weekend."

My first game was coming and needless to say, I was nervous. Sure, it had been fun catching the snitch right from under that girl's nose and flying was, needless to say, awesome. I hate crowds however, so I was freaking out about falling off my broom, not catching the snitch and everyone hating me, catching the snitch too early and everyone hating me, catching the snitch too late and everyone hating me. Basically, I was convinced come Saturday night or Sunday morning after the game, everybody was going to hate me. Except Hufflepuff, because I was probably going to single handedly win the game for them. Sirius kept telling me Hufflepuff was a great team to play against for my first time, a good team to 'get my feet wet' as he said, and that had made me feel better for a moment. Okay, it had distracted me for a moment because it made me think about his wet feet in the shower.. Which turned into his legs, his arse, his abs, and arms. I still hadn't caught sight of anything else because I felt like I would be invading his privacy. As if secretly perving on his arse was much better, but I digress.

Lily and I ate breakfast in peace for the most part. I say the most part because there was a spell I had been working on, one that made the victim of aforementioned spell sing what song you wanted them too, and I was going to use it on James and Sirius this morning when they came down. Lily knew nothing about it, I was honestly kind of afraid she would give it away, but I was probably going to do that on my own. Lily was already giving me the side eye because of how abnormally excited I was and I kept glancing at the Great Hall doors every couple minutes like a maniac. Finally, Sirius and James walked through the door. I was honestly getting a little worried they wouldn't show up because if I ate my eggs any slower, Lily was going to murder me - possibly with the dish of cream she was looking at, I'm not sure.

I greeted the boys, and James greeted Lily who promptly ignored him, and they sat down a couple of seats away from us. Luckily, there was no one in between us, so I aimed my wand behind Lily's back and fired the spell. It took a couple of seconds to go into effect, but pretty soon James and Sirius' voices were singing for the Great Hall to hear. They were singing surprisingly well, actually, which surprised me.

 _Life inside the music box ain't easy_

 _The mallets hit the gears are always turning_

 _And everyone inside the mechanism_

 _Is yearning_

 _To get out_

 _And sing another melody completely_

 _So different from the one they're always singing_

 _I close my eyes and think that I have found me_

 _But then I feel mortality surround me_

 _I want to sing another melody_

 _So different from the one I always sing_

 _...but when I do the dishes..._

 _I run the water very very very hot_

 _And then I fill the sink to the top with bubbles of soap_

 _And then I set all the bottle caps I own afloat_

 _And it's the greatest voyage in the history of plastic!_

James and Sirius finished singing, both of them busting the last note loudly. They both fell into each other laughing as they finished, ignoring the dirty looks from the Slytherins, and I stood up applauding. There was scattered applause from the Great Hall, one of the people was Dumbledore I was amused to notice with his blue eyes twinkling. Sirius caught the grin on my face and came over still chuckling.

"Was that your work then?" Sirius asked me, grinning

"That's what you get for making me wake up with horns." I said, sticking my tongue out childishly, which just made him laugh even more. I had been meditating each night trying to clear my mind, it's one of the first things you need to learn when becoming an animagus, and Sirius thought it would be funny to put goat horns on me while I was sleeping. In my defence, I had just woken up, so I yelled rather loudly when I saw them and asked Sirius what I had done wrong, freaking out and thinking I was going to be expelled for trying to mess with magic I shouldn't when I had to go to St. Mungo's to get them removed. Not my finest moment.

"That was hilarious." Sirius replied, wiping away a fake tear. I pushed him away playfully and pulled Lily to her feet so we could go to Charms class.

As we were walking, Lily kept looking at me strangely, so I finally said something about it when we were about halfway there. "Look, if it's about the spell, they totally had it coming."

"No, it's not about the spell." Lily said, shrugging a little bit but giving me a sly smile.

"What is it then?" I asked, confused

"It looks like you and Sirius are flirting." Lily said in a sing song voice mockingly

I laughed, which made her scowl, but I couldn't help it - the idea that Sirius was even bisexual was mildly funny, but the idea that Sirius Black was flirting with me? Hilarious. "Yeah, good one Lily. Next you'll say Dumbledore is proposing to McGonagall."

"I'm serious!" Lily replied

"No, you're Lily." I told her, smirking

"Oh, god. That pun got old in second year." Lily said, rolling her eyes.

"I wasn't here in second year, so I have a lot of catching up to do." I reminded her

"So you have to act like a twelve year old?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ouch!" I cried, putting my hand over my heart dramatically. "That one really, truly hurt!"

"Oh shut up." Lily replied, before smiling at me earnestly. "But, if you aren't flirting with Sirius, then you can meet this guy I think you'll like?"

"Who is it?" I asked, hesitantly

"Ravenclaw Keeper, his name is Jordan Brennan." Lily said excitedly, her voice going up an octave. "I heard from Mary he was gay and single, so I scoped him out for you."

"Lily!" I complained good naturedly "Come on, what are you, a matchmaker? I can find my own date or whatever."

"The fact that you call it a date or whatever means you won't." Lily interjected, patting me on the back of the head. "He's blonde, he's cute, and he's smart. Please just meet him?"

"Fine, fine. Where?" I asked begrudgingly. I will admit, it wouldn't be the end of the world if I had one date with a cute guy - I had been working hard! I deserved a little break from trying to save the wizarding world so Harry Potter didn't.

"Hogsmeade on Saturday." Lily said innocently, making me narrow my eyes. "Mary is bringing him along with her."

"Lily." I asked, deceptively calm and watching her inch away. "Is he coming costume shopping with us?"

"Maybe?" Lily squeaked, ducking behind her book as I swat at her. "I'm sorry! At least I didn't spring it on you last minute!"

"I hate you." I grumbled, walking down the corridor towards Charms.

"No you don't!" Lily said, her sing song voice back full force.

"Oh, shut up."

 **A/N: Okay, it's been awhile, I hope everyone enjoys! Leave me a lovely review to sing and jump around in joy about! Thanks! :)**


	9. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

It seemed that the day of the Hogsmeade trip came in the blink of an eye. I woke up at the same time I normally did, as well as went through the normal routine of stretching and showering, but I was currently standing indecisively in front of my trunk attempting to figure out what I should wear. It was a little chilly, being the middle of October in Scotland, so I knew I would need to wear my coat and a scarf in addition to gloves. I was currently debating between a black shirt with red lines in an interesting criss cross pattern or a soft, beige shirt. If I went with black and red, I'd wear my Gryffindor scarf - if I went with the beige shirt, I'd probably wear my dark blue scarf which would make my eyes look nicer.

Lily had told me the bloke she was getting to come shopping with us was in Ravenclaw, so I wasn't sure if wearing the blue scarf would make it seem as though I was trying too hard or if wearing the Gryffindor colors made me seem too into the House system. I sighed softly, rubbing the back of my neck and wondering not for the first time this morning why I was acting like such an idiot - I didn't even know who this guy was, why was I making such a big deal out of this?

Granted, I had only ever been on two other dates because of how low key I had been in my last life about my sexuality, so it was practically uncharted territory. I couldn't help overanalyzing and overthinking everything either, it was my natural stress response. What if he was a player, only interested in sex? What if he thought I was stupid? What if he told the entire school about me? These sort of questions had been running through my head since I had woken up an hour ago.

"Just pick one already." Sirius groaned, throwing his pillow at me but missing as it went wide.

"Did I wake you?" I asked softly, nervously chewing on my bottom lip. I hadn't meant to disrupt my roommates sleep, especially considering we had practice later today with the rest of the team.

"No, I have to pee." Sirius grumbled, standing up and stretching. He was clad in only pajama bottoms and the groan he let out as he stretched his back, hands raised above his head with his abdominal muscles drawn tight, was positively sinful in my mind. Sirius blearily stumbled to the bathroom and I shook my head to focus, knowing Lily was probably already waiting for me downstairs to go down to breakfast before we met up with the other two and went to Hogsmeade.

I still hadn't made a decision when Sirius came out and saw me standing in the same position, my eyes flickering from one shirt to the other and mentally making a pro's and con list for each article of clothing.

"Merlin, you're like a bloody girl." Sirius said, rolling his eyes and coming up beside me to look at the two options I had spread out on my bed. He was close enough that I could feel the warmth emanating from his arm and I could feel my face heating up slightly at the contact. Sirius looked over the clothes critically for a moment, looking from them to me, before finally pointing to the beige shirt and blue scarf. "Wear that. Grey jeans. Now go on your ickle date and don't be late for practice."

"Thanks." I said, grinning a little as he once again collapsed on his bed and pulled the blankets to cover his head in order to block the minimal sunlight filtering into the room through the window. Part of me wondered why he didn't just pull his curtains closed, something I had never seen him do curiously enough, but then I looked at the time.

I cursed to myself quietly, quickly throwing on a pair of grey jeans and the shirt/scarf combination Sirius had decided I should wear. I wore basic black gloves with a pair of black boots to finish everything off; I dashed around the room, picking up my wallet from my bedside table and then grabbing the pillow Sirius had tossed in my direction earlier. I gently tossed the pillow on top of Sirius' blanket covered self before heading down the spiral staircase only to come face to face with a mildly peeved Lily Evans.

"Of all the days you decide to be late." Lily muttered disgustedly, looking me over with an approving look on her face before all but shoving me through the portrait hole and down the stairs to the Great Hall. We walked into the Great Hall and almost instantly Mary McDonald, a rather petite girl with dark hair cut into a flattering pixie cut, was waving at both Lily and I.

Sitting next to Mary was a fair skinned, blonde bloke who easily towered over her. He had an easygoing smile on his face and when he saw Mary's wild gesturing, he turned slightly to see who she was greeting. I watched as his eyes gravitated to Lily first and then moved over to me, scanning up and down my body, ending with his eyes locked onto mine. The smile he had got just a little bigger when he saw me, which hopefully meant he liked what he saw, and I felt my stomach flop a little inside my body as we walked closer to where they were sitting at the Gryffindor table. I felt my already slightly frayed nerves flare up and I wondered to myself whether it was actually a good idea to be doing this so.. Publically.

Jordan Brennan stood up as we came up to the pair and I had to admit I kind of liked how tall he was, easily more so than both of the girls and myself. The top of my head came up to his chin and he had a nice, easygoing presence that calmed me down slightly. He wasn't gorgeous, with his skin just a little too pale and a slightly crooked nose that spoke of it being broken at one point, but he was certainly easy on the eyes. His long limbs had a gracefulness about them that surprised me considering a lot of people with his height would usually be lanky and at least mildly uncoordinated in appearance, but the way he carried himself showed off a natural athleticism and confidence.

"Hey, I'm Jordan." He greeted, sticking his hand out to grab my own in a firm handshake. His hands were kind of cold and I could feel the callouses on his hands that told me he was familiar with hard work.

"Jasper." I replied, smiling back at him and feeling myself relax a little bit, admittedly enjoying the way his hand all but swallowed my own. "Nice to meet you."

"You too." Jordan said, releasing my hand and sitting back down next to Mary. Lily had already sat on his other side, leaving a space between herself and Jordan that was obviously a not so subtle hint as to where I should sit. I sat on the bench and poured myself a goblet of water, putting a scoop of eggs and some toast on my plate before Jordan once again grabbed my attention. "So how are you enjoying Hogwarts so far?"

"It's very different from homeschooling." I said, half-heartedly chuckling and once again praying he didn't bring up why I transferred so I didn't have to skim over the truth. It wasn't something I was ready to talk about, even though I had confessed to Sirius only a few days ago that both my parents had died in front of me because of the Thestrals in Care of Magical Creatures. "I've enjoyed it immensely though. The teachers are spectacular and everyone had been very welcoming, which I'm grateful for. It also helps that the castle is amazing."

"Yeah, we are pretty lucky to attend Hogwarts." Jasper agreed, looking around the Great Hall. The ceiling was reflecting a mildly cloudy day and there were only a few students who were up this early, most choosing to sleep in a little on Saturday and just go to Hogsmeade later in the day much like the Marauder's. It was predominantly Third Years, who would be visiting the wizarding village for the first time, that were scattered throughout the hall murmuring excitedly.

"So what classes are you taking this year?" Jordan asked casually, leading us into a discussion about the classes all four of us were taking as well as the intended career path we were striving for. I discovered Jordan wanted to be a professional Quidditch player but wanted to be a Herbologist if he didn't make the cut. It was also the job he would want to do when, if he did make it on a pro Quidditch team, he retired from aforementioned team.

"That's practical of you." I complimented, my lips quirking upwards slightly at the well thought out plan - it seemed typical of a Ravenclaw almost.

"Yeah well, I can't get pounded by Quaffles for my entire life, right?" Jordan responded, chuckling a little bit. "What career are you aiming for?"

"I want to become an Auror." I told him, taking a drink of water from the goblet in front of my plate.

Jordan snorted in amusement, causing my eyebrows to raise and exchange a quick glance with Lily who looked as bewildered as I felt faced with Jordan's response. "You're joking, right?"

"Absolutely not." I said firmly, feeling a flood of indignation, anger, and a small bit of embarrassment rising like a monsoon inside me. "Why would I be joking?"

"I mean, Auror's are - y'know, scary? You're just so small, I couldn't see you facing down a dark wizard." Jordan admitted, his lips twitching as though he was fighting a smile from forming on his face.

"Well it's a good thing I wasn't planning on wrestling them in order to detain them." I responded dryly, trying to keep my cool. I wouldn't let this bother me and cloud my judgement of him, everyone had flaws - even if his blaring flaw currently was basically mocking my chosen career path.

"You know Professor Flitwick is a dueling champion, one of the best duelers around I've heard, and he is shorter than most." Lily piped in, her green eyes slightly narrowed. I knew from personal experience that Lily hated, more than even James Potter, was people saying others couldn't do something for stupid reasons - for example, for being too short or being a woman.

"True." Jordan agreed easily, making my shoulders relax a little as I felt he was most likely going to apologize or retract the statement with his next words. "Even being an amazing duelist, I figure there is a reason he's a teacher and not an Auror."

"Personal preference, most likely." I said stiffly, my fuse quickly shortening the more Jordan implied I wouldn't be a good Auror based on my stature. I wasn't even that short, there were plenty of girls who were smaller than I am most likely already currently working as Auror's.

"Getting of the subject a little here, but does anyone have any idea what they are going to buy for the costumer party this year?" Mary interjected, noticing both Lily's and my own growing ire and trying to smooth everything over. "I don't have a good idea yet - I was thinking maybe a cute fairy?"

"I'm going as a vampire, I think." Jordan said, easily switching the conversation. It annoyed me that it seemed as though he hadn't realized that he had, from my perspective at least and most likely Lily's as well, just put his foot in his mouth only moments ago but I decided to let it go. Sometimes you just needed to let things roll of your shoulders - it was too soon to pass judgement on Jordan based off of only that conversation.

"I was probably going to go as a Gypsy." Lily said, her tone still a little more reserved than usual but obviously willing to look over the metaphorical bump in conversation as well.

"I honestly have no idea." I admitted, causing the three sitting with me to laugh at my sheepish expression as I was left to rub the back of my neck. "I was hoping something might just pop out to me."

"We'll find you something." Lily promised, patting my hand consolingly.

"You could always be my victim whose blood I've drained." Jordan suggested, winking at me with a smile plastered on his face. It was meant to be a funny, joking comment but my mind couldn't help but think that he once again was basically saying I was weak - that a suitable role for me was a victim, someone who could never duel a dark wizard. I wished Jordan was in the same year as us, Sixth instead of his Seventh, simply so he could have seen me duel in our Defense lessons. Better yet would have been if I had been able to duel him in the lesson.

"In your dreams." I remarked, an admittedly strained smile on my face in response. This wasn't going as well as I had hoped it would, to be honest, but the day was still young. "Maybe a dragon or something awesome."

"You're ridiculous." Lily commented fondly, shaking her head at me. We filled the rest of breakfast with stories about previous Halloween's and costumes, starting with the most embarrassing costume we had ever worn to the, in our opinion, most awesome one.

The conversation went far smoother than the rather rocky start would have led me to believe it would have and I was so engaged with the other three that I hardly noticed when we stood from the table and began to make our way to Hogsmeade.

Waiting for us outside of the front gates of Hogwarts was a carriage, pulled by Thestrals, and I was interested to see that Jordan was actually the only one of us who couldn't see them. It was something you could just tell, even though it wasn't brought up, because Lily's, Mary's, and my own eyes were drawn to the decidedly creepy looking horses intimidating figure whereas Jordan's eyes passed right over them, uninterested and unseeing.

As we all filed into the carriage, Lily and Mary sitting on one side while Jordan and I took the other, the conversation turned into everyone divulging what they had done this past summer in between the previous and current school year. I shifted uncomfortably when the attention was on me, saying that I just stayed home and relaxed, and I was thankful no one seemed to notice my strange behavior.

"Finally!" Mary cheered as the carriage came to a jolting stop and before I knew it she was eagerly climbing out the door quickly followed by Lily. I gestured for Jordan to go first and restrained a laugh when I saw him trip a little on the thin step connected to the carriage for people of shorter stature to use in case they needed assistance entering or exiting. He saw my lips quirking upwards and playfully scowled at me, bumping his shoulder against mine in a familiar way as we walked along the main street of the wizarding village.

"So, shopping first or butterbeer?" Lily asked, eyes bright with anticipation and nose red from the cold.

"Shopping." I voted nonchalantly, wanting my first taste of butterbeer to be one of the last things I experienced today. I hoped that I enjoyed the drink considering how much everyone raved about it, but I kept in mind how I felt about pumpkin juice when it seemed incredibly popular as well. The others quickly agreed and Mary led the our small group to what looked like a genuine costume shop - making me wonder if this was purely for Halloween or was this a year around establishment?

The bell above the door rang as we walked inside the well-lit building, eyes widening as we took in the many racks of various costumes inside. The next couple of hours were dedicated to finding, in the two girls own words, 'the perfect costumes'. While shopping was normally just a tedious necessity for me, the company I was with made the experience far less boring as we all tried on some of the more ridiculous costumes we could find, trying to outdo one another instead of attempting to locate the costumes we had set out to find.

It had started with Mary coming into view with magenta robes on, a long white beard that did hilariously enough remind me quite a bit of our esteemed Headmaster's own beard, as well as half moon spectacles to complete the ensemble. Jordan, Lily, and I burst into laughter as seeing her and that led to Lily trying on a disgustingly realistic flobberworm costume.

Jordan then put on a bowtruckle costume, which honestly didn't look too bad because he had the long limbs to pull it off. I found a self-proclaimed 'sexy' Genie costume that I tried on, causing Lily and Mary to clutch their sides in laughter when they saw the ridiculously skimpy top that went along with the puffy pants. Jordan chuckled as he looked me over as well but his normally lighter blue eyes darkened a little as they scanned my exposed torso. I smiled a little to myself in satisfaction because of the Ravenclaw Keeper's reaction, which both Lily and Mary seemed to have noticed as well, but jumped as I was properly chastised by the store owner for wearing a costume that I wasn't going to buy and was for another gender.

After being scolded, we became slightly more serious about searching for costumes. Lily found her Gypsy costume first, which honestly looked like one of those fortune tellers at a carnival 'or the future Divination teacher, Professor Trelawney' I thought to myself and mentally snickered at the apt comparison. Mary found a cute fairy costume which was green themed, reminding me vaguely of Tinkerbell, and even purchased the wings that slowly moved back and forth on their own after you tapped them with a wand to activate them.

Jordan found a dark cloak with a high collar, the fake vampire teeth, and also purchased an absurd amount of fake blood. I was having a little trouble finding a costume but it was Lily who eventually found the one I wanted to get - which I actually kept a secret from both Mary and Jordan so as to make it a surprise come the Halloween party.

Satisfied with our various purchases, we made our way to Honeydukes in order to purchase some candy. I decided to purchase some sugar quills and a rather large block of chocolate after wandering throughout the store, amazed by the various sweets on display and for sale. The next stop after that was a small, slightly dusty store called Tomes and Scrolls where Lily had dragged us with her so she could purchase new parchment and a nicer quill specifically for note taking.

"I cannot believe you just paid that much for a bloody quill." I teased Lily, not even flinching as she swatted me on the arm.

"It's worth it - this is only for taking notes, so it'll last longer without long essays or anything extensive." Lily retorted, defending her reasoning for purchasing the quill. "Maybe I should get one for tests as well.."

"No!" I exclaimed, practically shaking as fought to restrain myself from cackling in the street like a psychopath. "That's what they want you to do, it's how it starts until one day those expensive quills are the only utensil you will write with!"

"He's right, you totally don't need another one." Mary agreed, smiling as she got a little closer to leech off of Lily's body heat. As we were walking, I felt Jordan's handing bumping into mine quite a few times until finally I just used my pinky finger to intertwine with his own, the two of us basically holding hands as we walked down the street.

At this point, I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about Jordan really. He was charming, fairly good-looking, intelligent, and athletic which were all great things in his favor. However, every time I thought about wanting to kiss him or even as he has his pinky finger wrapped around my own, my mind keeps flashing back to how easily he had dismissed my career choice. That was absolutely a huge turn off and I don't think I could be with someone who doesn't support my goals for the future; in fact, not only doesn't support them but openly ridiculed them over breakfast.

"Lily-flower!" called out the one voice that made Lily instantly waspish. There was no one that could get under Lily Evans skin quite like James Potter, who was coming from the direction of Zonko's, the joke shop our little group had been heading towards. The other Marauder's, minus Peter, were casually strolling behind James, who had sped up slightly in his eagerness to see his crush, and I watched as his eyes narrowed behind his glasses after taking in our group.

James welcoming expression quickly turned into an icy, dismissive one as he observed the four of us. His glare was directed mainly towards me, which was honestly confusing as hell because I don't think I had done anything to make him angry recently. "Are you four here together?"

"Yeah, we were just heading to Zonko's." Jordan replied, smiling amicably at James and either not noticing or ignoring his chilly disposition. The way he stressed the word together is what made me realize why he was so ticked off - he thought this was a double-date, which meant he thought I had gone back on my word by either not dating Lily myself or trying to get her to date him.

"It's not like that though James." I said, giving him a pointed look and watching as he blinked owlishly at me instead of glaring. By now, the other Marauders had all caught up to their more exuberant friend and were standing casually around him after greeting us with waves or murmured hello's.

"So, you're not on a date?" James asked, confusion prominent in his voice as well as his body language.

"No."

"Yes."

I looked at Jordan, feeling my face heat up as red most likely creeped up onto my cheeks making both sides of my face match my most likely Rudolph red nose. Now James and Jordan were both confused and staring at me, leaving me unsure of what to say - I didn't want Sirius, James, or Peter to know I was gay if I could help it. I wasn't sure how they would take it, especially considering we were on the same Quidditch team and shared a locker room.

My eyes darted to meet Remus', who was looking at me with sympathy and understanding in his own amber eyes, before my dark blue eyes moved to lock onto Lily's emerald green orbs. Something in my expression must have been pleading for her to say something and take the pressure off of me because Lily did speak up after letting out a deep, controlled breath.

"Jordan and Jasper are on a date while Mary and I are just hanging out. We are hanging out together, but it's kind of like a 'get-to-know-you' date thing that Mary and I set up between them, hence why we are also here." Lily explained, glancing around awkwardly when no one said anything.

I know Jordan felt my entire body tense after Lily dropped that bomb on my roommates and I winced, knowing the cat was out of the bag. Sirius and James had obviously just heard what Lily said, Remus already had known, and Peter was off doing something else but I had no doubts he would know by tonight. I watched as James' eyes darted from Lily, to me, to Jordan, down to our hands which were still interconnected, and then back to me before settling at the point where my hand was connected to Jordan's. I looked up at Sirius, afraid to see his reaction, but found that the normally expressive face was closed off and unreadable at the moment. I shifted awkwardly on my feet, removing my hand from Jordan's and causing James to look back up at me with an incredibly shocked look on his face and his eyes opened as wide as I had ever seen them.

"Well, congratulations you two. Hope your date goes well." Remus finally said to the both of us, ignoring the awkward silence that had descended. "We'll see the four of you later!"

Remus tugged on James arm, making sure he began to slowly move away and then pinching him in order for him to say a muttered farewell. I watched as Sirius' closed off expression seemingly evaluated me but gave no hints as to what the dark-haired man was thinking. Sirius didn't even bothering saying anything as he brushed past Jordan and I, not sparing us a second glance, and that was when I felt as if someone had put a lot of lead weights into my stomach. My words were stuck in my throat, the scene that had just happened already replaying itself over and over again in my mind while I overanalyzed it and thought about the reactions on my two friends faces.

"Jasper?" Jordan said, shaking my shoulder and snapping out of my daze to realize that Jordan, Mary, and Lily were all looking at me expectantly. Wordlessly I opened and closed my mouth, shaking my head, and wondering if I was even going to be on the Quidditch team in a couple of hours. Jordan was eyeing me with a disappointed look in his eyes mixed with pity and determination. "Look, you're a great bloke and you are really fit. I just can't be with someone who acts the way you do about people seeing PDA, treating it is like a secret. So, thanks for the good time today, it was great getting to know you three better, but I think I'm going to head back to Hogwarts."

I watched as Jordan walked away without another word, head held high and shoulders squared, not ashamed of a single bone in his body and confident in a way I want to be one day. I finally cleared my throat and got rid of the feeling of a golf ball being lodged in my throat. "Lily?"

"Yeah, Jasper?" Lily asked tentatively, her voice a mixture of comforting and apologetic with only a tiny amount of pity.

"Did he just basically make me come out to my friends and then say it wasn't enough?" I asked, wanting to make sure I got the gist of what had just happened.

"Jasper.." Lily said, trailing off unsurely and shifting her weight from one foot to the other while exchanging helpless looks with Mary.

"I can't believe this is my life." I said, walking numbly over to the wall of some random building and leaning against it, slowly sliding down so that my knees were being hugged to my chest by my arms. My head fell back with a resounding 'thunk' as I tilted it back to look up at the sky, wondering what was going to happen to me now.


End file.
